Dauntless Style
by keilanttrafae
Summary: Initiation is over and it is time to get back to real life. Tris tries to settle into her new life and receives a crash course in Dauntless, starting with a game of Truth or Dare Dauntless Style. A shocking twist of events between Four and Eric. Can the love between Tris and Four recover from an evening gone wrong? Rated M (Lemon)
1. Chapter 1

~~~Tris~~~

It has been two days since initiation has ended. Parties are still going on everywhere in Dauntless. I have never seen anything like it. Abnegation washes each other's feet and feed the factionless. Dauntless drink themselves into oblivion and do dangerous stunts. I've never heard music like this before. I played piano for our services in Abnegation but never dreamed of music like this. I wouldn't dare tell anyone about my playing. Though I got through training and thought I proved myself not to be a 'stiff' I guess I still try to put up a wall for others. But not for Tobias. Our first night out of initiation I stayed with Tobias in his apartment. It was the first time we slept in the same bed. Feeling his body next to mine was unbelievable. His arms wrapped around me the entire night. Since our first kiss down by the Chasm something stirred in me. Selfish feelings and I wanted him. Of course I want to please him in every way I can and I hope I am able to, but my body aches for him. As soon as we walked into his apartment and he shut the door behind me I knew there was no going back. I couldn't run away like a little 'stiff' but part of me was terrified. As soon as he shut the door he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into him. I let out a gasp as soon as our bodies hit. In that moment I felt weak. My legs felt like liquid and I hung on to his strong arms for support. His kisses started out slow and deliberate. Almost teasing. I wanted more. So much more. But not too much. When my back hit the wall I felt like I was going to explode. Tobias started kissing me more passionately. Deepening his lust as the seconds ticked by. I know he had only kissed a couple girls with a peck during games of truth or dare so how did he know how to do this. It must be the same animalistic instinct that is now coursing through my veins. His hands start to lift the hem of my shirt. When he touches the skin of my waist it is like electricity. More so than the night at the Ferris Wheel when he caught me and stopped me from falling. I have to stop. I can't do this. Not yet. I place my hand to Tobias' face and run my thumb over his bottom lip. When he pulls back just an inch I can see the desire in his deep dark blue eyes. God, I want him so bad. I can't do this, I remind myself. His breath is ragged and heavy. With our foreheads together we breathe the same moist warm air. If he kisses me again I will lose all self-control. Every bit of Abnegation in me will die. "Tobias…" I breathlessly whispered. "I know." He said in a low voice.

That first night we settled in on the couch and watched old movies saved from the war. The next day after dinner was more of the same. More movies. More silent moments where we stared at the TV obviously not concentrating on the movie.

When I woke up this morning and realized it had been two days since initiation had ended and all of Dauntless was still in party mode I started wondering what it was like to party Dauntless style. Could I keep up? I wanted to find out. If I stay in this apartment with Tobias and those eyes I was going to lose control.

"What are we going to do tonight? I'm kinda sick of watching movies." I told Tobias.

"Well, we could always invite everyone over for Truth or Dare." Tobias looked at me with that devilish grin. I played Candor or Dauntless with Caleb before. That is what abnegation called truth or dare but I have a feeling Dauntless don't play the same.

"Did you play often, before I came here?" I asked Tobias. "I've been here two years, Tris, and my best friend is one of the biggest party animals in Dauntless. Yes. I've played a few times." Tobias grinned and gave a small shake of his head. I wonder what memory comes to mind when he thinks about playing truth or dare.

"I can't believe I never asked you this before, Tobias…" pausing to take a breath. I look up at him to see his brows closer together to form the question he wants to ask. "Have you ever been intimate with a girl?" When his face relaxes and that half smile comes to his face I fear the worst. I fear I'm not the first girl to lie in his bed. "Like you said, you have been here for two years." His lips part and pauses as he looks to the floor as if trying to break it to me easy. "Tris," he begins. His eyes meet mine, "Is that what you're afraid of? That I may be more experienced than you?" Well, now I feel stupid. Tobias kneels down in front of where I sit on the couch lifting my chin with one finger to look at him. "Tobias…I…" I can't find the words. "Tris, I have never had sex with anyone." I look back down and try to hide a smile. "But, have you done what we have done before…when we walked in the door two days ago?" My heart skips a beat. Thinking of Tobias wanting someone else so much that the 'Four' that is inside him comes out, it just squeezes my heart. "Tris, I have never wanted anyone more than I want you." My breath hitches at the sound of his voice. It is so seductive. He wants me! Does he know what he does to me? "Is that a yes or a no?" I try to prepare myself. "No," he says "Not like that." I should have known. I mean, he has needs, he is a guy. "Not like that? Then like what?" Tobias stands and turns away from me walking a couple steps before he turns to me. "Just a simple kiss. With a couple girls. It was during a game of Truth or Dare at Zeke's place. There was no meaning behind it. You were my first real kiss." My heart sinks in my chest with a flutter. A good sinking. "How can you be 18 and never had a real kiss?" I grin. "Tris, how can you be 16 and drive me crazy like you do?" I drive him crazy! I know what he means but should I toy with him? Of course! I stand and walk a few feet to the door trying so hard to be serious. "Well then, I'm sorry I drive you crazy. I know I can be hard to deal with sometimes but maybe your mental state could use a break." I turn to the door and walk a few more feet trying so hard and failing to suppress a smile. His hand grabs my wrist and spins me around. "Tris, I…" he tries to say before I cut him off with a laugh, "I knew exactly what you meant, _Four_." I am taken off guard when I hear that throaty groan come from him as he grabs me and hauls me to his room. My laugh stops and becomes a smile when he tosses me to the bed. Kissing my neck, his hands wander my skin under the hem of my t-shirt. Our bodies lace together. My legs wrapped around him. Right now he is 'Four'. The heart stopping, breath taking instructor that pulled me from the net. I care so deeply about Tobias but this man moaning into my ear…this is 'Four'. "Tobias…" I wisper. "Hmmm…" he moans. "If you don't stop making those noises…" I choke out the best I can. Tobias leans back onto his palms. His knees rest between mine. "Why Tris Prior, do I drive _you_ crazy?" he says it that seductive tone. "You already know." I admit. He starts to lean back down to kiss me but I place my hand on his chest. One more moan, one more kiss, and I am going to lose control. I have never had these feelings before. How are there Abnegation children?! I want him so much in _that_ way. It's the most selfish thing I have ever wanted. I do want to please him, I do, but I want him to please me! "We have a party to prepare for." I try to convince myself that the party matters right now. Standing at the foot of the bed with our arms wrapped around each other he moans in my ear. "Tobias!" I say smacking his chest. He grabs his chest as if I really hurt him and falls backward onto the bed. "Oh, Tris!" He moans and laughs. I have to get out of this room!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

~~~Tobias~~~

I need to stay on this bed a few more minutes. Uuug, This girl is going to be the death of me. I wasn't lying when I said I never wanted anyone more than I want her. It's deeper than that. I want her, but I _need_ her! My mind was caught in Abnegation thinking for so long. Sixteen years. We weren't supposed to look at someone with lust in our hearts but from the moment I pulled that grey streak out of the net I never wanted someone more in my life! I could hardly contain myself when she challenged me at their first Dauntless meal. I nearly didn't contain myself when her eyes pierced into my soul when I threw knives at her. It felt like she could see all of my secrets. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. She is so brave and strong. I have to keep reminding myself that she is still the girl from Abnegation. I know first-hand that it is hard to turn the Abnegation light switch off in your mind and immediately turn the Dauntless switch on. I have watched couples join up all over Dauntless in the past two years. I watch them grope in the Pit and at the club. At first I looked away. Before Tris landed in my life I felt myself look a few minutes before looking away. I wondered if there was a girl out there for me. A girl like Tris. Though I had too much Dauntless in me to want to find an Abnegation girl, I wanted a girl with just enough Abnegation that felt like home. Someone with values and moral. Someone who knew that every touch was deliberate and thought out. Someone who knew where I came from and could understand me. Tris may have Abnegation in her but she is Dauntless! She does belong here. We belong here.

"Tobias!" Tris calls from the kitchen. Thank god she didn't call me Four. Even though I found a weakness of hers, apparently she found a weakness I didn't know I had. It turns me on when she calls me Tobias. No one other than her even knows my name. In those slow passionate moments I am Tobias. Abnegation boy with an Abnegation girl. But when she gets started and her Dauntless shines through and she calls me 'Four'…uuuh…something switches in me and all I want to do is ravage her.

"Yeah." I reply. "Do you want to gather our friends before dinner while I get the apartment ready and make us some food?" She questions. "What do we need to do to the apartment?" I wonder. "Tobias…please…no offense but you are messy." She grins. "What's wrong with this place?" I laugh. "I guess until you moved in I never saw a problem with it." Oh shit, did I just say that out loud? I was going to ask her if she wanted to move in but I guess it's now or never! "Unless you don't want to live here." I say hesitantly. "Tobias…" she says walking toward me and wrapping her arms around me. "I would love to stay here with you. Promise me you will go slow." "I promise." I say. She pulls back from my lips and looks directly into my eyes. "Another promise?" she asks. "Anything!" I respond. "Promise you will pick up your socks and boxers and keep the seat down." I can't help but laugh. "I guess I should ask what I am promising before opening my mouth. I will do my best with all that." I laugh. "Now it's my turn to ask you for a promise." This isn't going to be easy to say. "Promise what?" She says hesitantly. "Promise you won't leave me." I can't handle it if she leaves me like my mother did. "Tobias…I'm not going anywhere."

I head out to find our friends. I see Peter first. I know he and Tris are now friends but I still hold grudges. I admit he has changed a lot but I am not easy to trust people. He was happy I invited him. Since he lost nearly all of his friends because of his attitude it must feel nice to have people back in his life. He made a lot of apologies those last couple weeks of initiation. At first people thought he was up to something but then he started proving himself to people. He helped teach Al to fight in their off time. He helped Tris sneak out to meet me. He even helped Christina and Will hook up. As if they needed much help with that. "Oh and Peter…" I holler over my shoulder. "Yeah." He hollers back. "Tell some of our friends. I don't know that I will find everyone." I tell him. "Right, man, will do." He grins and walks away. I assume it is because I said '_our_ friends'. Since I am so close to Zeke's place I might as well stop there first. I can hear through the door he is practicing with the guitar. No doubt for next week's show. His band, 'Trained to Kill', is pretty good if I don't say so myself. Zeke and I write all of their songs. Shit, I hope Tris doesn't find my notebook! She knows me better than anyone but its hard opening yourself up to someone and letting them see every side of you. "Z, it Four, open the door." I say knocking on the door. The music stops. "Hey man, finally come up for some air?" Zeke smiles while coming in for a half bro hug. "You want hit in the jaw again do ya Zeke?" I laugh. "Anyways, Tris and I are having a party tonight. You in?" I ask as if it was really a question. Zeke is _always_ up for a party. "Hell ya! You know it! What time?" Tris and I said before dinner but never set a time. "You know what, any time before dinner. I'd like you and Tris to get to know each other better." "How much better?" He bounces his eye brows. "Zeke," I say in my instructor voice, "I will hurt you!" We laugh. I turn to walk away but turn back over my shoulder. "Hey Zeke…bring your guitar. I don't think Tris has ever heard real music except the thumping from the Pit in our apartment. Tell all of our friends about the party" I said. As I walked away I heard Zeke say, "Ooooh…_Our_ apartment?" I know that perverted tone. I just shake my head and keep walking. I know that between Peter and Zeke, especially Zeke, I won't have to tell anyone else. My stomach says it's almost time for dinner but my watch says I still have an hour and a half. I guess I will grab something quick when I get back to the apartment.

"Honey, I'm home!" I joke walking into the apartment. I hear two girls snickering in the kitchen. It has to be Christina. I guess the real me gets to come out in front of my initiates…or friends now I guess. "What is that smell." I say rubbing my stomach walking into the kitchen. "It's me, honey, want a taste?" Christina says while giggling. Tris puts her head down and giggles too. I must have interrupted Tris telling Christina about earlier. Why would she not tell her. The second I have time with Zeke to hang out of course I am going to tell him! I have a lot of questions to ask. I look over at Christina and with the voice I know that sets Tris on edge I say, "Christina," I lean into her with one hand on the island in front of her and one hand on the back of the chair, "what makes you so sure you can handle this." I nod down to my body. Her face goes straight as she looks up at me eyes wide. Tris, I can imagine, is looking the same. "I…" Christina barely shakes her head. I just give a little grin, "I thought so." I say and turn around to head to the bedroom and shut the door. I grin bigger when I hear the two of them giggle and say 'oh my god' a few times. I never knew I could do that. Zeke said a lot of girls had crushes on me but I thought he was trying to boost my confidence. He knows I am a virgin and have never had any interest in anyone before Tris. Well, maybe after the last two days he thinks I'm not a virgin. Man, every part of me wishes that were true right now. I chuckle. I better take a cold shower!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

~~~Tris~~~

"Oh my god." Christina and I say together! We can't help but giggle. I have never seen Tobias like that. We hear the water running. As always when I know he is in the shower I can't help but imagine him in there with water running down his bare chest. With that thought I wish I was a drop of water!

"So," Christina says, "You've been here for two days. What was it like your first time with Four?" You have to give me all the details." I feel my cheeks flush. I refuse to lie to her. She would know if I did anyways. Candor make it an art for being human lie detectors. "We haven't had sex yet." "What! Why not?" Christina nearly yelling. "I'm afraid, Christina." I admit. "What are you afraid of?" She asks with concern on her face. "I've never had sex, as you know. I'm afraid of many things. I'm afraid it will hurt. I'm also afraid because I don't look like those other Dauntless girls. What if he doesn't like…what if I'm not good enough? I also have never given someone so much of me. I mean, what happens after? Will it change me? Will it change him? What if it changes us. I don't know the first thing about sex, Christina. Abnegation are…well…stiffs!" I can't believe I am being so open and honest with her _and_ that I called Abnegation 'stiffs'. She is my best friend. Who else could I talk to about these things? Certainly not Tobias.

"Tris, It is hard for me to understand what Abnegation teaches because I'm from Candor and we are open and honest about everything. And you know I can't lie to you so I won't tell you that it isn't comfortable at first. But your body adjusts for his size. You also underestimate yourself. You are really pretty, Tris. You do have a nice body. You are used to seeing that Abnegation girl in oversized clothes with no figure. But you do have a figure and it's become a lot nicer since coming to Dauntless. And your relationship will change." I sigh and look down. "No, Tris, it will get better. You guys will be closer. Sharing that side of you with him is scary but think of it this way…he will be sharing that side of him with you. And I just saw part of that side and whew…" she continues while laughing and fanning herself. I couldn't help but laugh too. "What about sex, Chris? What is it like? Is it awkward at first? Like…I know how it's supposed to work technically speaking but how do you get to that point? Four and I have been pretty hot and heavy but…how will I know what to do?" I'm so embarrassed.

"Oh my god, Tris. Your body takes over. You do what feels good. I can't give you a play by play of what's going to happen. It's different with each couple. You don't have to start out by jumping into sex. You could just start out taking it slow. You know, forplay." She says. "Forplay?" I want to know! "Forplay…Tris…didn't they teach you anything in Abnegation?" No they really didn't. The basics like body changes, reproduction, satisfying our husband's needs. I explain it to Christina and she looks mortified. "Well….hold on you your seat Tris…or should I say you should sit down for this…" Christina goes on to explain forplay and all the lingo associated with it. Half of the time my mouth is gaped open and the other half I am sure I have a look of terror on my face. I really have been sheltered! I am mostly shocked that this would be as much for me as it is for him. I feel like I just had Sex 101 in a crash course Dauntless style. Watching Christina demonstrate with her hand and mouth on a popsicle was the last straw.

The door to the bedroom swings open and there is Tobias with a towel in his hand drying his dripping hair. His black shirt outlines his muscles. After my very in-depth talk with Christina I can't help but blush when I see him. My heart starts to race at the thought of doing those things to Tobias…or Tobias doing those things to me. Oh my god! The knock at the door snaps me out of it. Christian just chuckles. "I'll get it." Tobias says.

Christina and I walk into the living room to see Zeke putting down two guitars. Damn, I'm starting to get really frustrated at how sheltered I have become. Zeke hands me a bag of alcohol announcing he is going to 'pop my party cherry' tonight. Christina and Tobias laugh but I have to remember to ask Christina what he means. "We better go get the rest of the stuff we need for tonight, Tris. Let's leave these guys to bump chests, scratch, and measure." She giggles. "Measure?" I question. They all bust out laughing, which angers me. Christina grabs my arm, "Come on, Tris, I will explain it on the way to the Pit."

The next half an hour with Chris in the Pit is a blur. I feel like I am a zombie in those shows Tobias loves to watch on those discs. He swears he would be awesome in a zombie apocalypse. I have no doubt. He reminds me of Daryl sometimes. Rough exterior but soft interior. Christina leads me into a clothing store. She makes me buy some lingerie that would send Tobias over the edge I am sure. I got a bra and panty set that is black lace and trimmed in a deep purple. I got a sheer black robe that goes over it. It comes to my upper thigh and ties just below my bra. I got a deep red bra and panty set that is trimmed in black rhinestones. I thought it would be obvious that I was wearing it under my t-shirt but it really isn't noticeable. I buy both sets and a few other things and head back to the apartment with Christina. Our friends should be there soon. I hope Tobias and Zeke didn't eat all the food I made.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Authors Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**I just started uploading this story today and already the views and reviews are flowing in. Thank you guys so much. Chapter 4 will be coming up soon. I have 8 Chapters done so far and I have no idea how long this is going to be. But be warned. It gets pretty hot and graphic. **


	4. Chapter 4

Four…I didn't know you had it in you. If you let all that sexual frustration out at once she isn't going to know what hit her. You better take it one step at a time." He said. "I don't know if I can hold back any longer." I say putting my head in my hands.

"Four, are you ok?" Tris says as she walks in the door. "Yeah, of course!" I smile and walk over and give her a kiss. "Um, some help here." Christina says carrying a large white box. Zeke gets up and sees that the box contains dozens of Dauntless cake made into cupcakes. He grabs one and throws her a 'thanks' before shoving it into his mouth. I can't help but laugh. Poor Christina, I laugh again taking the box. "Hey, save some for the party, Zeke!" Christina yells pushing his shoulder.

Our friends start to arrive. Will shows up first and I offer him a beer. Next is Peter. Tris gives him a hug and I just close my eyes. Soon, all of our friends are in our apartment laughing, drinking, and eating the food Tris made. It's pretty good. I have to admit I was worried chicken and rice would be on the menu but she made burgers that are actually better than Dauntless burgers. I am just amazed by her. Not just how brave and strong she is but how well she is adjusting to Dauntless life. It wasn't that easy for me at first.

I lean into Tris's ear, "Go put more clothes on." She looks at me with that questioning expression. "Trust me, babydoll, you want more clothes on for this game." I say. "Babydoll? Where did that come from?" she grins. I didn't even realize I said it until it was hanging out there. "Yeah, I'm not sure but apparently you have a new nickname." I grin.

Tris, Christina, and Lynn head off to the bedroom. Hopefully to put more clothes on. The rest of us, Zeke, Will, Peter, Al, Uriah, Marlene, Lauren, and Shauna set up the shots.

Once we are all sitting around in the living room I make the announcement. "A few of you have not played Truth or Dare before." I say looking at Tris. "It sounds pretty straight forward but we are Dauntless after all." Everyone starts cheering. "So here are the rules. We all start off with 2 shots of Tequila. Since it is our apartment Tris or I will go first. We will pick one person and ask them Truth or Dare. I have been informed that our lie detector, Christina, will determine whether we tell the truth or not. If you choose truth you must answer the question honestly, like I said, Christina will tell us. If you choose dare you must complete the dare. However, if you puss out…" Tris looks at me. I forgot she isn't used to hearing me talk like that. Well, it's me so I guess this is more than a crash course in Truth or Dare. It's also a crash course in 'Four', "you can chose to take another shot and remove a piece of clothing. Remember, this isn't Amity. This is Dauntless. So choose wisely."

"Should we start them off easy Zeke?" I asked.

"Hell no, we _are_ dauntless after all." Tris said. I snapped my head toward her. She never ceases to amaze me! If that's what she wants that is what we will do but she has no idea what she is in for.

"So who is going first? You Four, or Tris?" Zeke asks after we take our shots.

"Do you…" I start to ask Tris.

"No." she interrupts.

"Zeke. Truth or Dare?" I say.

"What the hell do you think, Four! Dare!" Zeke says. We laugh. Some of these people just look amused while some look worried. As they should.

"Zeke…I dare you to kiss Uriah right on the mouth."

"What the fuck!" Uriah yells. "He may be my brother but I don't want his pansyass kissing me! That's sick Four."

"Hey you knew the rules. Put up or get the fuck out, Uriah." Again Tris looks at me. This time she grins a little.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

~~~Tris~~~

I can't believe the way Tobias is acting. The things he is saying. He never would have acted this way in Abnegation. He would have walked me to and from school. I would have invited him over for dinner with my family and later on I would have gone to dinner with his family. We would have worked together taking care of the factionless. We may have brushed each other's hand a couple of times. He would have courted me and asked my father for my hand in marriage. On our wedding day we would seal our vows with our first kiss. It would have been romantic. But we aren't Abnegation anymore. Part of Abnegation still lingers in us but we are Dauntless. He is Dauntless. Even though he has his romantic Abnegation side, he also has is bad boy Dauntless side. My god it's hot!

"Earth to Tris!" Christina says. I didn't realize I was staring at Tobias so long. Everyone now laughs at me. I feel so stupid. Now I'm blushing. Great. I must have missed Zeke kiss Uriah because his shot glass is still full and he is fully clothed.

"Tris…" Zeke says. Oh my god. I'm not kissing Uriah! Tobias puts his head down and grins. Now I am afraid. "Truth or Dare." I can't pick Truth. I can't let them see my fear or have them call me a 'stiff'. "Dare." I say. "Oooh, isn't she a brave one." Zeke says. "Let's see, little Trissy." Oh god…here it comes. "I dare you to sit on Peter's lap for the next two rounds." Zeke is now grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, fuck, Four, It wasn't my dare! Tris you don't have to!" Peter says. I look at Tobias. He looks at me with a little grin and leans in to my ear to whisper, "Are you Dauntless or not?" My eyes drill a hole through his face but I get up and sit on Peters lap. While looking at Tobias with a little grin of my own I wrap my arms around Peter's neck and whisper in his ear so no one can hear. Tobias just stares. He has no idea I told Peter to wrap his arms around my waste and act like I said something to cause him to get a little turned on. Tobias' stare deepens. "We aren't near drunk enough." Tobias says. He grabs a shot and downs it. Peter hands me a shot and I thank him and give him a little wink before I down mine as well.

"Tris, keep it moving." Tobias says. I laugh to myself knowing why he wants this to keep moving. The quicker we get these next two rounds over with the quicker I can sit down next to him again.

"Ok. Al. Truth or Dare." I nod to Al. "Truth." All says. "Pansycake" Uriah yells. We all laugh. "Is it true that during initiation you snuck off with Molly? If so what did you do exactly?" I asked Al. Al glances at Christina who raises an eyebrow. "I will know, Al." she says.

"Yes, it's true. I snuck off with Molly a few times. The first time was just talking and a little making out. Then we…" he paused, "we had sex….like…a lot!" He chuckles.

"Alright. I have heard a lot of stories about this game and I have to admit I am a little disappointed so far." Al says. "I heard these games get pretty wild so how about we step it up a little. "Lynn, truth or dare."

"Dare of course!" Lynn says. "I dare you to make-out with Marlene…" Al says. "Is that the best you got, Al. "Lynn laughs. "I wasn't done Lynn. Topless…both of you." Marlene doesn't protest because if Lynn chooses to accept this dare she has to go along with whatever Lynn was dared to do. That's part of the choice. You choose if you bring that person in on it with you. "I can take a shot and take off my sweater, Marlene." Lynn says. "What are you a pansycake. Come here." Marlene says. With that Marlene leans over and kisses Lynn gently on the lips. Lynn's hand comes up to Marlene's cheek. There kiss starts to intensify as everyone watches on. Lynn slips a hand under Marlene's shirt and pulls it off over her head. Marlene removes Lynn's shirt and cups her breast in one hand squeezing gently. Within moments their arms are wrapped around each other and I hear Lynn moan into Marlene's mouth. "FUCK!" Uriah shouts. "You two better stop or I'm going to need a cold shower!" "Here here." Tobias says raising his beer. Zeke busts out laughing while he taps the neck of his beer to Tobias's beer.

The girls put their clothes back on. I, obviously, have never seen anything like that nor did I believe it existed. Holy fuck! Did I just think 'fuck'. I giggle. Tobias looks at me to see why I am giggling. I just squeeze Peter tighter. I am going to pay for this later. Peter squeezes back. He is onto my little game.

"Christina," Lynn says, "Truth or Dare." Christina would never choose truth. She is too Dauntless for that. "Dare!" Lynn has that evil look in her eye. "I dare you to dry hump Will until he comes." "Oh my god!" I say without realizing it came out of my mouth. I bury my head in Peter's shoulder while everyone looks at me laughing. My Abnegation is showing. Tobias is shaking his head laughing, too. Apparently this is Truth or Dare Dauntless Style. Will is already on his feet not giving Christina a chance to choose. "You need a witness. Four, you get to watch." Lynn says. "Whatever, Lynn." Will says. "After that little show you and Marlene just put on…Let's go!" He hits Tobias on the back of the shoulder.

While they are gone we sit around having a drink. Shauna makes me a drink she calls a Cherry Lifesaver. She mixes Cranberry Juice with Amaretto. It's delicious! Zeke gets out his guitar and starts playing a song called "Ruthless". He is really good! "Wow, Zeke, you are really good." I tell him. "Thanks, but I can't take all the credit. Four writes most of our music, ya know." "No I didn't know!" Why didn't he tell me that. "Oh yea. He is quite a guitar player too." Why didn't I know this!

"Oh he came alright!" Tobias comes from the bedroom laughing. Christina follows with a big grin and straightening her shirt like she just conquered a beast. Will, I laugh, comes out with his hair a mess, his face flush and looking like he was the beast that was conquered.

"You can get off of Peter now, Tris." Tobias says while looking into my eyes. "Oh but I was so comfy." I say with a grin. I lean into Peter and loudly whisper so Tobias can hear, "We will have to do this again sometime, sugar." Tobias grabs my wrist and pulls me up to him. He whispers in my ear, "I know what you're doing and it's working. Just remember you are mine now, babydoll." God his grin gives me butterflies in all the right places.

After several rounds it is back to Christina again. Shauna had to give Zeke a lap dance. Uriah had to run down to the Pit in his underwear hollering for all the single ladies. Lauren was dared to pound 5 shots back to back. She is starting to sway a little. Peter nearly got his head taken off when he had to stand nose to nose with Tobias and say, 'I fucked your girlfriend, twice, and it wasn't your name she was moaning when I made her come.' His hands balled into fists at his side and jaw clenched.

"Tris, Truth or Dare." Christina says. "Dare." I smile. "What a brave little stiff you are." Oh shit she has something big planned or she wouldn't be calling me a stiff. I hope I don't have to give anyone a lap dance or hump someone. Oh god, Tobias would kill them. "I dare you to hand Four a popsicle…" she pauses. "What the fuck Christina!" I shout. Tobias's head snaps in my direction. "Did that just come out of that pretty mouth!" he said. "Four, you have no idea what she is going to say…wait for it." "As I was saying, hand Four a popsicle. He has to hold it to his crotch while you give it a blowjob."

"You don't have to, Tris." Tobias assures me. "This isn't Abnegation, Four, and I'm not a stiff." I reply. He just looks at me wide eyed while Christina hands me a red popsicle. I hand it to Tobias who is sitting on the couch. I push him backwards and move his hand and the popsicle out of the way. Pressing my body up against him and start kissing his neck. "This is supposed to be on the popsicle, Tris." Christina laughs. "Yea, well I can't do anything with it until I get it hard now can I." Everyone starts hollering. I look up at Tobias and slide down his body. I move his hand with the popsicle in it over his crotch. Everyone is in a position to watch. I am so embarrassed but I can't let it show. I start at the base of the popsicle and slowly work my tongue up to the tip. I circle the tip with my tongue. Resting my tongue on the side of the popsicle closest to me I move my head up and down letting the popsicle glide in and out of my mouth before wrapping my lips around it. Coming back up I look up at Tobias. It is obvious he is enjoying this since his breaths have become more rapid. Our eyes meet and I continue going up and down holding his hand steady with my hand. His head tilts back and he closes his eyes. "Holy Shit, Tris." He says. The room is quiet. The only thing you can hear is the little moan I give will sucking the popsicle. Tobias looks back down at me as I go to the bottom of the popsicle licking the drippings from the bottom. I swear his eyes are going to cross at this rate. I continue going up and down, sucking, slightly twisting my head from left to right as I go down and come up. "Shit, man, she is a keeper!" I hear Zeke say. I suck the last little bit off of the stick. "Mmmm…" I say, "that was delicious." Tobias dropped the stick and pulled me up on him. I straddled him and his mouth slammed into mine. His hands running up the back of my shirt. "Easy there, tiger!" I say.

"Yeah, you guys about done with all that?" Al says. "We will continue this later, Tris." Tobias says. Great. I can be brave with my friends around but when it's just me and Tobias I'm not sure if I can be so brave.

**~~~~~~~~~~~Authors Note~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**You were warned...It just keeps getting more graphic from here.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

~~~Tobias~~~

I need another beer! That woman _is_ going to be the death of me. Soon Peter and Al are kissing. I can't watch this! Zeke dares me to kiss Christina till we are sure her panties are a little moist. I look at Tris for approval. I would be more than happy to take the shot. "Do it!" Tris says. I stand up and walk up to Christina the way I did when she mouthed me off the first day of initiation. I can be intimidating I'm told. Grabbing her hips I pull her to my body and push her up against the wall. "Are you sure you can handle all this, Christina?" I say knowing how it affected her earlier. "Bring it, cowboy!" She says. I love a challenge. I put my hand on the side of her face and lean down and barely touch her lips with mine. I pull back just enough to say, "Watch your mouth, Candor." I press our lips together. In my mind it is Tris but I hold back enough because it is Christina. I reach down and grab her by her thighs and lift her so her legs wrap around my waist pressing her harder into the wall and gently bite her lower lip. Christina pulls back, "That's it, mission accomplished!"

"What's wrong, Christina, couldn't handle all that?" Tris says. Everyone starts laughing. I just look at Tris. The grin on her face and the look in her eye says something I'm not sure of. Will doesn't look so happy but it's all in good fun.

"Tris, Truth or Dare?" I say. "Dare." I can't help but grin on this one. "Tris, I dare you to take Christina's shirt off, make out with her, and lick icing from the Dauntless cupcakes off of her boobs." Tris just stares at me. Oh man did I fuck up. "Take the shot, Tris." I say. "You asked for it, cowboy." She mimics Christina. Do what? She is going to do it!? "Boy, what did I do to deserve all of this attention tonight?" Christina says. "Will you're going to have to come home with me tonight!" Will grins, "You better grab another cupcake then."

Tris walks up to Christina while holding a cupcake in her hand. Christina whispers in her ear just loud enough that I can make out what she says, "Let's give them a show they won't forget!" Christina swipes her finger through the frosting and offers her finger to Tris. Tris gracefully opens her mouth and lets Christina's finger enter. She gives a moan while sucking all the frosting off of her finger. I'm so going to need a cold shower. I can already feel myself growing. Christina takes the lead and presses her mouth to Tris. They both head to the floor. Tris straddles Christina and takes off Christina's shirt. They start to kiss some more. This time with more passion in their kiss. My pants get tighter. Christina lies back on the floor with her bra off. Tris smears icing over Christina's hardening nipples. Christina shutters at the cold icing. Oh god Tris… Tris leans down and slowly opens her mouth. Her tongue out like she is going to lick and ice cream cone. In one slow motion movement she licks icing from Christina's breast. She encloses Christina's nipple in her mouth. Christina moans, "Damn, Stiff. You're pretty talented with that mouth tonight." Tris grins with her mouth full of Christina. Tris and Christina break apart. "So how was it?" I say. "Delicious." Tris says with a sparkle in her eye. "I never thought of being a lesbian before right now!" Christina says. Tris laughs and gives Christina a quick hug from the side.

"Four," Tris says. "Oh no…I am not licking anything off of Zeke or anyone else for that matter!" I exclaimed. "Not happening!"

"Four," she says sweetly. "I found out something about you today. A lot of somethings really." She said. That sweet look is back on her face. The one I want to hold in both hands and make her mine. The look she gave me at the net. That look combined with that smart mouth…I can't resist her! "Like what?" I ask. "I'm not giving you the option of truth or dare." She glances at Zeke. "I want you to play me something."

"Play you something?" I honestly don't know what she means. Tris reaches across me to the guitar leaning against the side of the couch and hands it to me. I just stare into her eyes. I can't say no. Zeke must have told her. "Why don't you play her the song you just finished?" Zeke interrupted. "Zeke! I haven't even told her yet." I'm pretty upset he would do this. "I will play something else. How about the one we wrote together, Zeke, 'stranded'."

"What's the song you just finished? Why can't you play that one for me?" Tris's question deserves an answer. "Because I wrote it for you. I don't know if I should play it in front of everyone. It has too much meaning." I close my eyes and silently pray she says ok. "Please, Four, play me my song." Her gentle voice, her soft hand on mine is more than I can bear. It says all the words I can't find a way to say to her. I guess now really is as good a time as any. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Ok."

I scoot to the end of the cushion and hold the guitar in my left hand and let its curve rest on my right leg. Everyone is sitting around now. I have never had any problems playing in front of my friends but this is different. This song is a side of me that is only meant for Tris. I look at Tris sitting in front of me looking intently at me. She has no idea what I am about to say or the impact it will have.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

~~~Tris~~~

He wrote this for me. I don't know what is going to happen next but sitting here watching him with that guitar in his hands is very sexy. The way he starts to manipulate the strings. Controlling each movement. It sounds so beautiful. Then he starts to sing.

/At9DUFnQx50?list=FLumAYs7vU7K75HvdF3bqJ8w

What would I do without your smart mouth?  
>Drawing me in, and you kicking me out<br>You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down  
>What's going on in that beautiful mind<br>I'm on your magical mystery ride  
>And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright<p>

My head's under water  
>But I'm breathing fine<br>You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>'Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you, ohoh<p>

How many times do I have to tell you  
>Even when you're crying you're beautiful too<br>The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood  
>You're my downfall, you're my muse<br>My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues  
>I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you<p>

My head's under water  
>But I'm breathing fine<br>You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>'Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you, ohoh<p>

Give me all of you  
>Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts<br>Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>'Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you<p>

I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you, ohoh<p>

I can't hold back the tears. They are freely flowing down my face. Tobias' eyes just look into mine. Never breaking contact.

"You wrote that for me?"

"I did."

"You love me?"

"I do"

I glance away long enough to see Tobias setting the guitar down leaning it up against the side couch. I look back into his eyes. His dark blue eyes are now glassy. I just saw inside his heart. He wrote that song for me! I hear a few sniffles from behind me but all that matters right here and right now is sitting in front of me. I have to be near him I have to touch him. In a split second I am straddling his lap looking into his eyes. I'm breathless. He takes my breath away.

"I love you, too!" Our lips meet with the sound of a closing door. It is just us now.

"I didn't know how to tell you."

"That's the only way I would have wanted to be told."

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, Tobias."

Tobias presses his lips to mine. Not like he did with Christina. It is obvious to me now that it was a game to him. His touch is gentle but deliberate. He picks me up from where we are sitting and I wrap my legs around his waist. Still kissing he lays me down onto our bed and we slide back together. It is like we are one being moving in sync with each other. Like magnets. He moves, I move. I move, he moves. My head is spinning. I have never been so sure about anything in my life. My fear is gone. It is replaced with love. I love him. I do.

"Tell me again, Tobias."

"Tris, I have loved you since the moment you landed in my net."

"I love you, Tobias. More than you will ever know!"

Our kisses become desperate. Suddenly I want all of him and I want to give my all to him. Running my hands up his back, under his shirt, I can feel the goose bumps I created. My eyelids feel heavy and I can hardly breathe. His hands on my body are like electric shock waves that travel from my head to my toes. I never want this feeling to end. I am selfish. I want more.

I sit up and with his help I remove his shirt. He looks at me as if he is asking if he can remove mine. I help him. Our eyes lock and our shallow but quick warm moist breaths merge. When he lays me down and presses his body to mine I can feel him harden with each touch. I gasp when I feel him press into me. He closes his eyes and lets a moan escape. I reach down and unbuckle his belt and the button on his pants. Tobias pushes himself onto his knees and slides his fingers from my stomach to my waist band. He slowly unbuttons my pants savoring each moment as if he were opening a present. My heart races even faster as he slides my pants off and I lay there in the bra and panties that I just bought. "God, you are so beautiful Tris." The light from the living room shines through the crack in the door. I can see each indention of his muscles. I have to touch him. I want to and need to touch him. Almost eye to eye I am on my knees too in front of him on the bed. He kisses me and I run my hands from his shoulders down his chest. My eye lids become heavier as he kisses my neck and runs his lips gently over the ravens on my collar. His hands pause at the clasp of my bra. "Please" is all I can muster up to say. The cool air and warm breath collide across my chest. Tobias takes one breast in his hand and kisses the other. His lips part and I can feel his tongue circle my nipple. Slowly he takes it into his mouth and gently sucks. My lips part and I moan. I will myself not to but his touch is like nothing I have ever felt before. Our eyes meet and I see a deep hunger in his eyes. Desire and purpose. His eyes burning into my soul. I reach for his zipper and his hand lands on mine. "Are you sure?" he asks. "I have never been so sure about anything in my life. I want you." I unzip his pants and slowly slide them down. He helps me get them off and his lips meet mine. My eye lids get heavier and I have to lie down. He must feel it too as he slowly lays me down. The only thing separating us now is a thin layer of deep red lace. My eyes close tightly when I feel him hard and pressing up against me. He takes my hand and slides it down to him. I wrap my hand around him and he gives that deep throaty moan. "This is what you do to me." He whispers. I feel myself grow wetter. My body is pleading with me. I slide his hand over the lace that covers the most secret part of me. "Do you feel what you do to me, Tobias?" His breath hitches and his eyes close. "I need you." He says with a quiver in his voice and his hard length pressing up against my panties. It feels so good. "Take me." I say. He pulls my panties down and drops them to the floor. He is just outside my entrance. I am scared but his eyes pull me back in. Holding himself he rubs the top of himself over my slick entrance and up to what I now know is my clit. Slowly he circles himself around and around. My back arches and I grab the sheets in my fist. Moans escape my lips with sharp exhales. He moves back to my entrance and I part for him. I feel him gently push and I think I am going to explode. I want him so bad right now. I want all of him. My hips push toward him. Hovering over my face his breath sharp as he goes just centimeters farther. My breath hitches. I wouldn't say it is painful but a mix of pleasure and pain. "Be brave, Tris." He whispers. With that he slides into me further and further. He lets out a long throaty sigh and I take a deep inhale. Tobias is now inside me. All off him. Our bodies become tangle and he moves in and out of me. I can feel each muscle ripple beneath my fingers. In and out, our bodies rock. It hasn't been but ten minutes and I feel something building inside me. It is growing stronger and stronger. My body arches and I can't hold back my moans. My head tingles and my hands dig into his arms. "Let go, Tris. Let it happen." He says. Thrusting harder and faster into me I can't keep control. My moaning getting louder and my body shaking. I feel every sensation at once. Electric shooting through my body and a tidal wave flowing through every nerve in me. I push myself into him and pull him closer. It has taken over my body. "Oh god, Tobias"

My body shudders beneath him. I am finally able to open my eyes and see him smiling down at me. "That is the effect I want to have on you." He says. "I love what you do to me." I reply. He is still slowly moving in and out of me. The sensation lingers and every inch of my skin is alive. Tobias leans down and kisses me and starts to thrust faster and faster. I grab his hips and pull him into me. "It's time to see what I can do to you." I say rolling him to his back. This is the first time I get to see all of him. He is beautiful. Pulling one leg over him, he positions himself to enter me again. I lower myself on him. Oh god, he feels even bigger than before. I don't know what to do but my body takes over. I start to rock against his hips. His strong hands are on either leg guiding me. I lean down and kiss him. His tongue runs across my bottom lip and I open to let him enter. My pace quickens and I start to go up and down again and again. His hands roam my body and find my breasts. His right hand travels down and his thumb finds my clit. "OH, god!" He circles it again and again. I feel it start to grow. That sensation that left me not long ago is building back up inside. I sit back up and place my hands behind me on his thighs. My head tips back and my hair clings to my moist body. "Mmm, god, Tris." Tobias's breaths become closer and closer together. I can feel the muscles in his legs tense. His moans become harsher like grunts. "Fuck!" he says. His voice is all I need. The electric shoots through my veins and the tidal wave surges through every nerve in my body. His hands grasp my hip and pull me down hard onto him. He fills me completely, holding me against him as his body stiffens and he groans my name. We gasp for air and I fall to his chest. We are both breathless and sweaty. He kisses my forehead and we just lay there. His arms stay wrapped around me as we try to catch our breath. I can feel his heart pounding on my chest. I am sure he can feel mine. "I love you." He says. "I love you." I say. Silent moments pass by as we lay there together.

"Tris, I think we did good for our first time." He chuckles.

"Tobias, I think we did amazing." I smile against him.

"I love you, Six"

I give a small giggle, as much of a giggle as my exhausted body will allow.

"I love you, Four"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

~~~Tobias~~~

The sun rays start to come through the curtains the next morning. I never really lived before I met her. I just existed until then. I lie beside her and just watch her. Her breaths are even and steady. The peaceful look on her face reminds me of an angel. I brush the hair from her face and whisper, "I love you, babydoll."

It was worth waiting for. She was worth waiting for. Suddenly, I can't wait anymore. I run my hand down her side and over her curves. "Mmm" she moans in her sleep. I lightly press my lips to hers and she starts to kiss me back. I pull her in tighter and her fingers run up my back.

~~~Tris~~~

I can feel him hardening against me. Is it possible to just stay in this bed with him forever?

"Are you sore?"

I didn't notice until now. "Yes, I guess I am."

"We don't have to do anything right now. We can wait."

"Tobias?"

"Yeah, babe."

"Are you sure you were a virgin. How did you learn to move like that? Christina said our first time would be quick and I probably wouldn't enjoy it too much. She said it would get better over time but I can't imagine it gets any better than that."

"Tris," he laughs, "I _was_ a virgin. I had no idea what I was doing. I just went with it. You made me feel things I didn't think were possible. But I can ask you the same question. How did you learn to move like that?"

"I was just following your lead I guess." I'm so embarrassed but I was always told if you can't openly talk about it you shouldn't be doing it. "Your hands were guiding my hips. I did what felt good and when I heard you moan I knew it must have felt good so I kept doing whatever it was I was doing."

"How did you know what to do to that popsicle, Tris." He asked. "I know you were a virgin and I was your first kiss…but that…that was skill!"

"Girls talk, Tobias." I admitted. "The rest of it… I went by how much I was being turned on by it and how much I was turning you on. I'm glad no one could see what I could feel beneath your hand." I grin.

"Weren't you scared by that?"

"I was terrified!"

"It's amazing." He said

"What is?"

"Fear does crazy things to people. But it doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. I see it in your eyes. That's why I pushed you so hard in training. I just wanted to see it again." Tobias admitted.

"Two months ago I never dreamed I would not be in Abnegation. I always admired Dauntless. They seemed so free. I felt trapped in Abnegation. I felt suffocated. At the time, putting my blood on those coals seemed like the most selfish thing I had ever done. It may have been but it was the best decision I have ever made. I wouldn't be lying right here with you right now."

We lay in silence for a few minutes.

"Tobias, if we both stayed in Abnegation do you think we would have gotten together."

"Yes. But it would have been different."

"How so?"

"I'm sure we would have met at your initiation. It only took one look into your eyes for me to be addicted to you. I'm positive it would have happened there too. We would have worked together with the factionless. I probably would have even stolen a kiss. Our fathers are very influential people. They are both leaders of Abnegation. I'm sure your father would have gladly given me your hand."

"Marriage?" I am shocked that he was thinking of that.

"Yes, Tris, marriage."

We lay in silence a bit longer. I wonder what he is thinking. Would he really want to marry me? I know that I can't imagine myself with anyone else other than him. I don't know how to tell him what I remember.

"Why didn't you tell me you played guitar and sang?"

He kisses me on my forehead. "I can't give away all of my secrets at once. You may get bored with me." I can feel him grin.

"Do you have any secrets, Tris."

"I do."

"Go on."

"During initiation you knew I snuck out to train. But I also snuck out to do other things."

"Like what? Where did you go?"

"I had a few interests that I wasn't allowed to pursue being in Abnegation. Too self-indulgent."

"What are they?" he asked.

"I love to draw. I snuck down to the Chasm, where you first kissed me, and I drew all kinds of things. I would also sneak to the entertainment room where the bands practice."

"You play music!?"

"I love music, Tobias. It says everything I can't find the words to say. Music touches the deepest parts of people. It makes them feel things that otherwise would lay dormant inside them. Music can reveal things to people. I was shocked to find out you play guitar and sing. I mean, what are the chances that two Abnegation would have the same passions?"

"I learned to love music the minute I got here. Zeke is Dauntless-born and always played. He taught me how to play guitar. He took me in as his brother. He is the only one, before you, that really knew me. He knew I was from Abnegation because we were initiates together but he doesn't know my real name or about Marcus. We talk every day, though. He is the only family I have now."

"That's not true, Tobias. I am your family too." Tobias fights back a tear and gently kisses me.

"I know." He says and changes the subject. "So do you play anything or just go down and listen to music?"

"When you were in the bedroom with Christina and Will, it was the first time I heard live music other than at Abnegation services. Zeke played a song you both wrote together. It was amazing. I was instantly hooked. I learned how to play piano for Abnegation services but I was never allowed to learn anything other than the 'approved songs'." Something came across Tobias' eyes. I can't make it out. " I snuck out and played the piano and wrote songs of my own when I was still in Abnegation. Your father almost caught me once."

"What kind of songs did you write?" he ignored the mention of his father.

"I don't know. Mostly songs that was kind of depressing. I felt trapped and suppressed in Abnegation. I wanted to be free like the Dauntless. When I first got here I would lay down in bed and go over this melody over and over again. Every time I closed my eyes I played it in my head. That is when I started sneaking to the entertainment room. I never imagined Dauntless would have a piano. But when I saw it on the tour you gave us I knew I had to get in there. As initiation went on I started finding the words. I just didn't have the words until then."

"Will you play it for me?"

"I've never played _my_ music in front of anyone before. I only played at the meetings but they weren't my songs. I'm a little scared. I'm not as good as you are. You were amazing!"

"Did you know I do a lot of my writing here in the apartment?"

"No I didn't know that."

"Zeke's apartment is too small for a lot of his equipment. Since I ranked first I got a bigger apartment and it's farther away from people so I let his band practice here. Have you not gone into the spare bedroom?"

"No, Tobias. Until yesterday I wasn't aware I was living here so I didn't snoop through your things." I laugh.

"Well, it's your apartment now, too." He told me. Tobias got up from the bed and put on a pair of night pants and handed me one of his long t-shirts. "Come with me."

He walked me to the spare bedroom and opened the door.

"A piano?!"

"Yes. You can play it anytime you want."

"Oh my god, Tobias. That's…"

"Will you play me your song?"

"Actually Tobias, it is your song."

"You wrote a song for me too?"

"I did."

"Please let me hear it."

I walked over to the piano. I let my fingers glide over the keys as if caressing each one. Tobias pulled the bench out for me and I sat down. He leaned on the top of the upright piano onto his forearms.

"You know those muscles are distracting." I giggle.

"Are they now?" He smiles and flexes.

"I'm nervous."

"Be brave, Tris."

I take a deep breath and begin to play.

_(See link in Authors notes to hear Tris play for Tobias.]_

There's a song that's inside of my soul  
>It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again<br>I'm awake in the infinite cold  
>But You sing to me over and over and over again<p>

So I lay my head back down  
>And I lift my hands<br>and pray to be only Yours  
>I pray to be only Yours<br>I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars  
>Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing<br>and laughing again  
>When it feels like my dreams are so far<br>Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down  
>And I lift my hands and pray<br>To be only yours  
>I pray to be only yours<br>I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny  
>I'm giving You all of me<br>I want Your symphony  
>Singing in all that I am<br>At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down  
>And I lift my hands and pray<br>To be only yours  
>I pray to be only yours<br>I pray to be only yours  
>I know now you're my only hope<p>

I sit there still looking at the piano in silence. Still too afraid to move. I am supposed to be brave and I just exposed the most vulnerable side of myself. A side no one has ever seen and until now I wasn't allowed to have this side of me. I'm frozen.

Tobias places his finger on the side of my chin and pulls my face to look up to where he is standing. I see a tear run down his cheek.

"No one has ever loved me like that." He says as he lets another tear fall.

"Tobias…" I jump from my seat and wrap my arms around his shoulders putting my hands into his hair and bringing him to me. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him. We hold our embrace neither one of us wanting to let go. Tears stream down my face. Tobias pulls me back and wipes the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs.

"I love you, Tris. You are the only person I have ever loved. I will never stop loving you."

"I love you, Tobias. I prayed for you before I knew you." I sigh and look down.

"Tris, what's wrong?"

"When I learned your name, in your fear landscape, I remembered you. I remembered you from Abnegation. I was at your house. I was at your mother's funeral. I used to look at you during services. I was only 14 when you left. But I knew you. And I knew then that I wanted to know more about you. I should have known, Tobias. I rarely caught glimpses of you in the halls at school and never saw you out working. I should have known something was wrong. I could have done something." I cried.

"Tris, you couldn't have done anything to prevent what happened. But I knew you too."

"What?"

"It wasn't until I kissed you at the Chasm that it all clicked for me. I remember you at my mother's funeral. We were just small kids. My father used to talk about Andrew and Natalie Prior and their children. Until I heard your voice singing just now I didn't realized you were the Angel that kept me going. I looked forward to Thursday night meetings every week. You and your voice kept me strong."

"You knew me but I didn't know myself. I don't know who I am, Tobias."

"I know exactly who you are, Tris!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I am."

~~~Authors Note~~~

I can't believe I got over 1,000 readers in one day! You all are amazing. Your reviews really touch me! I was so afraid to share my stories with people. Thank you so much!

Please follow this link to hear Tris play for Tobias. I can't post a link so just delete all the spaces.

Tris' song to Tobias


	9. Author's Note

I am so sorry the links aren't working. These two songs really inspired this story. The page wont let me post or correct the links so I am going to have to try to be tricky here. I made them musical for several reasons. First, music has inspired me since I was a young kid. I play several instruments but wish I could sing! Second, there is nothing hotter than a musician! Third, Theo James "Four" is a musician and has a band named ShereKahn. You can see him sing on Youtube. He is awesome! Fourth, and last, music comes from the heart. It is an expression from your soul. Words are hard to come by but pouring your soul out into a personal creation says more than anything that can be spoken or written.

Four's Song to Tris can be found on Youtube. Copy this and delete all the spaces. youtu. b e /At9DUFnQx50?list=FLumAYs7vU7K75HvdF3bqJ8w

YouTube title of video: John Legend - All Of Me (Official Acoustic Music Video Cover by Corey Gray)

Tris's Song to Tobias can be found on YouTube. Copy this and delete all the spaces. youtu . b e /RLnEtBmNO30?list=FLumAYs7vU7K75HvdF3bqJ8w

YouTube title of video: Mandy Moore - Only Hope (Piano & Vocal Cover)


	10. Chapter 9

**~~Authors Note~~**

**Just want to apologize before hand. This chapter contains a lot of dialog. I just felt that there needed to be a lot of talking in this chapter to get the story moving in the direction it will be heading. **

Chapter 9

~~~Tris~~~

Tobias held me by the piano. His arms wrapped around my waist and my head tucked into his shoulder. I want to stand like this forever but I know we can't.

"I have a lot to do today, Tobias. I have to get my stuff from Christina and my apartment. Well, Christina's apartment. I'd like to get some food in this place and I need to go down and see the list of available jobs. I also need to go to the infirmary and get my injection scheduled."

I have no idea which job I will pick. Tobias wants me to train initiates with him. I know I want to do that but that takes 3 months out of the year. Ranking 1st in my initiation class I have first pick of jobs so I can do whatever I want to do. Now I just have to figure out what I want to do.

"Injection?" Tobias questioned. "What injection?"

"The injection all female injections get. You were my instructor. How do you not know about that?" I asked.

"Everyone gets injections but I didn't know they continued." He said.

"Yes, everyone does get injections but females get two. They said the first one, the one everyone gets, was to keep us in good health. The second one, the ones only the females get, is contraceptive. Pregnant initiates can't continue and it wouldn't be right to just send a pregnant woman out to be factionless. They strongly encourage us to take the injection even after initiation otherwise we wouldn't be able to continue to work. I'm definitely not ready to be a mom so I'm going to continue it. I have to get it in two weeks." I explained.

"How can I be so fucking stupid and careless?" Tobias said while running his hand through his hair. "I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't even think to protect us."

"Hey, I didn't think of it either. Luckily I had the injection and we are ok. But would having kids together really be that bad." I poke him.

"I never really thought of myself as a father. I mean I know someday I will get married and have a family but it was never really at the forefront of my mind. But no, having kids with you wouldn't be _so_ bad." He jokes back.

After our showers we both head to Christina's apartment. Tobias wouldn't let me carry my stuff by myself. I told him I don't have much. I just have some clothes and personal items. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I sat at home with a beer while my girl did all the manual labor?" he grins. "Not a very good one I suppose." I grin back.

Standing in front of Christina's door I find myself wondering if I should knock or if I should just open the door. It is still my place for now but I don't remember if I told her that Tobias and I moved in together. I decided to give a quick knock and slowly open the door and peak in. Shocked at what I saw I flung the door open.

"Christina!" I nearly shout. Christina jerks her head to look at me with absolute terror on her face.

"Oh, Zeke, no man!" Tobias says almost as if he was either disappointed or defeated.

Christina and Zeke were standing in the center of the living room embracing each other and kissing.

"Shit, I gotta get out of here." Zeke says. He walks past Tobias with his head down. He only momentarily glances up while passing him and putting his head back down. Once the door is closed I shout at Tobias while pointing to the door. "How could he do that to Shauna?" Spinning to face Christina, "How could you do that to Will?"

"Look Tris, you don't understand. Please sit down and let me explain this." She says.

"Christina…" I exhale. I know I over reacted. "Honestly, you don't owe me an explanation. It really is none of my business. I'm sorry for my reaction." I tell her.

"Tris, I'm going to catch up with Zeke. Leave those bags here. I will be back to get them later." Tobias tells me. "Seriously, Tris, don't touch them."

"Ok, I love you." He tells me he loves me too and quickly kisses me before rushing out of the door.

Christina ushers me to the couch and brings me a glass of ice tea. "Tris, in one moment my world crashed down around me and Zeke was there to pull me back up. I have always been attracted to him. I mean, he is so hot…." She tries to explain.

"Christina, that doesn't explain anything. Like I said you don't owe me an explanation. You are my very best friend. We have talked about stuff that I never thought I would ever talk about with anyone. I will love and support you no matter what happened. After all, we did share cupcakes." With that we both laugh and share a hug. "If you feel you need to explain or just get it off your chest, hun, I'm here! I will always be here, you know that!"

"Oh god, Tris. I don't know where to start." She says. "How about at the beginning." I tell her.

"Well…after Four sang you the song he wrote for you, which was so beautiful and romantic. I didn't know he had it in him!" I motion for her to continue with the story. "Anyways, when he sang you that song…I saw love. It hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I don't love Will. I realized our relationship was based on sex. It helped us both get through training. We needed each other for that time and when it was over…I just knew when I saw you two that I was just forcing myself to believe something that wasn't true." Christina chokes out the last sentence with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What happened next, I mean how did Zeke get involved in all of this?" By this time I was really curious.

"After I told Will how I felt he stormed out of here pretty pissed off. He told me he was starting to feel the same but he still left so angry. I moped around this place for a while but decided to take off after him just to make sure he was ok. I wasn't ok so I know he wasn't ok. When I found Will…uuuuh. Zeke was pulling him off of Shauna in the pit and punched him right in the face. I was so angry that he could seem so angry with me and then turn around and shove his tongue down someone else's throat."

All I could do is just shake my head and stare at Christina.

"Zeke saw me standing there with my fists balled up. He knew, since I just became a new Dauntless member, if I did anything to start trouble I would be put on warning. He grabbed my arm and made me come back home. I didn't want to be alone and I didn't want to interrupt you and Four. I asked him to stay a while until I could calm down. Zeke and Shauna were initiates together too. That's how their relationship started. He felt the same about Shauna as I did about Will but they had been together so long that he still had deep feelings for her. When he saw what she was doing with Will he just flipped."

"I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that, Christina. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But how did it get from staying a few hours to kissing in the living room early in the morning?"

"It is kinda sweet actually." Christina said. "It is hard to see Zeke as sweet," I laugh, "I mean Four has told me some pretty wild stories about Zeke. They have been best friends since their initiation together." I said.

"Well, is Four always the big tough guy we knew in initiation?" She asked.

"No, but if you tell him I said that I will have to kill you!"

"Well, I was crying and he motioned for me to lay my head on his lap. He brushed the hair from my face and just kept his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently, until I fell asleep. When I woke up he was still sitting there with his hand on my shoulder sleeping. He looked so peaceful. He must have felt me turn over to look at him. When he opened his eyes…our eyes immediately met. We started talking." Christina starts laughing, "He told me he was always checking me out and loved how feisty I am." She laughs again. "I was always checking him out too but always tried to divert my attention. I was with Will after all. I just felt like I was living a lie. You know I still can't handle that. I may be more Dauntless than Candor but it was how I was raised. I gave him a hug before he left to thank him for staying with me. I pulled back to give him a smile of thanks and he just bent down and kissed me. Tris, I have never been kissed like that. Four is a great kisser but I know he was holding back. When we were leaving I saw that passion between you and Four. Will and I didn't have that. Zeke and I do."

"I am really happy for you Christina. I mean like I said I'm sorry you had to get to this point like that but I really hope you and Will and even Shauna find a way to mend your friendships." I say.

I can't imagine seeing Tobias kiss someone else behind my back. It would be a complete betrayal. I love him so much that the thought physically hurts. Once Christina realized she never asked me how my night turned out I was bombarded with a million questions. I told her as much as I could but I wanted to keep some of it for myself. It was something Tobias and I shared together and telling her everything seemed like it would somehow cheapen it. I did my fair share of blushing, of course. Christina hugged me and told me over and over…and over…how happy she was for me. Her smile is so contagious. You just can't be sad when Christina is around. Zeke is right about her, though, she is feisty.

I made my appointment for next week and got some groceries for the house. I plan on making sure I make at least one meal at home every day for Tobias. In Abnegation we ate every meal at home and I enjoyed serving my family. I want to take care of Tobias. He is my family now and I am his. I want to make him happy in any way I can. I find myself always thinking of what he would want or what he would like. When you have something as special as Tobias you just want to take care of it and cherish every moment of it.

I jumped when I heard the door open and two thuds by the door. I was off in my own little world thinking about Tobias and putting the groceries away. Tobias walked into the kitchen as I was putting cans in the cupboards. "Hey, babe!" I smile at him. There is a look on his face that I can't place. He walks straight up to me and grabs me by my shoulders and pulls me in for a long and unexpected kiss. "What was that for?" I leaned back and asked. "Can't I kiss my girl?" He asks. "Of course you can but that was…different!" And it was. It was needy and raw.

Tobias sits on the couch and puts his head in his hands. "Babe, something is wrong talk to me." I plea. "Everything is going to be ok." He says. "Ok, Tobias you are starting to scare me. Did something happen with Zeke?"

"No, Zeke will be fine. For the first time in his complicated life I could actually put myself in his situation." He says. "What do you mean you could see yourself in his situation!?"

"Not like that Tris. Someone else…you…." He says shaking his head with his eyes closed. "Tobias, I would never do that to you. I love you too much. I want to be with you and only you."

"I know, Tris, I just get jealous. I'll get over it." He is trying to brush this off as if it is nothing. Something else has to be going on.

"Tobias, you are a man of few words. I always wonder what you are thinking or feeling. You have kept so much in for so long that you gotta trust me and talk to me. You're not in this life alone anymore so don't shut me out!" I scold him. He better start talking!

"It's true I do get jealous. I do feel a need to protect you even though I know you can handle your own but I have never had so much to lose before…."

"Why are you hesitating, Tobias?" What isn't he telling me?

"I didn't stay long at Zeke and Uriah's place. We talked about what happened and of course I was hounded about us…" Tobias grins.

"Where did you go?" Now I am worried. I will get back to asking him what he told Zeke later but for now he is starting to freak me out.

"I never wanted to be a leader in Dauntless. I never wanted to come face to face with Marcus again. I wanted to leave my old life behind me and start a new life. Then I met you and my old life and new life collided."

"Did I do something wrong? Is being with me bringing back too much pain for you?"

"God, no, Tris. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You're everything I ever wanted and everything I never knew I wanted. That's why I said I never had so much to lose. Max sent Harrison to find me. He called me into his office and told me about some stuff that is going on and asked me to reconsider leadership again. I wanted to say no. I wanted to because of my fears but I realized the fear of losing you trumps everything. I agreed to start leadership training Monday. I'm a leader of Dauntless." This is huge! Something big must be happening for Tobias to choose leadership. He loved working with the computers in the control room. For him to voluntarily choose to come face to face with Marcus again…I can't even think about it.

"Tobias, please tell me what is happening."

"Tris, I want to. Just, please, trust me…" he places his hand to the side of my face and I lean into it. "trust that I will tell you what you need to know, ok?" His eyes search mine. I don't know what to say to him.

"I trust you! With my life!" I assure him.

"I am going to know things, learn things, that you don't need to be burdened with."

"Just promise me that you won't let it consume you. You can talk to me. You can tell me anything. You know I will support whatever decision you think is right for us." That is, after all, the way I was raised in Abnegation. The man of the house does whatever is in the best interest of his family.

"Tris…I just don't even know what to say. I never thought of us as an Abnegation family. We are a team. But the fact that you would place me…you amaze me. Let me stress this point, Tris. I have a duty to Dauntless now. I am now a leader for everyone here and I have to do what is best for everyone. In our home we are a team. I am not better than you and your opinions and ideas have value to me. We are in this life together, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. Like you said before…it is hard to turn that switch off."

"Tris, you will keep some Abnegation ideals just like I have but trust me, babe, you _are_ Dauntless! You proved that at the party last night."

"Hey, maybe having another party soon would be good. Maybe it will help us both relax before you start your new job and I choose mine. I would probably do Zeke and Christina some good too."

"Yeah, you're probably right. It was a pretty good night." Tobias winks at me. "So have you thought about what job you might like?"

"I have a choice from anything from Leader to custodian. I have no idea what to choose. I have ruled out a lot though. I don't want to guard the fence. That seems pretty boring. I like the idea of being the girl of a leader so I don't want to be a leader. I thought about being a Dauntless Ambassador. I would be able to see my dad but then I would have to see yours and I don't think I can keep the peace that way. Maybe I could patrol the factionless sectors. It wouldn't be that different for me."

"I'd rather you not do that, Tris." Tobias says coldly.

"Why not?" Ok. Now he is being strange again.

"I just would rather you not." When Tobias is like this I know it is just best to let it go. I may be strong willed and can be pretty mouthy but the last thing I want to do is piss him off.

"It crossed my mind…naw…I will just think about it some more."

"No, what were you thinking of?"

"I thought about putting my art to good use and working with Tori in the tattoo parlor." It came out more like a question than a statement. I ranked 1st in my class and of all things I could do I want to be a tattoo artist. I just don't want to let anyone down.

"That's a great idea, Tris! You would be an amazing Ambassador but art is something you love to do. I support whichever you choose but I do hope you decide to be an instructor with me also. Max told me today I can still be an instructor and a leader and I will be training new instructors one evening a week until the next choosing ceremony."

I just don't think he is going to let that go. I wonder how long I can hold out until I tell him I already decided to be an instructor. I am so happy for Tobias and his new position as a leader. I never thought I would end up in Dauntless let alone sleeping in the same bed as their leader every night.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Well, compared to this morning. Tobias is working on a new song for Zeke's band. I could sit and watch him play that guitar for hours. Every so often he places his pick between his lips and writes something down in his notebook.

We ate dinner together at home. I bought a Dauntless cook book today and I really enjoyed making dinner for Tobias. He must have enjoyed it since he had seconds. We cleaned the dishes together side by side. We talked about everything. We talked about how he would touch me during initiation and try to play it off. He said he kept telling himself how stupid it was but confided his true feelings in Zeke. He told me he couldn't confide too much or Zeke would have pulled his man card. He makes me laugh so much. Sometimes I just sit and look at him and wonder how I got to be so lucky. Of all the girls in Dauntless…he chose me.

Our conversation turned back to initiation. I asked him if we were in the same class if he could have fought me like Peter had to. He told me he was a different person back then and couldn't even think about something like that. I told him he was a pansycake and I would have kicked his ass. He took that as a challenge and wrestled me to the ground. I put up a good fight though. In the end I realized I didn't want to win and let him pin me to the ground. He straddled me and held my wrists above my head. We laughed at each other while trying to catch our breath. Our eyes stayed connected. Seeing him over me sent chills all over my body. I resisted at first. Turning my head from side to side. Eventually I let him catch me and kiss me. So now I know. I call him _Four_, question his Dauntlessness, and challenge him. He needs to hold his cards closer to his chest.

This is our life. This is life with Tobias. I spent many nights in the dorms wondering how this mystery man lived.

Thank you all again for your continued support. Please like, follow, and leave me a comment. I will post Chapter 10 tomorrow when it is done. Love to you all!


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

~~~Tobias~~~

"FOUR!" I heard someone call from across the dining hall. I know that bastards voice anywhere.

"What the fuck do you want, Eric?" My patience with him is thin at the moment. I have get things squared away in the control room before I start in leadership. I wasn't scheduled back in the control room until after break but I need to get my station ready for a new member to take my place. After initiation is over I was supposed to get 2 weeks break but I start as a leader on Monday. Tris still has the extra week off but picks her new job Monday. I know how much she loves her art but part of me would love for her to work in the leadership department with me. She doesn't want to be a leader but there are so many jobs in the department she could take.

"Max wants you to come get the keys for your office so you can be ready to roll Monday. He also wants you to pick from the two empty executive apartments." Eric says…nicely. What the hell is with that?

"As soon as I wrap up in the control room I'll go see Max. I'd really rather not decide on moving. Don't know how Tris feels about it. And why are you talking to me as if you like me. You haven't gone soft on me have you?" I turn to walk away.

"No, you're still a stiff…"

"And you're still a dick."

"True. As much as I'm not thrilled to have to work with your ugly face every day," I turn to face him out of sheer curiosity, "we have to get along for the sake of Dauntless. We are on the same team now."

"Dauntless isn't divided into teams, Eric. We have always been on the same team. It doesn't mean we have to like our teammates." I say. "One of these days I'm going to shoot you full of truth serum and figure out how all of this started but for now I have work to do."

"Maybe you won't have to do that, Four. Meet me in my office after you talk to Max." Eric said reluctantly. "Why? Are ya gunna let me read your Hello Kitty diary?" I smirk. "Fuck you, Stiff." Eric grins. Apparently he couldn't deny that was a good one. "Naw, you'd like that too much but I hear there is a guy that works in maintenance that…." Eric punches me in the shoulder. "Asshole!" I punch him back harder, "Quit trying to pet me, Pussy!"

Part of me wanted to punch his teeth down his throat and the other part of me had some morbid curiosity about what his Hello Kitty diary says. It probably has a list of past and future homicides along with the long list of girls left in his wake. It's isn't hard to spot them doing the walk of shame through the Pit.

On my way back from the control room I ran into Tris and Christina. Tris looked more than thrilled to be drug behind Christina after another one of Christina's pre-party shopping excursions. Does that girl ever wear anything twice? She must plan on spending every point of her new member bonus.

"Hey, babe!" Tris says. I grab her around the waist with one arm and hold her face with the other hand kissing her. "I'd ask how your day is going but I can clearly see…" I motion to Christina. "Yeah." Is all she can say. After an embrace she asks how my day is going. "I'm getting ready to meet with Max to get my office keys and then Eric wants to meet up with me to read his diary." I snicker. "What?" she asks. "Never mind." I laugh. "Yeah…" Christina says, "what's up with you two. I thought you were about to make out or something." Tris looks to me waiting for an answer. "Why are you jealous, Chris?" I say. "Uuuh, men." She laughs. "I'll explain when I get home, ok babe, I love you." I kiss Tris's forehead. "I love you, too."

Max took me to my new office and gave me the key. He also gave me a set of master keys for the Dauntless compound. I got my user ID and set up a private password to access the system. I hadn't talked it over with Tris but I told Max I wanted to stay in my apartment. Being in leadership doesn't make anyone better than another. I already have a 2 bedroom apartment with a workout area. I could live in a box as long as Tris was with me. Ok, maybe not a _box_! I knew she wouldn't want to be far from our friends. I don't really want to be either I guess. I never had a family until now. Zeke has been a brother to me but now it feels like I have a complete family.

Here goes nothing. I knock on Eric's door. "Hey, come in." He says. I walk in expecting to see a coffin in the corner for nap time and bra's hanging from the ceiling but it actually looks like an office. He has a laptop on his desk and paperwork scattered around. "Sit." He says motioning to a chair across from his desk. "Want a beer?" he offered. "Sure." I sit down crossing my ankle over my knee. Eric hands me a beer. I control my urge to ask if he laced it with anything but right now this cold beer is heaven. "So why sudden urge for a confession, Eric?" I ask. "Four," he says running his hand through his hair, "I didn't want you in leadership. I know you're here because Max told you what is going on. I admire your bravery, Stiff. Not many people would step up like that." He says.

"I have a family now, Eric. I know you know my past. You have access to my records. I didn't run away from Abnegation like you think I did. I ran toward something." I say. "Don't you think I don't know that, Four? A coward would have stayed in Abnegation. A coward would have run to Amity. But you took a blood oath when your blood dropped in the coals and you always took this seriously. Erudite and Abnegation have never gotten along. Do you think I wanted some stiff to beat me? No one has ever beaten me. That's why I hate you. You have what I want." Eric confesses. I don't even know what to make of this. Eric sitting across from me is telling me, his enemy, a weakness. Never expose your weakness to your enemy.

"Natural born enemies or not, Eric, I could have liked you. Even though you are a dick. I was just trying to get through initiation and start a new life. I wasn't trying to compete with you or steal a spot from you. I had no intention of trying to take leadership away from you. Had you asked I would have told you I never wanted the spot." I took another drink of my beer. "I don't know what you want me to do with what you are saying. I don't understand the point you are trying to make with all of this. Is your confession supposed to make the past two years of hating each other supposed to disappear. Do you want an invitation to our party or something?" I laugh.

"Four…" his eyes search a void trying to find what to say or how to say what he wants to tell me. "Things happen in life that change your entire way of thinking. I don't know if you know that I have been seeing Zoey regularly. Most people think that I still…well you know what they think. Four, Zoey is pregnant." I'm actually quite shocked right now. I'm not shocked that Eric got some girl pregnant. I'm shocked that someone finally tamed him. Before Tris I was made of stone. He must love her.

"Things change, Eric. Since you are in the mood for confessions, Tris is the reason I joined leadership. I will stop at nothing to protect her. If that is the way you feel about Zoey and your child then I know you understand why I am here." I'm trying not to show my hand but Eric has already laid his cards on the table. His voice is still that stern and monotone voice so at first I had a hard time believing what he was saying but it all makes sense now. "We have the same purpose now but what does that have to do with me or this conversation?"

"I've seen a change in you since she got here. I know you will stop at nothing. Neither will I. You came in first. You are obviously good at what you do. Think of it this way, during capture the flag you and I were captains. We have always been against each other. One of us has to win and the other has to lose. When it comes to the current state of things I would rather align forces than be enemies. I hate, HATE, to admit that if we align there isn't a bastard out there that stands a chance." I have to agree. Eric may be a dick but now he has something worth fighting for. The same something I am fighting for. Dauntless is my home and Tris is my life. No one and I mean no one will take that away from me and if that means aligning with Eric I'll do it.

I stand and set my now empty beer on his desk and offer him my hand. "Truce." I say. He shakes my hand and nods. "Truce." He says. Opening the door to his office I turn back and say, "But you are still a dick."

"Yeah, and your still a stiff."

**~~~Author's Note~~~**

**This chapter was actually fun to write. I always wondered about Eric's private life. I figured he would be a womanizer and be all 50 Shades of Grey...hmmm :) However, I loved the banter between them during the first fight scene in the movie and wanted to incorporate that into this story. **

**Let me know what you think. I love hearing from you! Everytime I get an email with a review or a new follower I get as gitty as a school girl. And I am the farthest thing from a gitty schoolgirl. It wont be hard to figure me out. I put a little bit of myself in each of these characters. Feisty badass smart mouth mystery that even my husband of 13 years can't figure out :)**

**So, review, follow, or just message me what you think. **


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

~~~Tris~~~

I can't wait until Tobias comes home from his meetings. I knew he would have to work with Eric but Christina's comment is still playing in my mind. What did she mean by that? This feud has been going on between them long before I got here. Who am I kidding? Myself obviously. The moment he gets home he is going to take me straight to the bedroom. We have not been able to keep our hands off of each other since our first time after he sang to me. I'm not sure if Christina would high five our three-a-days or make me spill every detail. Some things are not sacred with her.

I'm not sure what time Tobias will be home so I decided to make dinner tonight and just keep it in the warmer. I'm sure after he gets home from Eric's he would love a hot meal and a cold beer.

"Hey, babe!" I smile. "I wasn't sure how late you would be so I cooked. It's in the warmer. Want something to drink?" I ask. "I can think of better things to do." That sinister smile still sets me on edge. "Tobias…" I can't continue. Tobias grabs me around my waist and pulls me into him with a little force and kisses me like it is his last kiss. His tongue brushes my bottom lip and I open to let him enter. I can feel my cheeks start to flush and my temperature start to spike. Warm sensations flood my body and a deep desire pulses within me. Tobias picks me up but we don't make it that far. He sets me down on the kitchen island as we fumble to remove our clothes. I can't get close enough to him. I want him closer but there are no gaps between us. Wrapping my legs around him, he kisses my neck and runs his hands up my back as I arch. "Mmm." He moans in my ear. It sends a shock wave through my body. Tobias leans me back onto the counter top and kisses his way down from my neck to my chest. He pauses to pay special attention to my hardening nipples. I moan his name and he continues kissing down to my naval. When he stands up he brings my ankles to his shoulders continuing his kisses from my ankles to my knees and as he passes my knees he uses his tongue to lick and kiss his way up my thighs. "Uhh, To..b..i…" I start to say but he pulls away. "Tris…quiet. Don't say a word. If you talk I will stop." He says with his instructor voice. I don't want him to stop. Please don't stop, I beg in my mind. Tobias continues to kiss his way closer and closer to where my heat is radiating. I don't know what he is going to do when he gets there but at this point I don't care. I can feel his warm breath on me. My hips thrust gently toward him. "Don't move, Tris." Still in his instructors voice. I can't release my ecstasy with my voice, which I can't control, and I can't move even though that is beyond my control as well. "Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you that you are aloud. Do you understand, Tris?" I can't think. I can feel his warm breath over my most sensitive area. "Do you understand, Tris?" He repeats in a firmer voice. I know this voice. I know I better comply. "Yes, Tobias." Is all I can muster up the energy to say. I close my eyes and feel a warm soft sensation. It starts out gentle and feels so amazing I open my eyes and look down to see Tobias with his mouth on me. "Close your eyes, Tris, or I will stop." I tip my head back and close my eyes. Tobias starts out so soft and gentle but slowly builds up and quickens his pace. I feel his finger at my entrance and I beg and plead in my mind for him to enter. Slowly one finger enters and glides its way to the core of my desire. I can't help but move my hips to his rhythm but as quickly as I do he stops. "You don't listen very well do you , Tris? I said hold still, don't move or make a noise or I will stop." I am not afraid. I don't care what his intentions are for me. Right now all I want is more. Lots more. Tobias starts back up but adds a finger. He starts thrusting and gliding his tongue over my clit. I feel myself start to build. I can feel myself tighten around his fingers. I have to scream, I have to thrash my hips around. I try to control myself because I do not want him to stop…ever! I run my fingers through his hair in an attempt to keep him there but he uses his free hand to hold my hands to my stomach. I can't talk, I can't move, I can't touch him. Tobias thrusts faster and harder with his fingers, licking and circling me with his tongue. I can't contain myself. I am helpless to his touch. My eyes are closed so tightly that I see all the stars in the heavens. I can't hold it back, I can't. I'm about to… Tobias stops and starts kissing my thigh. He runs his hands up to my breasts and gives a gentle squeeze. Why is he doing this to me? "Please, Tobias." "Please what, Tris?" "Don't stop. Please don't stop." "Why, do you want to cum on my fingers?" "Yes. Yes, Tobias…Please!" He slowly enters his two fingers back to where I throb. I arch my back at the sensation of his mouth returning to me. "Don't cum, Tris." He says. Why? Why can't I? I need to let go! I can feel myself tightening around his fingers again while my slickness coats him. "Please." "No." I try everything I can not to. "Please." I beg again. "Ask me." "Please Tobias can I? Please let me cum." "Of course, babydoll, anything for you." He says sweetly. With that my muscles tighten. My eyes roll to the back and my toes curl. A wave of warmth explodes inside me and I writhe in ecstasy. Tobias slows his movements and begins to run his fingertips from my knees to my hips and up over my stomach. The sensation causes my insides to contract. I lay there on the counter top nearly hyperventilating as I try to catch my breath. My heart pounds and I couldn't open my eyes if I wanted to. That was by far the best thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Slowly opening my eyes I see Tobias standing there between my legs. His shirt is off, his belt hangs open, his pants unbuttoned and he has that grin on his face. It is the sexiest sight I have ever seen.

"What was that?" I say breathlessly. Tobias takes my hand and pulls me up. "That was fun. That's what it was." He snickers. "You're amazing, _Four_." He gives me that throaty groan and pulls me into his embrace. "Come on lets go get a shower. It turns out _you_ are a dirty girl."

Tobias and I spend the rest of the night in each other's arms. He tells me about leaving the Control Room and how it was bitter sweet. He describes to me his new office and nudges me when he tells me how his desk is pretty big. I giggle and push his shoulder. I ask him about his meeting with Eric and he rolls his eyes. He explains that since they will both be leaders it is best for Dauntless if they call a truce and end their outward expression of hatred. I am glad I won't have to watch them puff their chests and battle over who is more masculine. It's obviously Tobias!

It wasn't until I woke up the next morning that I realized I fell asleep. Tobias and I had the most passionate night last night. I am still in a daze. I threw on one of Tobias' t-shirts and went to pour a glass of orange juice. I stood there, up against the fridge running my finger over my lips remembering the kiss that started the night. I just stare at the counter where Four came over to play. I replay the events over in my mind and feel the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Hey." Tobias says. "Hey." I say smiling being brought out of my trance. He glances at the counter and back to my red cheeks. "What were you thinking about?" He tips his head slightly to the side and grins with that downward turn of his mouth. "I'm thinking that no amount of bleach is going to remove that memory from that counter top." I shake my head. "Really, Tris, what _were_ you thinking doing all of that last night. Our friends have to do shots off of that counter in 8 hours." He says walking toward me. "So, Tobias, do you think you could leave for a few hours?" I say. "Why?" His brows come together. "Because my lover, Four, is coming over." He puts his hands on each side of my face and leans down to me. Just before he kisses me he says, "I love dirty Tris."

"Saved by the door!" I laugh. "Go get a shower, Tobias, you stink. I'll get the door."

"Did you expect me to smell like roses after working out?" he said. "I'd be more worried if you did smell like roses, _Four_!" Tobias gives a throaty groan as I slip through his hands and squeal toward the door. I peek out the door and see that it is Christina. "Hey, cupcake!" I grin and give her a hug. I assume she wants to go shopping since we are having a party tonight. I'm sure the hours of shopping we did yesterday will mean nothing. "Are you here to go shopping, Chris?" I said with a groan. "Actually I came to ask you something. Did you invite Will to the party?" She asks with a painful look on her face. "No, Chris, I would never do that to you. We didn't invite Will or Shauna. Is everything ok with you and Zeke?" A smile starts to form and it reaches her eyes. "Oh, Tris, you have no idea! Zeke is amazing. I have never felt like this before. I am scared out of my mind!" Christina admits. We sat on the couch while I listened to her go on and on about Zeke. I am just so happy for her that I let her ramble on until Tobias came out of the bedroom.

"What's up, Chris." Tobias turns to the fridge to grab a drink. "Nothing much…I guess." She says carefully. "Cool. What are you guys going to get into today?" He says. Christina turns to me, "Why is he being nice to me?" She turns to Tobias, "Why are you being nice to me?"

"I didn't realize I wasn't being nice before." He said. "Really…Four?" Tobias chuckled and said, "Chris, I'm not your instructor anymore. In the beginning of initiation I never expected to be friends but I never would have treated you different had I known. Tris cares about you and so does my brother so you must not be _that_ bad, Candor."

"What do you mean your brother? Did he say something? What did he say, Four? Tell me everything." She begged. Tobias grinned, "I know nothing Christina…bro code!"

The next few hours went quickly. Tobias went to hang out with Zeke for a while. I told him Christina and I could handle getting things set up for the party and shooed him out the door. Chris and I danced around the kitchen while cooking up snacks for everyone. She hounded again about how things were going with Tobias and I. Up till now all I could do is grin and shake my head. "Come on Tris. I have been rooting for you two so spill it." Christina said leaning with her forearms on the counter top. "Well, Christina. I'll tell you this. You might not want to lean there." Christina's reaction was priceless and I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my god, Tris! You let me lean in the aftermath of your sexcapades." She scrunched her face. "Oh come on Christina. You think I wouldn't clean that?" I laugh. "I will never look at you the same Tris… but not in a bad way. I'm so happy for you!"

I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I told Christina how Tobias took charge. I told her my fear landscape was all about me losing control but when Tobias was so dominant I was putty in his hands. I told her how exciting it was that when he had complete control over me I knew I was his and his only. "Wow!" Chris said. "I always knew there was a freak in Four, But you Tris? I called you as a missionary princess." She laughs. "Told you I was Dauntless, Cupcake." I smiled.

Soon all of our friends were sitting around our apartment. Zeke and Tobias were playing their guitars and singing 'Nothing Like You'. It was obvious to me that Tobias wrote this song. Uriah was setting up a bunch of shots with Marlene. She hung on his every word and nudged him and giggled. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. Before long we all had a few drinks and were feeling pretty good. Christina turned up the stereo and pulled me up to dance. We started making everyone get up and let loose. I swayed my hips and put my hands in the air. I could feel the bass pound through me. It took some convincing but I got Tobias on the dance floor. He always tells me he isn't a dancer but he is really good at it. The fast pace music was loud and thumpin' but our bodies were pressed close together and swayed with the music. Our hips moved together as one. "Hey, everyone!" Uriah yelled while turning down the music,

"Who's ready for a little game?" He says. Everyone chimes in with approval. "Why don't we start out playing a Candor version of Truth or Dare?" Christina says. "We do it for one round then we can go into another game, any game. Candor only plays truth. We go around the room asking questions and we have to tell the truth. If I go first I pick one person and ask them three questions. If they refuse to answer then being dauntless we can come up with a punishment. We normally play this with Truth Serum but we can change it up a bit." She explained.

"I like it." Tobias said. Everyone agreed but made a few changes. Christina will go first and pick a person. The rest of the group will get together and come up with three questions to ask. If that person refuses to ask a question they get a punishment that will be decided by the group.

"Four." Chris said. The group got together and decided on the first question. Christina and Zeke already knew that answer but they asked it anyways. "Are you a virgin?" I could see Lauren give Tobias a look.

"No. Next." He said. "How many times have you had sex?" She asks.

"Today?" he asked. Everyone busted out laughing. "Sure, today." Tobias looks up and to the right with his eyes as if he is thinking. "Three but hopefully four." He grins and nudges me. "Or five." "Holy shit, man!" Zeke says slapping Tobias on the back.

"Last question better make it a good one." He says. "Why did you join leadership?" She asks. His head snaps up and his eyes go cold. She realizes that no matter what answer he gives it will be the right one and she won't question it. "Why wouldn't I? I am Dauntless. Now I have a family to protect." Motioning around the room. Everyone goes quiet. This isn't like Four. He has never shown anyone any emotion except for Zeke and me. I reach over and touch his hand and give it a little squeeze.

We continue around the room finding out Marlene has a crush on Uriah. When Peter was a small boy he wanted to be a bus driver. Christina's fantasy is to have sex while zip lining. Zeke announced, out of turn, he wants to go zip lining. Al's biggest fear is bee's. Zeke said if he was dared to kiss Tobias he wouldn't be a pansycake.

"Lauren." Zeke said. "I'm going to ask you all three questions at once. Who is your crush and why? Have you acted on it?"

"What would my punishment be?" She asked. The group whispers. "If you choose not to answer you have to get completely naked, smear cake all over your body, find Eric and ask him if he is ready for dessert." Zeke stated.

"Four." She whispered with her head down. "Who?" Zeke asked. Lauren looked up and locked eyes with me and said, "Four." The room fell silent. Tobias must have noticed my body tense at my sudden urge to beat her ass because he placed his hand on my leg. "Why?" Zeke asked. "Because I admire him. He worked his ass off to get where he is today. He is determined and focused and was willing to help me when no one else would." She admitted. Zeke looks at me and back to Lauren. "Have you acted on it?" he says. "I thought about it. I was going to tell him after training the initiates one day but I saw how he looked at her. He loves her and she loves him. They are perfect together and no one could ever be better for them than each other." Tobias leans over and kisses me on my temple.

It was Laurens turn to pick someone. "Tris." Tobias's back straightens. "Do you hate me now?" If I knew her better I would say her face was one of fear. "Lauren," Tobias squeezes my leg letting me know he is still there. "I want to hate you, I really do, but I don't blame you for it. He is amazing and everything you said he is. Don't get me wrong," I chuckle, "He is mine and since I left Abnegation and chose Dauntless it should be obvious that I am selfish and I don't share." Tobias gave that sexy downward turn of his smile.

"When did you know you loved him?" She asked. "This is going to sound so wrong but I don't remember falling in love with him. Part of me feels like I have always loved him. Even before I met him."

"If he were to ask you to marry him right now what would your answer be?" Tobias quickly looked at me and it seemed everyone in the room perked up. They had been listening intently at our conversation but now it's like a train wreck they can't look away from. "I'd say," I looked up at Tobias who was still looking at me. Our eyes locked. "Yes." His lips smash into mine and I can feel his smile on my lips.

The night just got better from there. We partied until three o'clock in the morning. I barely remember straddling Tobias on the couch and kissing every inch of his face. He laughed and tried to pull me away. The warm liquid that once burned going down is surging through my veins causing me to be very brave. I sat on Uriah's back while he proved a bet with Marlene that he could do 20 push-ups with me on his back. I put my arms out like I was flying and said, "weeee" all the way up.

"I better put her to bed." Tobias said laughing. "Oh, Mr. Party Pooper, I would have gone to bed with you willingly. You are soooooo sexy, you know that? Ooooh feel those muscles. You're so strong." I slur while I sling my arms around Tobia's neck and he carry's me to the bedroom. "Yes, Tris, I get it, big strong man." He says kissing my temple. "I like your lips, _Four_. You are so yummy!" Tobias laughs, "Yummy?"

"Yes, yummy. Yuummy. Yuuummy. What a funny word."

"You're not going to remember much of this in the morning, Tris, but I promise I will remind you." He says.

As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

**~~~Author's Note~~~**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews, follows, and favorites. It means so much to me. Every time my e-mail dings with new fanfiction notifications I get a smile plastered on my face. Please continue to review. You all are my motivation. When I get reviews I want to make sure to get another chapter up right away. ****_Maevy Baby_****...thanks for your amazing review! I try to sit and write every night. Sometime during the night I usually upload. It is rare that I skip a night but when I do I try to make sure the next chapter is a long one full of yummy goodness. So, to answer your question I guess I would say I update daily or every other day. I hate reading and following a story and waiting weeks to get an update. I have to end up going back and re-reading the last few chapters to refresh my memory. Like you, I read a lot :)**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

~~~Tris~~~

Monday came so fast. Today I have to choose my place in my new life. I've made a lot of choices so far. I flip back and forth between working with Tori and following a passion or working in Leadership as an Ambassador. My reasoning for Ambassador is so I can see my parents. If I get to close to them I could be tried as a traitor…or worse, they could be. I think I have my decision.

Tobias starts work today as a Leader. He spent last week training for his new position. He said it was boring and tedious work. They taught him the rules for the meetings and the structure on which Dauntless is built. We value ordinary acts of bravery and protecting those who need protection. We protect those who cannot protect themselves. We create order in chaos. We are the police, the military, the prison system and the executioner. We are brave and fearless. We train soldiers. Tobias takes this very seriously. It was apparent in initiation but as a leader he is fierce. He is the type of man who when he takes a step toward you, you take a step back. To the outside world he is the legendary Four. Zeke told me, "Four is to Dauntless as Harry Potter is to Hogwarts." He is the poster child for Dauntless. He is everything a Dauntless leader should be; brave, strong, and mysterious. When he stands in public his body is stone. He is an unshakable force. He is quiet and his eyes hide mysteries and knowledge that no one can break into. People look up to him and admire him. They trust him to train initiates to be their soldiers, to be one of us. At the ceremony they will find out he is a leader. He is Four.

When I look into his eyes I can see them soften if even momentarily in public. At home he is Tobias. He feels and loves. I watch him from the kitchen. I watch him in deep thought with the eyes of stone. I wonder what he is thinking. I watch him write music and feel my soul pull toward him. When he is writing, his body softens; he told me he puts a piece of himself into each song. Tobias once told me one of the parts of me that he loves is that I am the only person who doesn't take that step back. I step forward. I broke down his wall. No one will ever know him like I do and there is still so much to learn. He never lets his guard down with anyone, except me and still I don't think he lets everything out. He is protective of me and in control of himself. I know he can hurt me at any given moment but I also know he wouldn't. He loves me. I still don't know why. He could have any girl in Dauntless but he chose me. I'm nothing special.

When he comes home at the end of the day I always ask how his day went. He always tells me about interacting with others or some outline of his day but never anything he learned that day. He keeps me away from the harsh reality of what lies beyond the fence or in the streets. He told us in initiation that he trains us the way he does so that when something happens we will be ready and will not hesitate. We prepare for the worst and expect no different. Dauntless are wild and carefree. The pit is chaotic. However, when we are called to action we are all ready and have each other's backs. We are a family. Faction Before Blood. I would give my life for any one of them. That is what Tobias instilled in us.

A knock at the door pulls me back to reality. Tobias came home for lunch and told me he didn't have to go back until the Dauntless Choosing Ceremony after dinner. He was sitting on the couch finishing a song. He said Zeke is playing it tonight at the party. After every new member class chooses a job within Dauntless, Tobias told me Dauntless throws the biggest most hard core party of the year.

"I'll get it." Tobias leans his guitar up against the couch and heads to the door. "Hey, come in." I hear him say. I come around the corner to see Zeke standing there with his hand running over the top of his short hair. "He did it. Of all days he did it." Zeke says. "Shit." Tobias says shaking his head. Zeke just looks at Tobias in shock and anger. "I gotcha bro, you know that." Tobias says. "Are you sure, Four?" Zeke sounds shocked. "No one knows you're the man behind it all." Zeke says. "I like my privacy very much so but we aren't going to start letting each other down now." Tobias and Zeke share a fist bump. It makes me so happy that they have each other. They have a bond that goes deeper than brothers. They have been through a lot together like Christina and I have. They have an unspoken loyalty. They can fight with each other but if someone else says something about the other then there will be hell to pay. "Grab the amp," Tobias says, "I'll get my guitar. Good think I know the songs." They both laugh.

"Care to fill me in?" I ask. "Jason quit the band today. Zeke needs someone to cover lead guitar for tonight. Since I know all the songs I said I'd do it." Tobias explains. Tobias is going on stage in front of all of Dauntless and playing in Zeke's band? There is something scary about that…but sexy at the same time! "Just curious but who else is in the band?" I ask. "Well, Jason _was_ lead guitar and backup vocals. Zeke is lead vocals and rhythm guitar. Shawn plays bass and Randy plays drums. They are brothers. They are both pretty awesome. Randy's set has a double bass. It's pretty bad ass. Sometimes the guitar tech, Zach, comes in and plays rhythm to give Zeke a break during some songs but that's rare. They also have a few stage crew that are behind the scenes setting up and tearing down. Uriah is one of them. The other two are Aaron and Cody. I've worked with Cody before so he is going to be my tech tonight so you will meet him soon." Tobias almost has a spark in his eye when he is talking about all of this. I have to admit I don't know half of what he is talking about but it sounds so interesting.

Zeke and Tobias practice for a few hours before Aaron and Cody come up to get the rest of the equipment Tobias will need. "Just the black one?" Cody asks. "The black one?" Tobias says. Uh Oh…that's his instructor face and tone. Poor Cody this isn't going to be good. Cody looks at Tobias with a little fear in his eyes. "Is that how you are going to pick your weapons during initiation next year, Cody? You want the black one? It's a Les Paul and yes just that one." Tobias said a lot of musicians use more than one guitar during a live show but he knows 'her' inside and out. "Cody," Tobias says to get Cody's attention before leaving, "Put the Wah-Wah on the board first…you know…the _red_ pedal" Zeke busts out laughing. "He's just giving you a hard time, Cody, your cool."

I sit next to Tobias. These may be the last few minutes I get to spend with him tonight. "Why were you mean to that boy?" I ask. "He will be less likely to mess up now won't he? Besides there is a chance I could be his instructor next year." I just look at him. "It was still mean." I said coldly. "Tris, everything I do is for a purpose. I have a good reason behind everything I do. Just trust me." He says. "I do trust you, Four." I use 'Four' since Zeke is still here. "I may not like what you said to him but I do trust you." He kisses to top of my head. "I know, Tris.

We sat with our friends at dinner. There was a sense of brotherhood in the air. We finally felt like we all belong here. Even though we are officially members of Dauntless, we are about to pick our place in our new society. This is home.

We are having hamburgers tonight. Christina told the story of our first meal here. My first hamburger. Everyone got a good laugh at my expense. I elbowed Tobias in the ribs when he started laughing with them. "What? It's the reason you came here right? For the food?" He laughed. "You're an ass, Four!" I shoved him. It only made him laugh more. By that time everyone at our table was laughing, even me. "That was the night you challenged me." He said. "Well, you are as approachable as a bed of nails!" We all started laughing again. "Christina said I had a death wish." I added. "You do, Tris!" she stated. "I was curious about her from the minute she landed in my net. I didn't even jump first. But when she challenged me I became intrigued. I wanted to see how far I could push her." Tobias had a glint in his eye remembering back to what seemed like so long ago. He turned to me and wrapped his hand around my chin and kissed my lips. "I love that smart-mouth." He said. "But I have to get up to Max's so we can start the ceremony. Good luck! See you in the Pit." With that he headed out of the dining hall.

"New Members to the front." Max started. The Pit erupted in cheers and fists pumping in the air. "Before the ceremony begins…We have a new leader to swear in." I didn't know this was going to happen! "Our new leader is," Max pauses, "Four!" He shouts. The crowd erupts into screams and fists pumping. Dauntless respect their leaders and pledge to carry out the duties that they set forth. Everybody knows Four here. He is a legend with only four fears. Most people look up to him and respect him for that. I catch a glimpse of Tobias walking up the steps of the stage and taking his place beside Max. They face each other. Eric comes forward with a bowl of hot coals. Christina and I glance at each other before turning our undivided attention to the stage. "Four," Max begins. Tobias places his clenched fist over his heart. It is a sign of respect to a Dauntless leader. "When you chose Dauntless you left your mark of blood on these coals. You pledged your allegiance to Dauntless." The crowd erupts again. Tobias keeps his eye contact with Max. In this moment I am in awe of him. I can't believe he is mine. I am so proud that I am his. "As a leader to you pledge to uphold the beliefs of this faction?" Max asks. "I do." Tobias answered. "What are the beliefs that you will uphold?"

"I believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices. I believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. I believe that justice is more important than peace. I believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions. I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. I believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us. I believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort or happiness or even our sanity. I believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. I believe not just in bold words but bold deeds to match them. I believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because I believe in action. I do not believe in living a comfortable life. I do not believe that silence is useful. I do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands. I do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence. I do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by." Tobias's voice gets louder, "I do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery!"

All of Dauntless is booming with the sounds of the crowd. Tobias just repeated the Dauntless Manifesto!

"Four, are you ready to prove your bravery?" Max asks. I look at Christina who is now looking at me. Worry fills both of our eyes. What are they going to make him do? "I am." He answers. Tobias opens his jacket and lifts his t-shirt to his neck. He stands there tall and proud looking forward to Max. Max reaches down and pulls a hot iron from the coals and pushes it to Tobias's left chest near his heart. I gasp and look at Christina and she grabs my arm. Tobias stands there like feathers are being brought to his skin and not a red hot branding iron. He is completely unaffected by what I can only imagine is searing pain. Max removes the iron and sets it back into the coals. He turns to face the crowd. I can see on his chest a circle with flames inside. Everyone puts their clenched fists over their heart. The new members, including myself, follow suit. "FOUR!" Eric shouts. "FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR." The crowd continues to chant.

Four raises his hand and a hush comes over the crowd. He and Eric stand side by side. Eric holding a clip board with paper on it. Beside him is a board with numbers and keys. Tobias takes a step forward. "New Members, I am no longer your instructor. You will be called up here according to your rank. You will then select a job and receive keys to your apartments. Choose wisely. Ranked first," a picture of me comes up on the screen behind him, "Tris." For a second I see that glint of pride in his eye before he quickly recovers. I walk up on the stage in front of Eric. On the clipboard is a list of jobs. I take my pen and write my name beside Instructor and Tattoo Artist. Eric announces my choices to the crowd and they cheer for me. I finally belong. "Your apartment," Eric asks, "pick." I look at the board when I feel a hand on my shoulder turning me around. It is Tobias. He is holding a key ring off of his first finger. I look into his eyes and he drops the key into my open palm. I already live with him. He must be making a statement to everyone in this room. I fold my hand around the key and give him a grin. He grins back with that sexy downward turn of his mouth. With that the crowd goes crazy. As I am walking to the steps of the stage my eyes find Lauren. I try to act like I don't see what her expression is saying as I walk back to my friends.

2. Uriah-Control Room-Apartment with Zeke.

3. Lynn-Factionless Patrol-Apartment with Shauna.

4. Marlene-Initiate Processing, Leadership Office Support Staff-Apartment with Christina.

5. Peter-Weapons Room-Apartment with Al.

6. Will-Gate Guard-Single Apartment.

7. Christina-Shop Owner-Apartment with Marlene.

8. Zach-Musician, Compound Security-Single Apartment

9. Rita-Factionless Patrol-Single Apartment.

10. Al-Weapons Room-Apartment with Peter.

**~~~~Author's Note~~~~**

**Again, Thank you so much for the love and support! I love your reviews! As promised here is my update for tonight. I will have another one tomorrow night. I am writing the party scene now. And let me tell you...Four is HOT on that stage with his guitar in his hands...if only in my own mind :)**

***The Dauntless Manifesto in this Chapter does not belong to me. It belongs to Veronica Roth. Giving credit where credit is due! 3**


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

~~~Tris~~~

"Are you ok?" I ask Tobias as he walks up to me after the Ceremony. "I'll be fine." He says as he leans down to kiss me. "Why didn't you tell me they were going to do that to you?" I asked. "Would you have tried to stop me?" He asked back. "Would it have made a difference?" I laugh. "No, I supposed not." He laughs with me. "Hey, I gotta get backstage to get ready. Grab a Christina and head up there." He points. "It is going to get pretty hectic and crazy down here. That area is reserved for the band's family and friends. And Tris," He brushes my cheek with his hand and kisses me, "Grab a drink and relax. You deserve it. I am really proud of you, ya know. First place is kind of a big deal around here."

"I can't take all the credit, I had an amazing instructor!" I kiss him back. His grin reaches his eyes. "I love you, Tris." "I love you too, _Four_!" He growls and picks me up around my waist kissing me hard. When we pull away we both smile at each other. Our lives together have officially began.

Christina and I head up to the reserved area in the pit with a drink. We confess to each other that we are really nervous for this party and for Zeke and Four. The lights in the Pit start to dim and while the blue lights along the wall create a glow. I can't believe how many people are packed in here. All of Dauntless came to the Ceremony, even the small children. Now that the party is in full swing and the drinking as begun, I don't see any children here anymore. When the Pit lights are down low the stage lighting kicks on. Red, blue, green, and white lights swirl around the stage. Eric walks to the center of the stage with a mic and shouts. "Dauntless are you ready!?" Dauntless explodes! "Here they are, our very own, TRAINED. TO. KILL!"

A voice comes over the mic that says, "On drums….RANDY!" A man runs out on stage and takes drum sticks out of his back pocket. He stands on an amp at the front of the stage screaming. "On Bass…SHAWN!" Shawn comes out and plays a 10 second bass solo then raises his fist in the air. "On Lead Guitar…FOUR!" The crowd looks shocked but starts screaming. Four comes out and takes his place on the left side of the stage and plays a 10 second solo. His fingers were moving so fast I don't see how they didn't get tangled. "And your front man, on Vocals and rhythm…ZEEEEEKE!"

Zeke runs to the middle of the stage with a mic in his hands. "Are you ready to party?" He yells. The crowd cheers. "I can't hear you. I said are you ready to fuckin' party!?" The crowd screams. "Why do all of you get a beer? Someone throw me and my friends a beer." Someone from the crowd throws a beer to Zeke. He catches it and holds it up to offer it to Four. Four holds up his hand toward Zeke to accept the beer and catches it with ease. They pop the caps off of their beer and all take a long drink. Four sets his down on the wooden rise that the drummer is on. "How about we start off with the Dauntless Anthem written by our very own FOUR!?" The crowd starts chanting, "Dauntless, Dauntless, Dauntless."

Four starts the song with a guitar intro. It is amazing! He stands there with his right foot back and his left foot forward. His shoulders slightly hunch over the guitar hanging by his hip. Soon the drums and bass join in with Zeke on his guitar. Every time the bass drum pounds, his body goes forward and then back in time with the beat. Zeke begins to sing.

Down in the depths of my fiery home  
>The summons bell will chime<br>Tempting you and all the earth  
>to join our sinful kind<br>There is a job to be done and I'm the one  
>You people make me do it<br>Now it is time for your fate and I won't hesitate  
>to pull you down into this pit<p>

So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<br>So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<p>

_(Everyone is jumping up and down with their hands in the air singing along with the song.)_

With hell in my eyes and with death in my veins  
>The end is closing in<br>Feeding on the minds of man  
>and from their souls within<br>My disciples all shout to search out  
>And they always shall obey<br>Follow me now my child not the meek or the mild  
>But do just as I say<p>

So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<br>So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<p>

_(People close to the stage start running and smashing into each other)_

Jump by your will or be taken by force  
>I'll get you either way<br>Trying to keep the hellfire lit  
>I am stalking you as prey<br>Living your life as me I am you you see  
>There is part of me in everyone<br>So reach down grab my hand walk with me through the land  
>Come home where you belong<p>

So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<br>So come on  
>Jump in the Fire<p>

A Dauntless boy who has to be close to 16 jumps on stage screaming with a small Dauntless flag in hand. "Boy, get the fuck off my stage," Zeke says into the mic, "You ain't ready to party with the big boys yet." The crowd erupts in laughter and praise.

"Oh my god, Christina, I have never seen Zeke like that." I say shocked. "I know, Tris, isn't it hot!" Her face beams with adoration. "I can say the same about Four. Look at him!" Christina adds. I smile and look back down to the stage. Tobias took a drink of his beer and sat it back down on the rise where the drum set was. He turned back to the crowd and started this amazing song. His foot was on a pedal and his movements were deliberate and planned out. His fingers danced on the fret board. This song brought me into a trance like state. Every note thought out. Every spoken word felt in their heart. The song was very deep but so dark at the same time.

Welcome to where time stands still  
>No one leaves and no one will<br>Moon is full, never seems to change  
>Just labeled mentally deranged<br>Dream the same thing every night  
>I see our freedom in my sight<br>No locked doors, No windows barred  
>No things to make my brain seem scarred<p>

Sleep my friend and you will see  
>That dream is my reality<br>They keep me locked up in this cage  
>Can't they see it's why my brain says Rage<p>

Sanitarium, leave me be  
>Sanitarium, just leave me alone…<p>

The song continues. I would sneak into the Abnegation building and play around on the piano. I would write songs that I knew no one else would ever hear. But this…I have never heard anything like this before. I never dreamed it existed. It is so loud but beautiful. Each instrument is skillfully played. They make them sing and do things I never thought the instruments could do. I was always taken back by Tobias and his guitar at home but this guitar…it does things I never dreamed of. It is truly and art.

I look down over the crowd as the song ends. They love this! Zeke talks to the crowd and I see Tobias looking up at me. He kisses two fingers, touches his heart with them and points up to me. My heart flutters the way only he can make it. I reach up and kiss my two fingers and point to him. He smiles. I see so many girls nudging each other and pointing at him. The thought crosses my mind, 'eat your heart out bitches he is all mine!'

Zeke announces that the next song is a new one written by Four and will be sung by Four. The crowd erupts and pride washes over me. Zeke and Tobias change places. Tobias takes his place center stage. As he talks to the crowd a girl with dark brown hair walks up to me and extends her hand. "Hi, I'm Sarah." "Tris." I reply. "So what do you think so far?" She asks. "It's amazing. So you must be friends or family of the band." My statement is more of a question. "Yeah, I'm with Randy, the drummer. This is Renee," She pulls a blond over to her, "She is with Shawn the bassist." I smile to them. It is nice to start meeting new people outside of my circle. "Does this," I motion to the events going on below us, "happen often?" I ask. "This is the biggest party of the year but the band plays often." Renee says. "So you are the one that finally landed the legendary Four." Sarah stated. "I guess so." I say. "But I didn't know he was so 'legendary' when I met him. To me he is just…him." I say looking at Tobias. I am just a girl in love with a boy. "Yeah, well, I am plane compared to the women down there. I honestly don't know how I 'landed' him." I say not realizing my thoughts were vocal. "Tris, you are far from plain." Renee says. "Yea, Tris, Four has met his match. You are first in your class and I hear you only have six fears." Sarah says. "You guys are perfect for each other. I'm so happy he finally found someone to make him happy. He doesn't show emotion so for him to single you out in this crowd he must really love you." Sarah added. "Yeah." I say shaking my head.

Tobias looks over to Zeke and nods his head. Zeke starts the song. He must be playing lead. Tobias rocks to the beat. So far this song is more mellow than the other songs but it is still rock.

Doesn't come down when she calls,  
>"It's time for breakfast."<br>Momma can't get down those halls  
>Fast enough to see<br>Glass is sprayed across the floor  
>From the broken window.<br>She can't breathe anymore.  
>Can't deny what we know.<p>

They're gonna find you, just believe.  
>You're not a person; you're a disease.<p>

All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<br>You ain't comin' in.

Posters hung on building walls  
>Of missing faces.<br>Months go by without the cause,  
>The clues, or traces.<p>

They're gonna find you, just believe.  
>You're not a person; you're a disease.<p>

All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<p>

Shed the light on all the ones who never thought they would become  
>A father, mother asking why this world can be so cold.<p>

Doesn't come down when she calls,  
>"It's time for breakfast."<br>The memories begin to fall.  
>She asks, "When will I be free?"<p>

All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<p>

All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,<br>But you ain't comin' in.

"Zeke and I have been working on a song for two very special women in our lives. We only had a chance to practice it a couple times. Christina, Tris, this is for you. Hope ya'll like it." Tobias says.

Christina and I each lock an arm around the others arm and smile at each other. Another rock song fills the Pit. When Tobias gets to a place in the song that says 'crashed into you' he points up at me.

Well I was moving at the speed of sound.  
>Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around, and<br>Didn't know that I was going down.  
>Yeah, yeah.<br>Where I've been, well it's all a blur.  
>What I was looking for, I'm not sure.<br>Too late and didn't see it coming.  
>Yeah, yeah.<p>

And then I crashed into you,  
>And I went up in flames.<br>Could've been the death of me,  
>But then you breathed your breath in me.<br>And I crashed into you,  
>Like a runaway train.<br>You will consume me,  
>But I can't walk away.<p>

Somehow, I couldn't stop myself.  
>I just wanted to know how it felt.<br>Too strong, I couldn't hold on.  
>Yeah, yeah.<br>Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense  
>Out of how and why this happened.<br>Where we're heading, there's just no knowing.  
>Yeah, yeah.<p>

And then I crashed into you,  
>And I went up in flames.<br>Could've been the death of me,  
>But then you breathed your breath in me.<br>And I crashed into you,  
>Like a runaway train.<br>You will consume me,  
>But I can't walk away.<p>

From your face, your eyes  
>Are burning to me.<br>You saved me, you gave me  
>Just what I need.<br>Oh, just what I need.

And then I crashed into you,  
>And I went up in flames.<br>Could've been the death of me,  
>But then you breathed your breath in me.<br>And I crashed into you,  
>Like a runaway train.<br>You will consume me,  
>But I can't walk away.<p>

And then I crashed into you,  
>And then I crashed into you,<br>And then I crashed into you,  
>And then I crashed into you,<br>And I crashed into you,  
>Like a runaway train.<br>You will consume me,  
>But I can't walk away<p>

The crowd cheers in approval. Zeke announces they are going to take a break but not to get too comfortable because they will be back. The crowd starts to spread out through the Pit. People form a circle while two guys fight. People are climbing the rock wall and in one swift motion they repel down the side without even touching the wall. Alcohol is everywhere. People are making out all around. They are all so happy and free to just be themselves.

Tobias walks into the reserved area and wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my lips with force. He is sweaty and his heart is really pumping. "You love this don't you?" I asked. "It has been a great night. One I will never forget." He says. "I'm really proud of you." I say. "I'm really in love with you." He responds before kissing me again. Zeke and Christina stand by us. "We loved our song." Christina says. "Very much!" I add. A half an hour or so goes by and it is time for the band to return to the stage. Zeke invites all of the girlfriends to go with them to stand just off stage where the crew stands. We all nod excitedly. When we get down there Zeke hits Tobias on the back twice and says, "Can't turn back now, Brother." Zeke smiles. "Would never think of it." Tobias smiles back.

Cody and Zach set up two stools, two mic's, and bring out two acoustic guitars. Tobias sits at Zekes' left and begins to address the crowd. "I wrote this song for someone who made me feel things I never knew I could feel." Tobias says. "Tris," he says looking at me, "Will you come out here so I can sing this to you in front of everyone?" Cody brings out another stool and I my body starts moving in what seems like slow motion. I sit several feet to Tobias' left and sit so I am looking at him. My left side to the crowd who is cheering.

Zeke and Tobias start to play their acoustic guitars in a melody I recognize. It's the song he wrote for me. The song he played for me during our first game of Truth or Dare. He is exposing the deepest part of himself in front of all of these people. He is openly declaring his love for me. Shouting it from the roof top so to speak. Tears fill my eyes.

What would I do without your smart mouth  
>Drawing me in, and you kicking me out<br>You got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down  
>What's going on in that beautiful mind<br>I'm on your magical mystery ride  
>And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright<p>

My head's underwater  
>But I'm breathing fine<br>You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you, oh<p>

How many times do I have to tell you  
>Even when you're crying you're beautiful too<br>The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood  
>You're my downfall, you're my muse<br>My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues  
>I can't stop singing, it's ringing in my head for you<p>

My head's underwater  
>But I'm breathing fine<br>You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you, oh<br>Give me all of you, oh oh

Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts  
>Risking it all though it's hard<p>

Cause all of me  
>Loves all of you<br>Love your curves and all your edges  
>All your perfect imperfections<br>Give your all to me  
>I'll give my all to you<br>You're my end and my beginning  
>Even when I lose I'm winning<br>Cause I give you all of me  
>And you give me all of you<p>

I give you all of me  
>And you give me all, of you, oh oh oh.<p>

I turn around and look at Christina when the crowd gasps and cheers. Christina throws her hand over her mouth. Confused I turn back to look at Tobias. He is on one knee in front of me holding open a small black box. Inside the box is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen in my life. There is a square black stone in the center of the ring. A smaller square grey stone rests on each side of the black stone. Beside the grey stone on the left are four diamonds and on the right are six diamonds.

"Tris, I know this is soon but I know I want to be with you forever. We are like a fourtris that no one will ever be able to break through." My body is weak and I am shaking. My hands are brought to cover my mouth in shock. "I'm giving you all of me. Will you give me all of you, Tris? Will you marry me?" Our eyes are locked and my knees finally give out. "Yes!" I say. "Yes!" I wrap my arms around Tobias's neck and he wraps his arms around me. Everyone is cheering and screaming thrusting their fists into the air. Tobias raises me up to my feet and places the ring on my finger. I look at this beautiful ring and then up into his eyes and we kiss deeply and passionately. The crowd erupts.

"Seems we have more to celebrate tonight." Zeke says into the mic. Tobias walks me over to Christina who grabs me in a forceful embrace. She takes my hand and examines the ring. Tobias leans into my ear and says, "I have a show to finish but we will celebrate later." He grins.

The party goes on for hours. The band plays on for over an hour. The Pit is alive like its own entity. This is my life now. And he, I think while looking at Tobias playing on stage, will be my husband.

**~~~Authors Note~~~**

**I just could not wait for a proposal. I knew it was going to happen, cuz i'm writing the story, but I got too impatient. What better time to do it than on a stage on the most important night of Tobias's life. **

**Thank you for your continued support. You keep me going. You can review each chapter so let me know what ya think.**

**I do not own the rights to the songs in this Chapter. All the songs are property of their bands.**

**"Jump in the Fire" - Metallica**

**"Welcome Home, Sanitarium" - Metallica**

**"All These Lives" - Daughtry**

**"Crashed" - Daughtry**

**"All of Me" - John Legend **

**My love of music is deep and ranges from classical to metal. Dauntless wouldn't sit around singing show tunes so I had to make them a mix of Rock 'n Roll and Metal.**


	15. Chapter 14

~~~Chapter 14~~~

Tobias

"That was a great party. You were awesome, babe!" Tris says. I lean down to kiss her but she grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in hard. I grab her waist to steady myself since she took me by surprise. Her kiss is intense. The most intense kiss she has ever given me. It is full of need and leaves my heart racing and my breathing labored. Everyone in the bands friends and family section are trying to hide their laughter. Tris pulls back and says, "Take me home, Four." Her mouth collides with mine again.

"Nice seeing you all but I have business to take care of." I say and give them a lazy solute. Resting my arm around Tris's lower back, I guide her out of the Pit. Once we are alone in the carved stone hallway she pushes me up against the rugged wall. I have never seen Tris like this before. I love it! She pulls me down and kisses up my neck. As she nibbles my earlobe I can hear the faint moans as her breath quickens. My hands were under the back of her shirt gently squeezing her back when in my periphery I notice people walking down the hallway. "Tris…" I say trying to get her attention but what she is doing to me is far too good and I can't think. "People are watching, Tris." I finally get out. "Let them!" She says before returning to her task. She reaches for my belt but I grab her wrists. "Ok, let's go." I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder and grin at the sound of her laughter.

"Yeah, Man!" One Dauntless says.

"Go get it!" Another adds.

"Tris, do you have your key?" I say as I place her back on her feet at the front door. She is on me again, kissing me and I feel the fire inside me. I push her against the front door with a thud and bring one of her legs up near my hip as I push myself against her. A moan slips through both of our mouths. "Key, Tris." I say. If she doesn't hand it to me soon I will kick this door in, I swear to God I will! Tris takes the key out of her pocket and dangles the loop of the key chain on her finger. When I go to reach for it she quickly folds her fingers around it. In one quick motion she drops it down the front of her pants. "Oopsie!" She giggles. "What are we going to do now, _Four_? Do you think you can help me get the key back?" This woman. She. I groan and stare right into those beautiful grey eyes that are looking at me as if I was her prey. I push her shoulder up against the door so her body will follow and place one hand beside her head to support and steady me. I lift the hem of her shirt and run my hand over her stomach. I inch my way to the waist band of her pants. I unbutton and unzip her pants and the keys come tumbling to the floor. I look down at them as does she. I don't think that is what she wanted to happen. Who am I to deny this beautiful woman who is begging for my touch? I want her just as bad if not more. I slip my hand into those incredibly sexy black lace panties that are trimmed with a deep dark purple. Oh my god she is so wet. I slide my fingers to her opening but I don't enter. I know what she wants but if she wants to play games with me then I will play them too. But I never lose! I can feel her hips moving in an effort to get what she wants. I slide my hand up and brush over her clit. She moans in relief but I don't go back. I just hover my mouth over hers as our breaths mingle. "Please don't stop." She says while she pushes my hand back down. I remove my hand from her body and say, "You do it." Her eyes go wide and look back and forth from one eye to the other searching for my seriousness. "I dare you." I say in the voice I know she can't resist. Tris _never_ backs down from a challenge. I can't help but push her to see just how far she can go.

~~~Tris~~~

What? Is he asking me to touch _myself_? "I dare you." He says. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice tell me everything I need to know. Does he know who he is challenging? He isn't going to know what hit him!

I spin Tobias around and push him up against the door for a change. It's a good thing our door is hidden at the end of a short hallway! "What are you doing Tris? You…not me!" He says. Once his belt hangs free and there is nothing standing between me and his rock hard length I bend to my knees. "TRIS!" He says in surprise. I look up into his eyes and grin then rest him on my lips. I part my lips so he can feel the heat of my breath. His eyes roll back before closing them and tipping his head to rest on the door for only a moment before looking back down at me. I slide my hand into my panties and gently rub circles around and around. I never break eye contact with him as I moan. His eyes blaze. I steady his length with one hand as I take him into my mouth. Swirling my tongue and gently sucking as I take him deeper and deeper. His body shudders as I moan at the pleasure I am giving myself. When my pace quickens on myself it also quickens on him. His hand grasps the door handle and his head tips back. "Fuck!" he says. "We are going to get caught, Tris." He says breathlessly. I pause on him for a moment and look up at him. "Are you _afraid_ of that?" He narrows his eyes at me. Never question a Dauntless' bravery! Tobias grabs a fist full of my hair and pulls me in to take him again. I can feel him getting even harder. A pulse passes through him again and again. My pace quickens on myself and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I can feel it building in me. I'm about to tip over a ledge that I can't return to. Once I fall it will be too late. My pace quickens on him…on me. "Damn, baby!" he says. "Give it to me." I reply. I start to cum. The intensity builds until all I see are stars in my vision. Tobias's body stiffens and his grasp of my hair tightens. "FU..UCK!" he says slamming his fist into the door. I feel him explode in my mouth and run to the back of my throat. I swallow him down and rest back onto my heels trying to catch my breath.

"I can't believe you just did that." Tobias says. "In public, to me, to _yourself_." He says. "Are you going to doubt me again?" I ask. "No." he says while helping me to my feet. We fix our clothing and grab the keys. Before entering he turns me around and says, "I've said this before but I feel the need to say it again. I love dirty Tris." We walk into the apartment and decide to get a shower. Tobias told me he was never going to do anything until he got a shower first but all his senses went out of the window and he could no longer think for himself. "Are you kidding, when I saw you on that stage I was ready to take you down right in front of everyone!" I laugh. "You were so hot up there! I think I started getting wet the second you walked on stage. The way you held and manipulated that guitar…you commanded everyone's attention. It's like….I don't know….when we are alone and in those slow passionate moments…Is pure love. It's always pure love…I don't know how to say it." I pause as he looks at me with softness. "Sometimes is…our souls…you know…Tobias and Beatrice." He smiles and touches my face. "Sometimes? What about other times?" he grins. "I'm embarrassed to admit all of this. I mean, we talk a lot, about all kinds of things but we don't really ever sit and talk about us. "You really are a man of few words and I find myself wondering what is going on in your mind." I say questioningly. "Why don't we start with the 'other times'." He says.

"Other times I just can't get enough of you. I see you brave and strong. Unshakable. On that stage with Max and even in the band, you are the mysterious Four. He is the man in all black that everyone admires and, especially tonight, all the girls swoon over. I'm just Tris. You have a life here and sometimes I don't know where I fit in and other times I feel like I'm on fire and just one touch from you or one look from you will ease the burn."

"We both feel like that, Tris. I think it comes from being in one faction and switching to its exact opposite. Our way of thinking holds onto both virtues. There is a thin line between being brave and being selfless. We would have felt the same about each other but what is acceptable in one place isn't acceptable in another. What would Abnegation do if we did that outside the front door to our Abnegation home?" He laughs and shakes his head. "Being from Abnegation allows me to love you in ways I couldn't here in Dauntless. Now that I have been around many couples in Dauntless, I see I can love you in a way that completes the circle."

I put my hands around his neck. I would wrap my arms around his next if I could fully reach. Tobias looks down at me with that gleam in his eye. I return the sentiment with a grin on my face. "I love you, you know." He says. "I've gathered that." I say pulling my hand down for us both to look at the ring, our complete circle of love, around my finger. "Forever?" I ask. "That's always been the plan." He says. We gently kiss. I have every feeling a person can have all at once. I don't know what to do. It's like I have something important to do but can't remember what it is. The only thing I had this week was my injection and I got it. What is it? It is him. It is us. It is this. It is my life. I want to kiss him and hug him. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. I think I need to sit down. All of these feelings are crushing down on me. My heart rate quickens and my breathing becomes labored. Suddenly, everything and nothing makes sense. I have to sit. I slide out of Tobias's grip and slide to the floor. "Tris!" he says in shock. "Tris, what is wrong?" He falls to his knees beside me and cradles me in his arms. "When you're read, I'm here."

I sob into his chest. "Listen to my breathing, Tris. In…out..." He says in the most calming and soothing voice I have ever heard. "In…out." He continues. I do as he says and my senses are starting to come back to me. My breathing has returned to normal with the exception of tiny gasps here and there from all of the crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He says brushing tears and hair from my face. "I don't even know what it was." I say. "It looked like a panic attack." He explains. "I am not weak, Tobias!" I am shocked he would even say that. I have held it together for years!

"I know you are not weak, Tris, having a panic attack doesn't mean you are weak. It means you have kept too much in for too long. Please, let me in."

"I don't even know where to start. You, the ceremony or induction or whatever they call it to be a leader, the show, the girls, the ring…" I pause to look at the ring again. "I started feeling every emotion at once. I just felt this overwhelming love for you and it was like a weight pulling me to the ground. Nothing in my life has made sense. Who I am, where I am from. I've never fit in anywhere. I always felt trapped. Trapped in my life, hidden away in grey pain, trapped in this body that betrays me. You deserve more than this and suddenly it all became too much. I hate the way other girls look at you. They are so beautiful and sexy. They have curves and full breasts. But I love it when they look at you too because I know you are mine. I've never had so much to lose." Tobias just watches me. What is he thinking? Does he agree that I'm ugly and not good enough?

"I'm sorry, Tobias. Everything just hit me all at once. I felt…I don't know. I just have so much to live for and so much I would die for. I don't even know how to explain it. I struggled with not being Abnegation enough to fit in Abnegation. Scared the test would tell me I had to stay and scared it would tell me I had to leave. I wanted to be Dauntless. I wanted to be free. I wanted to explore who I really am without limitations. Then when I got here I was afraid I wouldn't be Dauntless enough. I'm afraid I don't fit in here, too. A spark hit me in the heart as soon as you lifted me out of that net. For the first time in my life I felt alive. I fought to stay for me but I also fought to stay for you. I felt my fears change. I now fear losing you. That statement isn't even strong enough. It's consuming!" My tears start to spill over to my cheeks again.

"Tris," Tobias says in a stern but loving voice. He holds both of my shoulders and makes me look right into his eyes. "You are amazing. You amaze me every single day. You are Abnegation. You are Dauntless. You are a sweet and sexy badass and I wouldn't change you for anything. I love you more than I ever thought I could. I never knew a love like this even existed. I've felt all the emotions before. We are brave, Tris. We both left. We can be us now. I felt it too, the second I saw you in my net. We are meant to be. You are beautiful, Tris. I don't think you realize how beautiful you are. I don't care about any other girl. There is nothing about them that appeals to me. If they did I would have been with them for the past 2 years. I wanted and needed you. They don't understand where we come from. They don't know what it is like to be here now. We are a perfect mix of the old and new. No one could be more perfect for each other than we are. Please trust me that I will never hurt you or leave you. I would never cheat on you nor would I do anything but cherish and protect you. I have something to live and die for now, too. Come here." He adds.

"Where are we going?" My brows come together. "Just follow me."

"Why are we going into your training room?" I ask. "Do me a favor and stand in front of the mirror." I stand in front of the mirror that consumes most of the wall. I can see my entire body so I look down to my feet. "Head up, Tris. Look at you. What do you see?" He puts he hands on my upper arms and stares at my reflection. "I see two people that don't seem to fit together. I see the most beautiful man in the world with a child." I spit out. Tobias laughs, "Tris, you do not look like a child. Do you think I'm some kind of pedophile pervert or something? Take a deeper look. Look in her eyes. Look at her pure and raw beauty." He brings my hair back behind my shoulders and pulls my shirt taught in the back. "Do you see that, Tris?" He runs his left hand down my side and over my hip. "Are those not curves? There are days I would die to be those pants." He snickers. "And look here," running his hand under my breasts to accentuate them, "it appears that you do have an amazing figure, Tris. I don't know why you can't see it. You are used to being a faceless and figureless person in a world of other faceless and figureless people. But I see you and so does everyone else. Tris, I hear guys just like you hear girls. I want to knock their teeth down their throat at some of the comments but I know they are right."

I look up at him and back at the mirror. I think I see it in there somewhere. "I see me in my eyes but not my body. Does that make sense?" I question. "It makes perfect sense. I know who you are. I know exactly who you are." He smiles at me and wraps he arms around me while we look at us in the mirror. "I really, really….really…hate to say this Tobias. But I think I need a make-over. Christina is going to flip her fuckin' lid but I want it done my way." Tobias busts out laughing. "I feel sorry for you, Tris."

"Oh don't get too excited or I will tell her you want one too!"

That night, after a very relaxing shower, we lay in bed facing each other. Tobias raises my left hand to his mouth and kisses my engagement ring. "You're really going to marry me?" He says as if he is amazed by it. "Yes, I really am." I whisper. Our kiss is slow and passionate. The love we emit rises in to the air and circles around us creating pure bliss. He slowly undresses me. His hands slowly glide over my body as if he is trying to memorize every inch. I place one hand behind his neck and bring him to me. Tobias places a forearm on either side of my head and leans in with a passionate kiss. "Mmm" I say before an exhale as he kisses down my neck. Tobias returns to look into my eyes as he eases into me with a breathy sigh and closing his eyes for a moment. He gently rocks his hips and our breaths quicken and merge together. Right now we are Tobias and Tris. Each move is deliberate. Each kiss is tender. When I reach my climax and dig my fingers into his back, Tobias grins down at me. We made love into the night. We gave each other a part of ourselves.

My eyes open to the sun coming through the window. "Goooo away!" I grumble. I roll over to find a note on Tobias's pillow.

_VI-_

_Didn't__want to wake you but I had_

_to get to work. I'll be home at lunch time. _

_Have fun with Christina :)__  
><em>

_I love you, Babydoll_

_-IV_

I crawl out of bed and put the note in my drawer with the rest of the notes he has left around the house for me to find. I've got to get a shower and then head to find Christina for a long day of shopping.

~~~Tobias~~~

"Tris? Babe are you here?" She must still be with Christina. I went to the fridge to grab a drink and make something for lunch when I heard a knock at the door. Maybe Tris has too many bags in her hands to open the door.

"Lauren? What are you doing here? Everything ok?" This doesn't feel right. "Yeah, Yeah, I was just wondering if we can, um, talk, or whatever." Ok, she is being strange. "Have a seat." I motion toward the couch. Just as I was about to shut the door my gut told me something was off so I left it open an inch or two.

"So, what's on your mind?" I ask sitting on the couch with one cushion between us. "Four…" she hesitates and angles herself toward me bringing her left knee up on the couch, "why did you help me learn how to fight during initiation?" She asked. Is she seriously going there? I make the same movement she does. I turn to the right to angle myself toward her and bring my right knee up on the couch and my right arm rests on the back of the couch. She may see this as me opening up but what I am actually doing is giving her a false sense of safety and so I can watch the door. "I helped you because you asked me to." I answer honestly. I wouldn't survive in Candor but I will not lie and tell her something I don't believe or never felt. "Four, I know you felt the chemistry between us. I've seen you look at me." Chemistry? When is friendship chemistry? "What you may have felt was friendship, Lauren. I'm sorry but I didn't feel that. I've always been your friend and I hope to always be your friend." I admit. Lauren laughs, "So that night at the party when I told you I had a crush on you, you felt nothing?" She asks confused. "Oh, I felt something alright." She smiled. "See. I knew you would admit it."

"No, what I felt was pissed off, Lauren. I was pissed off that you would say that in front of Tris. I've always known you had a crush on me but you chose that moment in front of Tris to announce it to the world? What did you plan to gain from that? You could have taken off a sweater or a shirt and done that shot but you chose to try to hurt her!" I am now ready to kick her out of the apartment on her ass. "I don't want to hurt her. I just want you to admit it, Four. After everything we have been through together. Our talks by the chasm. Did all of that mean nothing? She isn't right for you. You deserve someone so much better. She probably doesn't know the first thing about how to please you. I can do that, Four. I can make you feel things you've only dreamed of."

I can't even look at her right now. I feel her scoot toward me on the couch and bring her hand up to turn my gaze toward her. "Four, please." She says.

"Lauren…" I don't know how to say what I want to say. She looks in my eyes intently. "Four, kiss me." My brows come together questioning her. "Kiss me, Four, and then tell me you don't feel anything. If you say you don't feel anything I will walk out of this apartment and never talk about this again." She slides even closer to me and places a hand on my leg and starts to slide it up. I grab her hand with force.

"Lauren. Get a grip on yourself will you!? I don't love you. You were a friend to me when I had none but I do not have feelings for you other than that. As for Tris…" My heart skips, "I love her. I love her with everything I am. She does make me feel things I never thought I could. Things 'I never dreamed of'. She is my best friend now. She is beautiful and amazing and a great lover. She is everything I want and more." I confess. "If I were to kiss you right now," I lean into her, "It would be the last thing I'd ever do."

Lauren takes the distance between us to her advantage to grab both sides of my face and kisses me. I keep my mouth closed and do not kiss her back. Grabbing her shoulders I shove her off of me. "What the fuck are you doing!?" I yell at her while wiping my mouth. "Four…I…" She tries to say. I hear the door open and I look to see Tris walking in the door to set her bags down. She just looks at me and I shake my head and say her name. "Hi, honey, how was your day so far." Tris says with a smile. She walks up to me and gives me a kiss. I rest my hands on her hips and kiss her back. "Oh, hey, Lauren. How are you?" Tris smiles at Lauren. "Um, fine Tris. I'm…good." Lauren lies. "I better be going though. Good to see to see you Tris."

"You too, Lauren. Here I'll get the door for you." Tris walks to the door and places her hand on the door knob. She pauses for a second and turns slightly to look at Lauren and then at me. Tris spins around and grabs Lauren by the throat. Laurens hands went to Tris's wrists. "Lauren, let me tell you something," Tris says as she spins Lauren to the wall. When Lauren hits the wall Tris pushes up on Laurens jaw so her head hits off the wall. "From now on you will look over your shoulder always wondering where I am. One day I will be there. I will cut off every part of you that has ever touched him and ever wanted to touch him. Whatever delusional dreams you have of him will now be replaced by nightmares of me. If you ever come near us again I will ruin you! I may be little, bitch, but I will fuck you up. Understand?" Lauren nods. Tris pulls back and straightens Laurens shirt. "Now run along." She smirks at Lauren.

Lauren steps off of the wall and Tris takes one step back so Lauren can leave. Tris must have heard everything and right now I'm not going to stop her. I laugh to myself.

SHIT! Lauren takes a swing at Tris but Tris ducks and comes back up with an uppercut to Lauren's stomach. Lauren bends at the waist gasping for breath. "I was hoping you would do that." Tris laughs. Lauren charges at Tris and grabs her around the waist. Tris locks her fingers together and lands them hard on Laurens lower back making her knees give out. Once Lauren is down Tris slams her fist into Laurens face repeatedly. "Tris!" I try to grab her and pull her off of Lauren. She stands up and points one finger at me, "Stay out of this, Four!" Tris reaches down and wraps her hand in Laurens hair and pulls, helping Lauren to her feet. Laurens lip is split and her nose is bleeding. "Don't be stupid, Lauren. You should leave now while you can still walk. You may have been able to concede in your class but I was taught not to stop until you stop moving!" Tris lets go of Lauren with a shove. Lauren takes a step back to gain her balance. Her eyes shift to Four who is standing in his instructor stance and his arms crossed. Laurens eyes shift back to me. I walk over and open the door. Just outside the doorway Lauren stops and turns. Tris stands there with her hand on the door knob. "I underestimated you, Tris." Lauren said. "Most people do." Then Tris grins… "But they don't call me Six for nothing." With that Tris slams the door in Laurens face.

I am still standing there in shock. Is it possible that I could ever love her more? Last night she was Beatrice but right now she is a badass Dauntless.

"So I see you took out bread and lunch meat," Tris says while straightening her shirt and walking to the kitchen, "Sit down and relax and I will make you lunch."

"Wait, wait, wait…" I say as I reach for her when she tries to pass me. "Care to explain…that?" Did she hear what happened through the crack in the door? How long was she there?

"I could ask you the same question." She says. "How long were you standing there?" I ask. "I came around the corner to see the door open up a few inches. When I got closer I heard voices and one was female so I stopped and listened." She said nonchalantly. "So you know I turned her down and pushed her away but you still fought her?"

"After the talk she and I had yesterday…she still had the balls to come here…I warned her but she didn't listen so she deserved it." She said.

"What talk!?" I'm confused. Why didn't Tris tell me about this? "She stopped me after you proposed last night. She told me the same things she told you. I wasn't good enough for you. I couldn't please you. I'm not woman enough for you. She said you have picked one initiate since you got here. She said she was the first but when last year's class came and you used her up you moved on to fresh meat. She said it's the way you are and you will do it to me too. She told me I was nothing more than a warm body in your bed. That I was a means to get off and that you don't have a cell in your body capable of love. She said I was fooling myself in believing I was anything other than your shiny new toy. I told her if she came near you or me I would end her. I told her I would expose her for who she really is. She is a twisted jealous bitch that wants what is mine. I don't share and I don't play nice with others." She grins.

"Is that why you were upset after we got home? Is that why you had that attack?" I asked. "I had a momentary bout of weakness. After you made love to me last night…according to Chris it for a very long time, she's proud of ya by the way…I realized she was wrong and my doubt is in me and not from others. Chris tried to tell me but then you showed me. You make me feel beautiful and I know your love for me is true and I love you just as much." Tris steps closer to me and rests her hands on my chest. Her touch is like blood and I am the coals. I need her lips on mine. I thirst for her kiss. "Hold that thought." She says while putting one finger over my lips. "You need to eat. I want to make you lunch." She says. After all that she wants to make sure I eat lunch. I'm astounded. I say it all the time but I can't find another word…she amazes me. I am so proud to be her man.

"Wait…Christina is proud of me? What all did you tell her?" I grin and shake my head. "Oh you know not much." She grinned. "You'd make a terrible Candor, Tris." I grin back narrowing my eyes. "Well girls will talk. I'm sure you and Zeke hit the highlight reel, too. It is actually what she told me that is more shocking."

"And that would be?" Ok, now I want to know! Guys act like they don't gossip or want to hear gossip but that just isn't true. "Well, apparently you are bigger than Will." She points down. "And you last longer too. She also told me that when she and Zeke are together he isn't as wild as everyone says he is. He is actually pretty tame. Apparently you are just a freak in the bedroom! She said she saw it coming a mile away. She said what surprised her was that I was a freak too." She laughed, "She said it's always the quiet ones."

"What did you tell her?" I asked. Her face blushes. I can't believe she gets that in depth with Christina. I mean, yeah, I talk to Zeke a lot so I shouldn't be so surprised. I guess she needs someone to talk to about it. After all, I should thank Christina for popsicle lesson.

"Oh, you know, just that they don't call you legendary for the fun of it." We both laugh.

**~~~Author's Note~~~**

**I want to thank you all so much for your reviews and follows. Means so much to me. I'm trying to lead up to something so bare with me as I try to get it right lol. Please keep the reviews coming. Be sure to follow me and this story. I want to put everything I have into this story so I wont write two at a time but I have another idea brewing :)**

**Love and hugs!**


	16. Author's Note 2

**~Author's Note 2~**

I absolutely love hearing from you all! Every time I get your reviews and private messages I get a huge smile and I makes me feel so good. I have been writing my whole life but never thought I was good enough. I put so much of myself into writing so the thought of letting anyone else read what I write is just terrifying to me. I'm not the type of person to expose myself that way.

One thing I love so much about being able to read stories on FanFiction is the ability to talk to the author. When I read, and I read a lot, I always have questions. When I get questions from readers I private message them (because I can't reply directly to reviews) and answer any question that I am asked. I realized last night that some of you may have the same questions so I want to address them for everyone to read.

Before I answer...I wanted to let you know that I am working on Chapter 15. Chapter 14 was a very long chapter so I took the morning off from writing. My average chapter is over 2,000 words but the last chapter was almost 6,000 words. I hate waiting for new chapters so I don't want to make you all wait either. I am going to start Tris working soon and we will see more of Tobias at work. Something is brewing.

**~~~Questions and Answers and Explanations~~~**

During Truth or Dare, Zeke told Four to play the song he had just finished. Four told Zeke 'he hadn't told her yet'. It had nothing to do with what he was about to do (play guitar and sing), it had to do with what he was about to say (I love you).

The intimate scenes refer to 'hard length'. I was asked what that length was. I didn't put that in there because I read a lot of stories where they made him like 10 inches. Women are objectified in media as having to look this way or that way. Women are airbrushed into being something we can't live up to no matter how hard we try. Pornography shows above average men but isn't that the same thing? Showing men that something that is out of their control isn't good enough. Did you know that the average length is 4.7-6.2 inches? In my mind he is above average. If I told you everything about him then he wouldn't be the mysterious man in black.

Choice of music...

I love everything from classical to metal...except hard core rap. Metallica is my favorite metal band EVER! When I was thinking of a 'Anthem' for Dauntless I knew it would be Metallica. The song I chose just fit perfectly. The next song they sang is my favorite song, "Welcome Home, Sanitarium." A very close favorite band is Daughtry. The song I chose, "All These Lives" reminded me of the abuse from Marcus. Daughtry also sings 'Crashed'. That is the song that Zeke and Four wrote for Christina and Tris. If you think about it...Tris landed into Fours life and in my story Zeke and Christina kinda crashed into each other after their breakups. 'All of Me' was put in there because it just fits perfectly. I love this song. My husband called me one day and held the phone to the speaker while this song played and he sang it to me. He came home that day with the sheet music for the song so I could play it on my piano.

The Band- Jason quitting wasn't staged. I already had the songs picked out. All I needed to do was pick the names of the band members. I planned on Zeke calling Four up onto the stage for one song knowing he wouldn't have volunteered but being called out in front of all of Dauntless he couldn't refuse. I planned on him singing the Daughtry song "All These Lives'. When deciding on the names I remembered the guitarist from Metallica who played with them for many years after the death of their previous guitarist. Jason is an amazing guitarist but had differences with the band and ultimately quit Metallica. Musicians are _hot_ and there is something about the way a guy hold a guitar and manipulates it...yummy goodness! Metallica has the best guitarists ever! To a lot of people its just loud noise but if you YouTube "Welcome Home, Sanitarium" and just listen to the guitar you can see that it is amazing music and they are true musicians. Beats the computerized garbage that is created now. The drummers name is Randy and the bassist is Shawn. They are brothers. Two people in my life are Shawn and Randy who are brothers.

The proposal- I didn't plan it. It just happened.

The ring- Four diamonds on one side to represent Four. Six on the other side to represent Tris. Next to those are a grey stone on each side to represent where they each came from and a black stone in the center to represent them coming together.

Where did the beer come from in this futuristic society? They have truth serums and injections to make them hallucinate their fears. In the book Four gets drunk before telling Tris she looks good. So maybe the Amity grow the ingredients for the beer and the Erudite brew it? Didn't really think that far into it. Maybe the Amity grow Marijuana too...would explain why they are all peace and love lol

What else...trying to go from memory here lol

Why did I make Eric and Peter change? Eric is still a dick but he is human and honestly if Eric and Four did join forces they really would be unstoppable. I changed Peter because in later books he wanted to change. Everyone deserves a second chance. I'm going to add both of them more in later chapters.

I know I am forgetting stuff. I'm sorry! All the reviews and private messages saying to keep writing and that you love the story just keeps me going. Please keep reviewing. You can review each chapter.


	17. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

~~~Tobias~~~

"Tris, get up! We overslept!" Shit, shit, shit. What do I need? Pants. Shirt. Closet. Check. Socks, boxers, Dresser. Check. I throw on my clothes as quick as I can but see Tris is still sleeping. "Tris." I nudge her shoulder. "Hey, babe." She smiles and rubs her eyes. "We are late, Tris. We overslept. You're going to be late for work and I have a meeting with Eric and Max." Tris comes flying out of bed. "Holy Shit, Tobias, why didn't you try to wake me?"

"Actually, I said WE overslept and I did try to wake you." I explained. "I'm sorry, babe, I just have back to back tatts today." She says as she pulls a black tank over a dark red one. She brushes her hair in the mirror while I brush my teeth. Then we switch. It went pretty smoothly this time.

"Muffin?"

"Yes, Dear? She replies.

I laugh and hold up a muffin. "Muffin?" She grabs the muffin and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. I grab a muffin and lock the door behind us. We walk quickly down the hall to the corridor to the right, then left, the into the Pit. This is where we part.

"Have a good day, Tris." I kiss her. "Have a good day. Lunch?" she asks. "That's the plan." I say. With one more quick kiss, Tris heads off to the shop and I go up the stairs to my office. I have just enough time to get in and bring up my schedule for the day on my computer when Eric knocks on the open door. "Ready?" he asks. "Yup." I lie. This is the day I've dreaded for two years. This is the reason I declined leadership so many times. "Everyone is already in there so let's go." Eric spits out.

I walked tall and stern into the board room. In the center is a large table that seats ten. A large glass wall takes up the opposite side of the room. Max has pulled down a large white screen behind his seat at the end of the table. "Come in and sit down." Max says. I take my place to his right and Eric takes his place to his left. Marcus' eyes are on me from the moment I walked in the room.

"I see we have new faces here today," Max starts, "Why don't we start with introductions? Most of you know me already. I am Max. I am a leader in Dauntless."

"I'm Eric, leader in Dauntless."

"Four, leader in Dauntless." Marcus' head jerks from Eric to me. I can't tell he is shocked that I am a leader of my faction.

We went around the room introducing ourselves. From Erudite were Janine Mathews and her assistant Bryant. From Candor were Jack Wu and Jennifer Shere. From Abnegation were Marcus Eaton and….Andrew Prior? My heart shutters. This is Tris' father! I don't even hear who was here from Amity. All I can think of is how to get him into my office and get Tris there as well.

"Thank you all for coming. We all know why we are here. It has been a couple of months since the weapons warehouse was broken into. We all know that the factionless have started a rebellion and are trying to take down the faction system. We have to stop them. The more time we waste the stronger and more in number they become. We are expecting another break-in. The factionless did not acquire ammunition during their intrusion. Fifteen weapons were stolen during the attack. Our guards took down most of the intruders but some ran away with those guns. Fifteen weapons are not enough to stop a force of Dauntless but we have to stay on guard." Max clarified.

"How did the factionless break into the warehouse to begin with? I thought Dauntless were supposed to be soldiers." Marcus sneered. I am really going to love sticking it to this asshole soon. Max doesn't look so happy either. His body stiffens and his eyes narrow.

"Marcus, we believe Ex-Dauntless is responsible. Four will present to you all our findings and our current plans." He says.

"What makes him qualified?" Marcus takes a jab at me. Max knows my history and has seen my fears during my fear landscape final. He is fully aware of Marcus' intentions. "Four was top of his initiation class. He trains our soldiers and is an expert in intelligence. He is deadly in hand to hand combat and an exceptional marksman. He was born to be Dauntless." I look to Marcus to see that in his eyes he is fuming.

"Well, now that we established that," I say indifferent. "As Max explained we took down most of the factionless who infiltrated our compound. The factionless may only have 15 weapons but 1 weapon in the hands of a Dauntless, ex or not, is a lethal combination. Our main objection here in Dauntless may be to serve and protect but the part that protects is trained to kill." My eyes narrow at Marcus. "Their plan of attack was during a shift change. We have remedied this by overlapping our shifts and beefing up our security measures. We have more armed guards surrounding our compound and our Factionless Patrol Officers are making their presence more apparent in the factionless sectors. All of the factions have something to offer the factionless. It is our duty as Dauntless to protect and serve. For that reason we will be sending Guards to each of your respective Headquarters. We will place four guards on your roofs, one guard at each exterior entrance and two at your main entrance. Your compliance is not appreciated it is expected." I explain. By now the Faction Leaders are intently looking at me while the severity of the matter sinks in.

Eric further explains that this is just stage one of our plan to defend our city and its values. "Any uprising in the factionless will be met with force. The factionless are growing in number faster than our own factions. While we can't decrease their number for no reason we can be more mindful of their sentencing during trials. Other than those born into the factionless, most of the factionless are trained according to our factions. They know our laws and our compounds. They can use this intelligence against us." He explains. "The factionless are much like prisoners. They have nothing but time on their hands to plot their next steps. They have been burned by society and are looking for a way back in as their own faction."

"Is there any way to do this peacefully?" The Amity woman asks. "No." Eric answers bluntly.

"Our faction works side by side with the factionless. Are our people safe?" Andrew asks.

"Mr. Prior," I say. This is a sign of respect. Dauntless only uses first names but this is Tris' father and I know he is a good man. "Right now we are to assume no one is safe. Our patrol will be with your faction to insure their safety. I don't believe the factionless will bite the hands that feed them; however, your faction is the governing faction. If the factionless want to rise part of their uprising will be to destroy our government. It is my opinion that we need to review and possibly make some change to the sentencing of our criminals. With all due respect Jack." I add.

"Throughout this situation we have discovered gaps in our laws." Max adds. "You have our full cooperation," adds Janine, "our faction system needs protecting and we are thankful to have you. As much as I hate to admit, I agree with Mr…" Janine looks to me. "Just Four, I do not have a last name." I glance to Marcus quickly before returning my attention to Janine. "Yes, Four, I agree with you that there seem to be gaps in our system. Could we not utilize our Truth Serums or Memory Serums or even our Peace serums in an attempt to aid us in this situation?" She asks.

"We have prisoners that will be escorted to Candor shortly. Their Truth Serum will come in handy during their trial so that we can gain more intelligence to aid in phase two. You will all be informed as we get closer to phase two, however, due to confidentiality and our attempt to keep information from leaking to the factionless we are not yet making any plans known." Max explains. "Jack, Eric will be attending your trials."

"Yes, I understand." Jack nods.

"Well, we are nearing our lunch hour," Max says while closing and stacking his files. "We would be honored to have you as our guests. We have reserved a private table at the front of our dining hall. Eric will show you to the dining hall. Thank you all for coming." Max leaves the room as the Faction Leaders stand and adjust their clothing.

The leaders start to follow Eric out of the door. Of Course Abnegation wait to walk out last. "Mr. Prior, I would like to continue our discussion on aiding your service workers."

"Yes, thank you, Four." He replies.

Once we get to my office I motion for Andrew to sit and pour him a glass of water. "Thank you!" Andrew says with a smile.

"Mr. Prior, I believe I can be honest with you without being accused of being a traitor to my faction. Am I correct?" I ask. "Yes, you may be honest with me. I will not turn you in. If you have something that you need to speak to me about who am I to deny you." He says as a true Abnegation.

"I have no other way to say this but bluntly. As Max explained, I train new initiates. Six months ago I trained your daughter." I say. Andrews's eyes widen and his breath catches. "You know my Beatrice?" He asks with feeling welling up in his eyes.

"She goes by Tris now and yes I do know her. I know her very well, Mr. Prior." I add.

"Please, Four, call me Andrew. And…Tris…is she ok?" he asks with a slight hesitation. "Yes, Andrew, she is ok. She ranked first in her class. You raised a quite a girl."

"You speak very fondly of her, Four."

"Yes, I am very fond of your daughter. I only wish I could have asked you properly for her hand but we are engaged to be married in just a few weeks."

"Oh, well, that is wonderful. I…" he shakes his head and looks up at me. "Four, you are not from Dauntless are you?"

"You are very observant, Andrew. No, I am not. I was Abnegation before finding my rightful place in Dauntless."

"Do I know your family?" He asks. I look him in the eyes and take a deep breath. I have to remind myself that this is Tris' father. What I tell him could change his thinking and way of life. I don't know that I can tell him. I owe it to him. I will be his son-in-law after all.

"Andrew." I look deeply into his eyes. "I had to leave the concept of family behind when I left Abnegation. I left for selfish reasons. I left to save my own life. Since then I dedicated my life to saving others. My father is Marcus Eaton."

"Marcus?" He says with an exhale. "So, it's true?"

"Yes, Sir, it is true."

Andrew looks to the ground pondering everything he had ever known wondering what is right and what is wrong, what is truth and what is a lie. "Andrew?" I say to bring him back from where he slipped into. "Oh, yes, sorry." He says. "Would you like to see your daughter?" I ask with sympathy in my voice. "Would she be safe doing that? Would she be considered a traitor?" He questions. "Andrew, Beatrice never wanted to leave you or her mother. She loves you very much." Andrews's eyes swell with tears. "When Caleb left she was sure she would stay in Abnegation to make you both proud. She didn't want you to hurt. She changed her mind at the last minute because she had to be true to who she is. Yes, she is selfless but she is the most courageous, brave, and…" I smile with a sharp exhale, "stubborn woman I have ever met. It took that bravery to do what she did."

"I would like to see my daughter." A tear falls from Andrews's eye but he quickly wipes it away and composes himself. I push a button on the wall beside my desk and moments later Abrielle appears knocks while opening my door. "Yes, sir?" She asks. "Abrielle, again, its Four, please…I may be a leader but I'm no better than you are." Abrielle smiles and says, "How can I help you, Four."

"Abrielle, I will be late getting to lunch, would you go tell Tris to meet me here?" I ask but we both know that it is not a matter of will she but she will. "Yes, anything else?" She asks.

"No." I reply. "Um..Four?" I look at her with a stern questioning look. "Umm…I have an appointment with Tris later today and I was wondering if I could…"

"Abrielle. I am not Max and I am not Eric. You have no need to be afraid of me. Yes, I am your leader and you will follow my instructions but this is not Amity. You are not in Amity anymore. You are Dauntless." She understands what I am trying to say. I am reminding her that Dauntless are brave and if she can't conduct herself in such a fashion maybe she should go back to dancing around trees in the Amity gardens. "Can I have time off for my appointment with Tris?" "Yes, you may. But only leave just before your appointment and check back with me when you are done." Abrielle nods and closes the door. I do need her here and if it weren't Tris doing her tattoo I would have denied her. There is plenty of time after work for her to get tattooed. She shouldn't be scheduling appointments without prior authorization. I will have a talk with her when she gets back.

Andrew and I get to know each other a little while we wait for Tris to get to my office. From the long window beside my door I see Tris coming up the steps to the offices. I tell Andrew it would be too much of a shock for her to walk in and see him so I am going to go outside the door and meet her first. I walk to the door and close the blinds before walking out of the door and closing it behind me.

"Hi." She smiles at me and I smile back. She is contagious. Everything about her makes my body feel light. She has a glow around her like an angel. "Hi" I lean down and kiss her soft lips. After the day I have had she is like a drink of water in a desert.

"How has your day been?" She asks. She asks me that every day at lunch and every night when I get home. "I had a meeting with all the faction leaders today." Her eyes widen and she looks at me for any conformation of her fears. "Marcus?" she says hesitantly. "Yes, but I am fine. I'm not that same person anymore, Tris. After today I want to go through my fear landscape again. I felt it change, Tris."

"After dinner?" she suggests. "That will work but first I have something to tell you. It is very important. I need you to stay calm and act like we are having just another conversation. Until we get into my office, it is just another ordinary day. Understand?" I say in a way that she knows the seriousness of what I am going to tell her and that she cannot question me.

"Marcus didn't come alone to represent Abnegation. He brought…" I place a hand on each of her shoulders. "…your father!" Tris gasps and tears start to fill her eyes. "Tris…pull it together right now. I know…trust me I know. But you can be accused of being a traitor and so will I. Right now your father is on the other side of that door. I am going to motion to the door as If I am suggesting we go inside. Until we get inside, remember, it is just an ordinary day."

Tris pulls herself together and places her hands on my side as she normally does. She tips her head and looks up at me and smiles. I see the fear in her eyes but she is doing a great acting job. "I'm afraid he hates me." She says. "He does not hate you, Tris. He loves you. He is waiting for you in there..." I motion to the door. Tris nods and takes a deep breath.

I open the door and walk in first. "Andrew." I say. Andrew quickly stands up and turns around. I move to the side and Tris walks in. Andrews breath hitches. The last time he saw his daughter she was in gray. Her hair was placed in a bun neatly. Today her hair is down. She wears tight black pants with a leather belt that is covered in silver studs. Her pants go down into boots. She wears a deep red tank top with a smaller black tank top over it. She has a delicate silver hoop in each ear and a silver necklace made of linked ovals that rest just below her breasts. She has curves in all the right places and the stance of a true Dauntless. "Dad." She whispers.

I shut the door behind her and she slowly walks toward Andrew. She walks slowly partly from fear but partly so she can gage his reactions. A trait of a Dauntless. Andrew opens his arms a swiftly pulls Tris into him. She wraps her arms around his waist. "Beatrice." He sobs. "I have missed you so much. Your mother and I are proud that you knew yourself well enough to make the decision you had to make."

"You are not angry with me?" She says through her tears. "No we are not angry with you Beatrice. We were hurt but only from greed. Our selfless nature knows that you did what you had to do and we had to let you go." They embrace again.

We all sit and have a nice conversation. I brag on Tris and her initiation process. She tells Andrew all about me and how we met. I was hoping she would leave the knives out of this but she explains that I have impeccable aim.

"I'm sorry to have to say this but if we stay in there any longer people will start to get suspicious." I say. Tris and Andrew nod. I know they don't want this to end. "Tris should probably go first. Go ahead and sit at our table with our friends. They should be arriving right now. I will escort your dad to his table with the other leaders then I will join you." Tris gives her father a hug and returns to my side. I put my arm around her shoulders and she places her arm around my waist. "Dad, I'm so happy you got to meet, Four. He really does make me happy." She beams.

"I am happy to have met him as well. I can see that you two are very happy together. He is a good man, Beatrice. I would love to have you meet Natalie. I don't want to get either of us in trouble but since we have broken all the rules anyways do you think you two could find your way to Abnegation for dinner?"

I smile, "I think we will find a way to arrange that. Expect us in one week." Tris looks up at me with a wide smile.

"Four," Andrew begins, "Our society believes in Faction Before Blood. But I want to welcome you to our family." He extends a hand to me. Abnegation do not shake hands. I give him my hand and we shake. "You may not have been able to ask for her hand and I understand why but I still want you to know that I approve and give you my blessing."

"Thank you, sir. It does mean a lot to me. More than you know." I say sincerely. Tris leaves and shuts the door behind her. "Does she know about the factionless?" He asks.

"No. I haven't told her. I have never been able to keep anything from her and this kills me but as a leader I can't and as her future husband I feel I have to protect her. Everyone will know in a few days. I plan on talking to her tonight."

"I know she is tough but please protect her." Andrew pleas. "With my life." I say.

**~~~Author's Note~~~**

I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think :) I've hit over 11K readers and am humbled.


	18. Chapter 16 (FIXED)

**_A/N. I don't know what happened to the original CH16. It flipped out and started showing HTML codes. This should fix the problem. Much love to you. Thank you for your continued support._**

Chapter 16

~~~Tris~~~

After seeing my dad today I can't help but think about what he saw when I walked in Tobias's office. I have changed so much since I came here six months ago. I don't look like that sweet little Abnegation girl anymore. When Tobias put me in front of that mirror I discovered that what was inside of me was not represented on the outside. Not just my figure but who I really am. I turned 17 a couple weeks ago and my body has changed. I have the curves I admired on the other Dauntless girls. My chest is now a full B and for my body size I have to say I am quite pleased. I finally have cleavage. I can't help but laugh thinking of that.

I auditioned for a band tonight. They already have a singer but wanted a secondary singer who is female for a few songs each gig. I have so much inside to get out. I told them even if they didn't pick me I would love to work with the new singer on some songs that I have in mind. I sang one of my original songs, 'Keepin' Up With The Boys', and they seemed to love it. I developed my own fashion style. It just suits my personality and I'm comfortable. For my audition I wore cut off stone wash jeans with the fringe hanging in places and my black belt with silver studs. Under the shorts I wore black see thru leggings. My top was a purple tank with a black cut off tee over it. I cut the neck of the tee and it hangs off one shoulder. And of course I wore my boots with the silver eyelets. Lynn did my hair about a month ago and I love it. I kept my blond but added some lighter hi-lights and she put hidden black streaks that peek through the blond. I had to peel Tobias off of the floor when I came home with my new look. He called me his Dauntless Goddess.

Tobias should be home any minute. He said he wanted to go into his fear landscape. He ended up missing dinner so I fix him something and put it in the warmer. I made his favorite…hamburgers. I hear his keys wiggling the door knob so I go to the fridge and grab him a beer. He told me to make sure I lock the door when I am home alone. I have no idea why but whatever.

"Hey, babe, how was the rest of your day?" I ask as I walk up to him. He grabs the loops on my jean shorts at my hips and pulls me to him for a kiss. After the kiss I lean back to look at him. He still holds my hips to him. "Thought you could use this." I hand him a cold beer. He takes a sip and relaxes knowing he is home now. "Here let me hang up your jacket." I say taking his jacket. "Tris you put in a full day too. Why don't you relax with me? Let's stay in tonight." He says while I hang his coat by the door.

"Sounds great." I say as I sit beside him on the couch. "So, are you going to tell me why all the leaders were here today?" I ask. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I may as well tell you now. I was going to wait until later this evening. Everyone is going to know soon and I don't want you finding out that way."

"What is going on, Tobias?" I question in a firm voice.

Tobias goes on to explain that he was approached the day after a break in at the weapons warehouse and asked again to join leadership. He said that was the reason he decided to join. He explained about the factionless and the possibility of an uprising. He explained how all of the factions are in danger and the leaders were brought to Dauntless today to go over the first stage of the plan to protect us and end this uprising.

"When were you going to tell me?" I ask.

"Today. I decided on telling you today. Tomorrow we are going to ask for volunteers to guard other Faction Headquarters and work patrolling the Factionless Sectors." He says. I am stunned.

"So you decided to drop all this on me the day before everyone else finds out. Did you only tell me because I would ask you why the other leaders were here?" I shake my head. "No, Tris. I couldn't say anything. We couldn't let this out until we were sure what was going on and had a plan in place. I knew you would want involved." He says the last part with his head down.

"Tobias, when you started leadership I told you not to let it consume you. The past three months you stare off at the TV, I call your name several times before you snap out of it and realize I am talking to you, and when I ask you what is wrong you just kiss me and throw me a compliment and ignore my question. I have let it go because I know you have a Faction to run. I tried to be the good little future wife and support you. And to repay me you keep me in the dark because you are afraid I'm going to defend my Faction. You bet your ass I am going to volunteer." I scold.

Tobias stands up and walks several feet away from me before turning to me. He points his finger at me, "You are not going to do something as stupid as that, Tris. You do not understand. This could turn into a full blown war."

"And you think I can't handle myself in combat? Maybe I should tell my instructor that you don't believe in his abilities." I remark.

"That is not cool, Tris." He raises an eyebrow at me. "I don't want you to get hurt…or worse."

"This is what I signed up for. I knew coming into Dauntless that something like this could happen. Do you expect me to stand in that kitchen with my apron on baking cookies for you and praying you come back from fighting out there? It's not in my nature. If I wanted to do that I would have joined Amity."

"I can't let you do it, Tris. I can't lose you. I can't." He says. "I can't lose you either, Tobias, but I can't sit here like a coward. I have your back you have mine remember." I stand up and walk up to him. Just inches and air separate us. "You're not going, Tris." He says firmly. "You can't stop me." I say. "Yes, I can. I am your leader and I can refuse your request."

"You seriously want to pull the leader card, _Fou_r?" I say

"Don't use that name like a weapon, Tris." He says. Seems like I struck a nerve because he is obviously pissed off now. At least we now feel the same way. How dare he say that I cannot fight and defend our society and our way of life.

"You're my leader, remember. I should address you as such. Respect and all, right? Four is my leader. If you want me to bow down to you and worship you like everyone else does, shouldn't I call you Four. Or is it only when you're _fucking_ me I can call you Tobias?"

"ENOUGH!" Tobias shouts. My eyes go wide. He just yelled at me! "Why do you have to be so _fucking_ stubborn, Tris? Why can't you listen to me for once?" He runs his hands through his hair.

"Let me ask you this way. A Dauntless comes in first in their class. That person becomes an instructor and has trained for the last three months to create soldiers. Would that person, who creates soldiers, not make a good one? Is that someone you would want on your side out in a war?" I ask. I know the answer but the one he gives isn't what I expected.

"Yes, Tris. They would. But that person is you so no I. Don't. Want. You. Out. There."

"Don't I get a choice?"

"No. You don't."

"Then you really do leave me no choice." I turn to the door and grab his jacket and throw it on. I turn the handle and open the door. Tobias grabs my arm firmly and turns me around.

"Shut the fucking door right now Tris!" He says in a tone I have never heard come from him.

"I will shut the door when I'm on the other side."

"Damn it, Tris." He pulls me into the room and slams the door behind me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Tobias?" I shout. "Why can't you see me for who I am? I'm not Beatrice anymore." He turns his head away. "LOOK AT ME DAMN IT!" I scream. He doesn't. I walk up to him and turn his head to me. "Look at me…"

"I'm not going to change my mind." He says. "Neither am I." I turn back to the door. Again, he grabs my arm but this time pulls me back into the living room with force. I lose my balance and fall to the floor. I look up at Tobias to see him looking down at me with fear in his eyes. I get up and go to the door. This time he doesn't stop me. "You said you would never leave me." He says. "You said we were a team." I say before closing the door behind me.

~~~Tobias~~~

What the fuck just happened? I can't lose her. She is the sun that I revolve around. I don't even remember who I was before her. Until she fell into my life I was just surviving. I just existed. I have no purpose without her.

I pace the living room and anger starts to build in me. She left me. She walked out that door and fucking left me. I grab my beer and slam it against the wall shattering into small amber pieces on the floor. Fuck! I fall to my knees and lean back onto my heels. I grab fists full of hair and scream.

I have to find her! I have to try to explain myself. I just don't want her to get hurt. I don't want to see her laying in a pool of blood like she did in my fear landscape. Her body was cold and lifeless and her eyes were open and void. I shouldn't have demanded her to do or not do anything. I should have just told her how I felt. I should have told her about my fear landscape. My fear of shooting an innocent changed to a fear of her dying. I couldn't survive that. I would jump into the Chasm.

I run out the door and head for Christina's. I panic when I find out she isn't there. Where else would she go? I run to our spot at the Chasm but it is empty. The Pit? She isn't there either. Tattoo Parlor, Tori's, Music Room…not there. Where the fuck can she be?

"Eric…Have you seen…"

"Four we have a problem. Someone left the compound. They got on the train before a guard could stop them." He says. We have been running a curfew for the past few weeks. No one can go out of the compound after dark. Tris is in danger.

"It was Tris! I know it was her! I can't find her anywhere. We got in an argument and she ran out. I fucked up Eric. Please help me find her. Oh God what have I done?"

"Four, it is going to be alright, man. We will find her. She will be safe. We will bring her home. I'm going to get on the radio and alert all of the guards and patrols. You need to stay here and wait for her. We can't have both of you out there."

"I can't sit here and wait. I have to find her. You can't expect me to stay here and do nothing!" I can't believe it. That is exactly what she just told me. She was right. I still don't want her involved but I can't stop her.

"Four, the train runs through the entire city. I can never remember the schedule but by the time you wait for the next one to come through, where are you going to jump off?"

"What if it were Zoey?" I say. Eric nods. "I'll get you a radio. You will keep in touch with me and I will update you."

"She took my coat so I don't have a gun." I add. "Take mine." Eric says reaching into his coat and removing his gun from the build in holster. Checking to make sure the safety is on I slide the gun under my belted pants at the small of my back. "Keep chatter to a minimum," Eric adds, "we don't want this getting out. We will use channel 12. Call out by sector. What do we call her?"

"Six."

I take a deep breath and run to jump on the train. The cold air stings my lungs reminding me that I am alive. For how long I do not know. If anything happens to her…

I have to be smart about this. If I work closest to the compound and work my way out then I will have to back track the entire city. I will head out to sector two first and work my way South-South East. The sectors are laid out like a calendar. All of the empty space surrounding the city but still inside the wall is sector one. Sector one is broken down according to their location. The gate is Sector One North West. From there each sector is squared off with two through five at the top of the city, six through nine in the middle of the city and ten through thirteen at the bottom of the city. I don't know if she will be at the Navy Pier in sector one because we share a memory there but it is a special place that means a lot to both of us. If she is hurting as bad as I am, just seeing the Ferris Wheel will be like gouging a red hot blade through her heart.

"Four to Base, Sector Two Clear. Over."

"10-4 Sector Two Clear. Over."

I don't think she would venture to far from the tracks. Our city shuts down all but emergency lighting at night and she doesn't know the area too well. I follow the tracks to sector six and head to its center. I suspect she would be closer to sector seven being that our compound is where the four corners of sectors 6, 7, 10, and 11 meet. At the time she would have jumped the train she would have been heading into the heart of sector 6. The train curves to the right to go through sector 7. I doubt she would have jumped off the train so soon. She would have had a lot on her mind and probably lost a little time before jumping.

I walk up and down the streets of sector six looking for signs of movement in alley ways and buildings. The factionless stay mostly in the eastern section of sector seven and in sector eight near Abnegation. The factionless that are here are surrounding burning metal barrels to keep warm. Fall is nearly here and the wind from the North-West is starting to bring a slight chill to the air.

She could be hiding in a building but I can't search every single building in the city. I don't want to ask the factionless if they have seen a beautiful young girl walking the streets alone tonight. That would be asking for her to get… I can't even think about it.

The panic I have been desperately trying to suppress cannot be suppressed any longer. It bubbles up in me. I lean up against a brick wall with my forearm to support myself and catch my breath. Tears stream down my face. I can't lose her. This is all my fault. I didn't mean to knock her down. It was an accident. Will she ever see it that way? She looked up at me with fear. Just the way I looked up at Marcus as he beat me until blood surfaced. I am not my father. I could never hurt her! But I did. I broke her heart. I broke her trust. I said anything and everything to get her to stay in Dauntless and not get involved in the war. It was my own selfishness that asked her to deny her faction and renounce her values.

Marcus was right. He was right all along. I am a selfish, good-for-nothing bastard. I grab my hair in both fists and scream. "What the fuck have I done!?" I punch the brick wall busting the skin of my knuckles. Blood pours from the cuts. Pain is the only thing I have ever known. It masks the pain I feel in my heart. I rip off a piece of my t-shirt and wrap it around my bloody knuckles pulling the knot tight with my teeth and left hand. I have to keep moving. I don't have time to stand here and feel sorry for myself. Even if she never forgives me I have to protect her and, if she is in trouble, save her.

"Base to Four, 10-66. Over."

"Four to Base, as expected. Over."

"10-4, what's your 20? Over."

"Central Sector Six, Over."

"Be advised 10-61. Over."

"10-4 Base."

_(Interpretation: Eric to Four, How ya doin'_

_Four to Eric as expected._

_Eric to Four, Where ya at._

_Four to Eric, I'z ri-cheer._

_Eric to Four, just warnin' ya we have patrols headed your way so don't shoot the good guys._

_Four to Eric. Gottcha.)_

Another half an hour goes by and I am running on pure adrenaline. My heart sinks. There is a puddle of fresh blood off a loading dock in sector seven. It is large enough that the person who belongs to this blood cannot still be alive. I reach for my radio when Eric transmits.

"Base to Four, Six obtained. Return to base."

"Base advise condition. Over."

"Six stable. One DOA and One in custody. Over."

WHAT? DOA? CUSTODY? Tris and two others. What the hell happened. I have to get back…NOW!

"Four to Base, 10-76" (En Route to location)

"Copy, Four. 10-77" (ETA to arrival)

I look at my watch. A train should be coming through any time. If I run to the tracks I should make it but the train will take me to the East side of the compound. I will have to jump to the roof and into the net. I haven't done that in 2 ½ years and I didn't like it the first time. However, it's the fastest way to get to Tris.

"Four to Base, 7 minutes out. Advise patrol arrival via roof. Over."

"Copy, Four."

I made it to the tracks and onto the train. I stand at the door with my arms stretched. One hand reaches the handle on the left and the other hand reaches the handle on the right. I lean forward and feel the cool night air embrace my body. I may be afraid of heights but this always felt freeing to me. The jump coming up never bothered me either. It is the jump that follows that terrifies me. I jump to the roof with ease and stay on my feet. I announce myself to the guards who then shine a flashlight on my face. "Sorry, Sir." They motion for me to proceed. I can't show the guards that I have fear. They have to have faith in their leaders.

I step up onto the ledge. Don't look down, I tell myself. I look down. Shit! I tip my head back and close my eyes. All I think is Tris and step off. Eric meets me at the bottom.

"Where is she?" I ask while jumping out of the net.

"She is in the infirmary, Four."

I run.

_**~~~Authors Note~~~**_

_**The next chapter will be from Tris' POV. It will be what happened from her POV during the fight and what happened until she got to the infirmary. **_

_**Please Review! Reviews=Love :)**_

_**I learned the 10 codes from my dad who was a truck driver for almost 40 years. I went on to use them along side my husband when we worked in a prison. He was a Sargent and I was an aide in the medical unit (with my mom-a nurse). **_

_**I come from a line of Navy men and have a lot of military and law enforcement friends/family.**_

_**Thank you to all who serve!**_


	19. Chapter 17

**A/N: I am sorry I didn't upload last night. I was pretty sick. Feeling much better so to make up for not posting I made this chapter extra long. I hope you all like it. I gave so much of myself to this chapter. I really relate to Tris. I grew up in Los Angeles and moved to a very small town in West Virginia. Tris and I made the opposite moves but the feelings are still the same. Knowing someone will read this makes me feel naked and vulnerable. Also, I'm sorry for any errors. I started this at 2am and it is now 6:30am. Please review and let me know what you think. It means a lot to me.**

Chapter 17

~~~Tris~~~

How did today go so wrong? I feel like I have been on a roller coaster rider that I can't get off of. I am numb. I just walked out on him. I promised I would never leave him. How did this escalate so quickly? Words flew out of my mouth and I didn't mean them. I questioned his ability to instruct. I used his name against him. I turned his reasoning for joining leadership against him. He will never forgive me. I cut him deep. But he cut me too.

I'm running. To where? The only thing I can think of is to just go as far as I can away from here. I'm on the train. To where? The wind dries my tears as quick as they fall. What have I done? What have I become? When I was a little girl my dream was to be happy. Dreams are so simple as a child. In our minds we can be anything we want to be and we just want to be happy. I used to stand on the roof of our home and spread my arms while the cool wind rushed over my body. I was flying. I was free. I had no cares. I had no worries. Life doesn't have a rewind button. What has happened _to_ me, I have to believe now, has happened _for_ me. I have been molded into the person I am now. I have to believe it is for a reason.

As a child I admired Dauntless. I wanted to be wild and free. I wanted to be fearless and brave. I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. I never made connections with other people. I smiled on the surface because it was what was expected of me but on the inside I was lost. I became a thinker. I became a student of people. I sat back and observed. All while figuring out what made others tick…I never really figured _me_ out.

I am learning that now. I spent my life screaming inside and that emotion came out in music. My soul speaks through the beat. Thoughts spin around in the chaos of my mind but the lyrics say it all for me. The words I choke on easily cry out. I'm lost. I'm lonely. I hurt but I love. I cry but I'm laughing. I am a tortured soul. I am damaged. Am I where I came from or where I am? I feel like I have lived two lives. I feel like I have lived in two worlds. One world is peaceful but I feel like a trapped animal. In the other world I am an animal in the wild in search of a familiar shelter. I can't have both. I can't be both.

I am loving, kind, and giving. I am mouthy, feisty, and defiant. I am the calm before the storm. I am a time bomb waiting to detonate. I change like the rise and fall of a tide.

I am Beatrice. I am Tris. I am Six. I am his…if I still can be.

I have to get off of this train! I feel like I am standing still going nowhere but the world passes me by. I leap.

I don't recognize the buildings around me so I walk between them feeling the rough exterior of a brick wall. I feel the rusted metal of a fire escape. I feel the smoothness of the glass windows. I feel so I must be alive even though I feel dead inside. How will I ever be able to face him again? Maybe I don't have to go back. Maybe I could just be factionless and live in a third world. One where the only person to hurt is myself. The factionless! They are building an army! What would they do if they found me…a seemingly fragile girl…a Dauntless girl…wondering the darkened streets at this hour. Whatever hour it is now. Tobias had to have come looking for me in the Pit by now. I had thought about going to the tattoo parlor and just going to sleep but I knew I'd never be able to fall asleep and I knew he would look for me there. I just needed space. Now the distance is painful. I want to go back but I don't know if I have a home to go to. I don't know if he will ever forgive me but even if he would forgive me I have broken so many rules tonight. Even though he is a leader I doubt he could fix what I have done. Would I even want him to fix this? I don't deserve for this to be fixed for me. I deserve whatever punishment comes my way and I will take it. Dauntless punish their own. Will I be beaten and made factionless? Will I be imprisoned? In a time of war would my actions be punishable by death? So much for my happy ending.

I couldn't sit on the train but after all of this wondering I just need to sit and just be. I lean up against a wall in a small alleyway but it isn't enough. I slide to the ground like the tears are sliding down my cheeks. I miss him. I pull the collars of his jacket together and bring it to my face and inhale. There are no words to describe how it smells but a mixture of leather and man. It smells sweet but sultry. It smells rustic but soothing. I wrap my arms around me thinking about the last time this jacket was full of him and he held me. I hear pain and realize it is coming from me. Sobs make my chest heave and tears soak my shirt. How can one love someone so much that death would be better than being without them?

His eyes. I never met anyone who can smile with their eyes. I've made it a habit to scan a room in search of him as soon as I enter. It doesn't take long. Those eyes call me. His demeanor changes. His stance changes. He goes from Four the instructor, Four the leader, to Tobias all with the sight of me. He smiles with his eyes as one corner of his mouth turns up. When I see him my chest deflates and a warm sensation runs through my heart. When I close my eyes and can see him and that mischievous smile. He walks toward me and I place my hands on his chest. He looks down at me and I see his tongue run across his bottom lip to moisten it before slowly bringing his tempting lips to mine. I can almost feel it. My insides stir when he bites a small piece of his lip when he is deep in though. I marvel at the way he manipulates the guitar. I can barely contain myself when I see him holding that knife in his hands and he spins it around, flips it and catches it with ease. When he sees his target his body and mind are in sync. His mind…what goes on in there? What does he think about? Does he think about me? Does he think about me as much as I think about him? I tip my head back and close my eyes. My fingertips trace the line where he kisses me from my jaw to my ravens. Between kisses he runs his lips down my neck and I feel his hot breath. It is full of desire and want. When we make love we are full of desire and want. Lust burns in us and all sense of thought leaves our minds. It is pure, raw and animalistic. Every touch is like the first touch. Every touch wakes me up and a surge of electricity fills me to my core. I have to go home! I have to talk to him! I need him. I can't be without him.

I look around to gage my whereabouts. I am in an area of 3 to 4 story buildings. Mostly abandoned buildings surround me. Just beyond that building there seems to be a clearing. If I can find the Hub I will know which direction is home. As I walk to the building I think of what I am going to say to him but nothing comes to mind. If I stand there in front of him would he be able to read my eyes? When he looks in my eyes I feel so exposed like he can see to my very soul.

There! I see the Hub. If I walk to the back side of this building and keep heading South-West I should find the Dauntless Compound pretty easily. I must be in sector seven near sector eight. The streets are dark with the exception of periodic emergency lights. Those lights are dim but enough light is emitted so that I can see.

I make it to the back of the building to where the street crosses the road I am on. It looks like it used to be a warehouse. There is a loading dock where trucks used to deliver and receive goods.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Tris. I never thought I would see you again. Though I can't say I'm not going to enjoy this reunion." A male says while stepping from the shadows. "Who are you?" I ask. His voice sounds familiar but I can't put a face to it.

"Come see who came for a visit." He hollers over his shoulder. An equally tall figure emerges from the darkness. They both come into light. Drew and Molly! "Well, if it isn't the Stiff!" Molly smirks. "What? Are you factionless finally?" She asks. "No. I just missed you both so much I thought I'd come by for some tea and a friendly conversation." I say. My sarcastic ass is going to get me into so much trouble. Sometimes I wish I had a filter. "Funny." Drew says in an equally sarcastic tone. "So, where is your big strong boyfriend, Four?" Drew asks but I know his question is rhetorical. His name is like a kick to the stomach. "I bet once you were done sleeping your way to the top you discarded him like your Abnegation manners." Molly spit.

"Molly, are you just jealous that he wouldn't even look at you? Jealous that your only means of sleeping with anyone was sneaking of with Al?" It hurts me to say that since Al is a very good friend and though I do not think of him romantically, any girl would be lucky to have him. "Al was good for a moment but I would have dropped him the moment we became members." She sneers.

"But you didn't become members did you Molly? A stiff kicked your ass and you couldn't hang with the big kids could you? Your fears paralyzed you and left you rocking back and forth in a corner crying for your Mama, didn't they? You came off so big and bad, just like you're trying to do now, but your nothing but coward."

"What makes you think you can talk to me that way? You have no idea who you are messing with Stiff." I know I am getting to her. She crosses her arms and shifts her weight to one foot in a defensive stance. She has no idea who she is messing with!

"Who am I messing with? I'm not messing around, Molly. Was the beating I gave you not enough or do you need a reminder of who _you_ are messing with?" I say with a fierce look in my eye while I slowly step closer to her.

Molly steps toward me and I know it's on. "Can you back up that smart mouth, Tris?"

"I have before and I will again. Bring it, Bitch." I bring my arms up and take my stance. She swings and I duck. I land a punch to her rib cage causing her to exhale sharply. In my peripheral vision I see Drew leaning up against the loading dock with a wicked grin on his face.

Molly's fist collides with my temple. I see white flecks of light in my vision but this only fuels the fire that rages inside me. I feel a trickle from my eye. I touch the area that is stinging and bring my hand back down. Blood. My blood. I see red on my hand but now I see it in my vision. Darkness comes into view and all I see in my mind is Molly. My fire rages on. I attack. I attack like a hungry panther attacking a deer. I will rip her throat out with my teeth. The anger that has built up in me is about to spill over as it boils.

I fight without thought. Elbows and knees and fists collide. I've marked her as my prey and I am hungry. "Drew!" she screams. I have her now!

Drew comes running to her rescue and throws me to the ground. I land on something hard. It digs into my ribs. Drew's foot pushes harder into my spine. Whatever I am laying on has to be moved. Think Tris. Drew is standing on my left. I am face down. His right foot is on my back. I have two arms and two legs free. His weight is on one leg. I look up at him the best I can and see that he is smirking and crossing his arms. Not only is he underestimating his opponent he is letting his guard down. My left arm is lying beside my body and is only a foot from his leg. Can he really be this stupid?

I grab Drew's leg before he even knew what happened. It knocked him off balance and he fell to the ground. 'Don't stay on the ground, get up!' I hear Tobias' voice in my mind. I jump to my feet and put my hands high onto my sides. I feel something. "Are you really that dense, Drew? Did your time on the streets erase your memory of initiation?" I taunt. I reach into my…Tobias's… jacket to realize what I fell on and what I felt when I put my hands on my sides was Tobias's weapon. I walk around the side of Drew so that my back is not to Molly. "Get up Drew." I say. I allow Drew to stand. He tries to lunge at me, as I expected, and I punch him in the throat. Molly comes charging at me. They are both trying to attack me.

"We had no intention of letting you walk away, Tris. Do you really think you can take on both of us? You are too valuable to us now. We know Four is now a leader. You are the perfect bargaining chip. I hope you live through this. Killing you would be so satisfying." Drew says.

"You tried it once, Drew. What makes you so sure you can succeed where you _failed_ last time?" I say while trying to wiggle from Molly's grip. Drew walks up to me and is an inch from my face. Thoughts flood my mind. Head-butt him. Bite his nose until your teeth meet. Knee him between his legs. Getting free from Molly is the easy part. I just have to occupy Drew for a moment. I know just what to do. I head-butt Drew causing him to take a couple steps back from me. My arms are bent back with Molly's arms around my elbows. I throw my weight back using Molly for support. Both of my legs rise into the air with my feet together and I kick with the full strength of my legs into Drew's chest. I have to be quick before he gets up. The force of my kick lands me on top of Molly knocking the air out of her. She lay there gasping as I get to my feet. Drew is already up and coming at me. He makes contact with my face and succeeds at bloodying my nose. I bust his lip and already see a bruise forming on his cheek bone. He is strong. His punches are painful but I won't stop. I can't stop. If I do he will kill me. Drew turns his face in preparation to hit me again. His face and my fist are perfectly aligned. My blow lands right between his eyes. He crumples to the ground and is out cold.

"YOU BITCH!" I hear Molly scream. She is coming at me with a knife. This isn't going to end well. One of us will walk out of here and one of us wont. If she wanted to stop me from hurting Drew then why didn't she jump in and protect him. She really is a coward.

Molly and I fight over the knife. She slices my forearm. The pain causes me to lose my focus for a spit second. That's all the time she needed. Molly hovers over me with the knife in her hand and it is aimed right for my heart. This is real.

I play the scenarios over in my mind. I don't want to kill her. She and Drew said that I would be a good bargaining chip. For what? They want me dead but need me alive. It is clear that Molly is hoping for my death and trying to succeed. It is clear they have joined the factionless army. I have to keep them alive and get them back to Dauntless. Candor can administer Truth Serum and have an abundance of intelligence for us to work from. I don't know how I am going to get them both back to Dauntless but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

All my thoughts last only seconds. Molly raises the knife in both hands and brings it above her head. It appears that I am holding myself in pain.

"Don't move!" I command pointing Tobias's gun up at her. "Move and you die."

Molly is frozen. "Drop the knife, Molly." She doesn't move. "I said drop it!" I shout.

"No." She replies. "You won't shoot me. You can't do it, Tris. It's not in your nature."

Molly lunges toward me with the knife and I fire. Her body falls backward. Her arms and legs lay at awkward angles and the knife lay on the ground by her hand. Blood is pouring from her chest wound. I can't help closing my eyes and looking away. I just killed a human being. I took her life. I saw the sheen fade from her eyes. I killed her.

I have to get out of here. I'm sure if Drew and Molly were here that there are more factionless that are going to come running to the sound of the gunshot. Drew. I have to get Drew back to Dauntless. He would have more inside information than his lackey Molly anyways.

"Drew, wake up." I shout while smacking his face. After a couple of minutes my patience is wearing thin. I take my knuckles and rub it hard on his sternum. A groan escapes his lips and his eye brows scrunch together. "Drew!" I shout. Drew's eyes flutter open. It takes a moment of recognition to set in. "Get up!" I demand. Drew tries to move but it is much too slow for my liking so I grab the front of his shirt and pull. He is unsteady on his feet at first but gains control.

"MOLLY!" He screams when he sees her lying in a pool of blood. "Shut up," I put the barrel of the gun to his forehead, "unless you want to end up like her I suggest you turn around and start walking."

"Where?"

"Dauntless."

"I'm not going back there!"

"You have no choice." I push the gun farther into his skin.

Drew puts his hands up in defeat and turns on his heal. I had figured out the direction we needed to travel but I have to find the train so I can enter Dauntless from the door access by the train instead of the building. I do not trust Drew to jump onto the roof and especially into the net. I can't let him out of my sight for a second.

The walk back to Dauntless was easier than I thought. I heard many people along the way but dodged into alleys to avoid them. If they were the factionless then I did not want to face losing Drew. We need what he knows. "Walk." I command. We leave an alley with the gun to the back of Drew's head. I can see the Dauntless compound up ahead. If I go to the right I should find the tracks. All I have to do is follow them in and pray a train doesn't come. There isn't anywhere to jump off the track to dodge a train unless you want to jump 15-20 feet to mangle your body.

"FREEZE! DO NOT MOVE!" I hear a male shout. Shit. This isn't my day. "Why? Who are you?" I ask. "Blake, Dauntless Patrol. You are not authorized to have a weapon. Lower your weapon."

"I will not lower my weapon until I get this man back to Dauntless."

"Why are you going to Dauntless? Are you stupid or something? Any factionless that steps one foot on Dauntless property will be shot on sight."

"I am not factionless idiot!"

"You are clearly factionless. That jacket isn't even yours. It's huge!" Oh God. I'm going to use the Four card aren't I. I roll my eyes.

"I am Dauntless. My name is Tris. This jacket is not mine. It belongs to my fiancé, Four."

"Tris?"

"Yes."

"Where the hell have you been!? Are you aware that everyone is looking for you?"

"I am now. Are you going to lower your weapon, Blake, so I can continue on my way?"

"I have orders to escort you back to Dauntless if I found you. You are coming with me." Oh this day just keeps getting better and better. Soon I will be back at Dauntless with Blake at my side waiting for his kudos and staring into the eyes of the lovely Eric. I don't care what they do to me but Drew knows too much. He has to make it back there alive.

"Who is that?" He points to Drew with his gun.

"He is a factionless. He and his girlfriend tried to kill me. I'm taking him back to Dauntless so he can be interrogated. He is a former Dauntless initiate and an asshole so he has to know something about the 'uprising' of the factionless." I say with boredom.

"Where is his girlfriend?" He asks. "Dead." I tell him. I explain to Blake where to find Molly's body. I tell him the Patrol my want to remove her body before the factionless find it with a Dauntless bullet lodged into her chest. Blake retrieves his radio mic from where it is clipped to his shoulder. He identifies himself and tells the Patrol where to locate the body and to get it to Dauntless. Anyone else listening wouldn't understand what he was saying since he is using code.

"Base to Blake." Shit. That is Eric.

"Blake to Base, Go ahead Base."

"Is the victim Six?" Six? I laugh to myself. Four. Eric's tone is flat and seems to carry an inkling of fear. He has abandoned code. It must be fear in his voice.

"Negative, Sir, I have the package and am returning to base. ETA four minutes."

"10-4 Soldier. Good work." Blake smiles. "You can lower your weapon, Ma'am, I can take it from here."

"No offense, Blake, but I prefer to escort him to Dauntless. I will not have him getting away." Blake nods at me and we make our way back to Dauntless quickly. Drew hasn't spoken since I put the gun to his head and made him walk. He knows he is headed into the lion's den but he doesn't know how many lions there will be or how hungry they are for his blood.

As we get closer I see a dark figure leaning up against the side of the wall. He has one foot propped up against the wall and periodically I see and orange glow near his face. We are back at Dauntless and Eric steps away from the wall. We now have five Patrol Officers walking behind us as we approach him. Eric throws down a cigarette and twists his foot over it.

"Take him to a cell." Eric commands the Officers. "Tris," he says while cocking his head, "follow me." I follow Eric into the compound. He stops in a dimly lit hallway and turns to me. "What were you thinking, Tris." He says with more concern and disbelief. I didn't think this voice would ever come from Eric. "I wasn't thinking, Eric. I needed as much distance from Four as I could get." I'm honest with Eric. There is no point in lying to him. "Do you realize how many rules you broke tonight? Do you realize how many Officers were searching for you? Do you realize what you put Four through?" Since when did he start caring what Four is going through?

"Eric, honestly, rules were the last thing on my mind. I had to get away. I'm sorry I put so many people through all of this." I purposely don't mention Tobias. I have been so wrapped up in Drew and Molly that I had put my pain on the back burner. It is all flooding back now. Tears start to fill my eyes. Not in front of Eric, I tell myself. Don't let him see you be vulnerable. Eric preys on the weak.

"He is never going to forgive me." I blurt out. Tears fall from my eyes and sting my cuts. Eric does the unthinkable. He grabs me and pulls me into his arms. I never thought I would be hugging Eric but at this moment I need to be held. I wrap my arms around Eric's waist and sob into his shirt. "Tris," Eric whispers into my ear, "Four loves you." Is this really Eric? The same Eric that let Christina dangle from the Chasm? I don't care. I need his arms. I need his shoulder to cry on. If he is willing to be here for me then I am willing to let him. Eric pulls back and tips my head up to meet his gaze. He wipes my tears with his thumbs. "Everything will work itself out. Right now I need to get you to the infirmary." Eric pulls back and takes his radio from his hip.

"Base to Four, Six obtained. Return to base."

"Base advise condition. Over."

"Six stable. One DOA and One in custody. Over." Tobias doesn't respond as quickly as he did before.

"Four to Base, 10-76" (En Route to location)

"Copy, Four. 10-77" (ETA to arrival)

"Four to Base, 7 minutes out. Advise patrol arrival via roof. Over."

"Copy, Four."

"Where is he?" I ask Eric. He shakes his head as if confused that I asked him that. "He is looking for you." Oh God what have I done. I close my eyes and shake my head. Tears threaten to surface but I have to fight it. "How bad is he, Eric?" I ask hesitantly. "Bad, Tris."

Eric leads me to the infirmary. Marlene is working tonight. I am happy to see a friendly face. She assesses me and finds that I do not have any broken bones. She shines a small light into my eyes and quickly removes it then brings it back again. "You don't seem to have a concussion. Your ribs are not broken but will be sore for a few days." Marlene asks me what happened but I just shake my head. I can't talk about it right now. It is starting to sink in that I killed someone. I took her life from her. It wasn't my life to take. What kind of person am I? I cause destruction everywhere I go. Why should I try to mend things with Tobias? I'm just going to keep hurting him. If I just let him go now it will save him the pain I will cause him in the future.

"Mmm that stings Marlene what is that?" Marlene is running a green liquid along the gash in my arm caused by Molly's knife. "It is a healing serum developed by Erudite. It's quite extraordinary! Normally this type of wound would require stitches but by applying this serum and butterfly strips to your arm it will be closed around twelve hours from now." I raise my eyebrows in approval. That is pretty cool. Erudite may be uptight snobs but they do a lot of good for our city.

"I need some fresh water. I will be back to clean up those hands and your face."

"Thank you Marlene." I smile at her. Marlene smiles back at me and leaves the room. I slide Marlene's seat closer to me and rest my feet flat on the seat. I put my elbows on my knees and rest my head in my hands. The weight of the world landed on me and I don't know how to process everything. I took a life and I broke a heart. My heart breaks, too. I love him. I love him with all that I am. That is the only thing I know for sure about myself. Four and Tris. Tris and Four. It's the only thing that has ever made sense in my screwed up life. I can't keep hurting him. I have to let him go. I just need more time. I hear the door open. I'm not ready to face Marlene.

"Marlene can you just give me a few minutes, please." I say to Marlene with my head still in my hands.

"Tris…" a broken voice whispers. I close my eyes. My heart burns and pain fills me to my core. I turn my head to see him. Pain streaks across his face. He eyes are pleading. "What do you want, Tobias." I ask coldly. I have to make him see that I am not good for him. I can't drag this out.

"Are you ok, Tris?" He asks warily. I close my eyes. The way he says my name…I can't resist him. I need his arms around me. I need to tell him what I did to Molly. That is if he doesn't already know. Tobias starts to walk toward me slowly. "No, Tobias, I'm not ok." I return my head to my hands. I close my eyes and shake my head. I can't get the image out of my mind. Molly is standing there with the knife in both fists. With a flash of light she is flying backwards. A pool of blood quickly forms around her still body. I hated the way she was. I hated the evil in her heart. I hated the way she treated me. But…to somebody she was something.

"Four." Marlene says. "Hello, Marlene." He replies. "As soon as I finish getting her cleaned up you can take her home." Home? Would he even want me back in that apartment after the horrible and hateful things I said to him. Four takes the metal bowl from Marlene. "Let me, please, Marlene." She nods. "Thank you." He says. Please don't touch me Tobias. I couldn't handle your touch right now. "Put this on it when her wounds are clean." Marlene instructs Tobias and hands him the green liquid. "She can take this to help her sleep and these every four hours for pain." Tobias takes the bottles and puts them in his jacket which is laying across the bed beside me.

"May I?" He asks. I move my feet from the seat in front of me and Tobias sits. He places the bowl on the floor and grabs the rag and squeezes. "Please." He says while holding his hand out to me. I place my hand in his and feel the electricity. Why does he do this to me? Quite a few hours ago I couldn't get enough of it but right now it's working against me. "What happened?" He asked. I place my free hand on my forehead and squeezed my eyes tight and shaking my head. If I open my mouth right now I'm going to cry again. I'm supposed to be a soldier not a stone cold killer. "Not right now." I finally say.

"Let's get you cleaned up so I can take you home." He says gently. "Why would you want me back there with you?" I question. "We do have a lot to talk about but it can wait. Right now I want to take you home and let you get some sleep."

"I can stay in the back room at the Tattoo Shop." I can't be a reminder to him of everything I screwed up.

He places his hand on the side of my face, "No, Tris, Please come home with me. Let me take care of you." His voice is so beautiful. "Maybe I don't need taken care of." I say weakly. "Maybe I know that but I need to take care of you." He says.

I let him dab at the cut by my eye and the slice at the corner of my mouth. Tobias cleans up the dried blood that had run down my face and neck. "This is going to sting." He says reaching for the green liquid. "Yes, unfortunately, I am aware." He looks up at me then returns his attention to my hands and dabs the liquid to my cuts. I gasp a short gasp and place my hand on his involuntarily. He looks up at me with questions in his eyes. "Sorry." I say. "It's ok." He says.

Tobias tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. My body again defies me and I close my eyes and exhale. I purse my lips together and let out a little groan when he dabs the liquid near my eye and mouth. He takes my hand in his and gives a gentle squeeze. He is cautious of my wounds. "Can I take you home, Tris." He asks. I take a long blink followed by a short one. I look up at him and finally meet his gaze. "Please." It is all I can get out.

I stand with Tobias supporting me to make sure I am steady on my feet. He reaches into his jacket and removes the gun and places it at the small of his back then wraps his jacket around me. I turn my head to my shoulder and inhale the familiar scent of leather and Tobias. I open my eyes to see him grin. "Let's get you home."


	20. Chapter 18

**A/N...Thank you all for your patience with me over the past few days as I recovered from being sick. Your IM's and Reviews really help brighten my day. I read each and every one and always reply to your questions.**

Chapter 18

~~~Tris~~~

Tobias keeps his arm around my shoulder. "I have to swing by and see Eric real quick." Tobias says. "I'll go on to the apartment then." I respond. "It will only take a minute." To this I don't argue. I am perfectly capable of walking home but I know Tobias won't let me out of his sight. We walk to Eric's place in silence. Tobias said we have a lot to talk about and I know we do. I don't know if he realizes what it is that I need to say. Until just this moment I start to wonder what it is that he wants to say.

Eric doesn't answer his door so we head home. My heart rate starts to slowly rise because I know we are going to have to talk about everything. I doubt he will let this wait until morning. I just need to wash this day off of me and lay in the comfort of our bed. I am scared. I am scared of what I will say and of what he will say. Can I really say what it is that I am feeling? Will I end up changing my mind? I am still the girl I was 24 hours ago but I am not. I am no longer that girl. I have grown in ways that only comes with age. I am 17 now but no longer just a girl. I am a self-reliant woman.

I left Tobias. I broke my promise. I broke him but he broke me. I take a deep breath as we enter the apartment.

"Oh God, What is that smell?" Tobias asks. It really is bad but I know what it is. I walk over to the warmer in the kitchen with Tobias several feet behind me. I grab a dish towel and reach into the warmer and pull the plate from it. I turn off the warmer, which stays at 150 degrees, and drop the plate in the sink. "It was your dinner." I say. Tobias' face softens and he smirks at me. If he keeps looking at me like that I swear we will just end up in bed and we won't work out what happened. We have to talk about this or it will destroy us inside. Even if we decide to go our different ways, we have to talk about this.

I break our eye contact and turn to the bedroom. Tobias stands in the doorway while I grab clothes from the dresser. I lay my clothes on the bed and run my fingers through my hair. Tobias walks closer to me. He is too close to me. I sit on the end of the bed to try to get a little distance from him. I can't be close to him right now. If I get close I am liable to break. Our fight was like a sword in my heart and taking a life has shaken me to my core. It wasn't my life to take. I am not God and I had no right to kill her. It was either my life or her life. What makes my life worth more than hers? I have to get to the shower but I know I will never be able to wash the blood from my hands. It will be there forever. I stand but now I am face to face with Tobias. Our hands remain at our sides but our breaths increase in frequency.

"If I don't touch you, Tris," he shakes his head and closes his eyes, "I may explode."

"If you touch me, Tobias, _I_ may explode. I can't lose it right now." I admit.

"You can be open with me. There isn't anything that you can do or say to make me stop loving you. I feel like I always have and God knows I always will."

Tobias places his hand on the side of my face. The heel of his hand is on my cheek and his fingers reach my neck. His hands are so strong. The electricity of his touch creates butterflies in my stomach. I finally look him in his eyes. I see the love he has for me. I can't stop myself. I need him right now. I have never needed anything more in my life.

"Tobias…" I breathe. In situations like this I use his real name when I need something soothing and full of love but when I need to be taken I call him Four. I place my hand on his chest and I see a spark in his eyes. "Tobias, I need you." My breath quickens as tears start to cloud my vision. "Please, Tobias." I kiss him gently and a tear escapes and runs down my cheek. "Please help me forget."

Tobias places his hand over mine. "Tris, I love you more than my own life. I want nothing more than you make love to you. But I want that so I can show you my love and feel yours in return."

"I do love you. It isn't the sex, babe, it is your love. I need your love to help me forget the hate and evil I experienced tonight." My words become desperate. I place my hands on his face and stroke his face with my thumbs, "I need to know that for all the evil there is good. I need to know that where there is dark there is also light. I need to know that after hate there is love. I need to know that with death there is life. I survived out there and I need to know that we survived in here." Tears stream down my face. I was prepared to let him go. I was going to tell him if he had no faith in me then he had no faith in us. But right here and right now it all seems to blend. He doesn't exist and I don't exist. We exist and I can't exist without him.

Tobias wipes my tears. His chest rises and falls quicker. I look into his eyes and tears start to form in his eyes as well. I have never seen him like this. He is 'Four', the tough, dominating, and intimidating man who is nearly fearless. I would never have imagined him like this.

"Tris," He shakes his head and slowly a grin comes to his face and his teary eyes clear, "Don't you understand? I can't make you forget. All I can do is be there for you every moment of forever." He touches my ring. "There is evil and death all over this city. There is hate and dark right outside this door. You are the good and the life. You are the love and the light. You are the opposite of everything you despise. Please don't get me wrong, like I said I would love nothing more than to make love _with_ you right here and right now. I just need to know it is for all the right reasons. Shouldn't we have that talk first?"

"We should." I say. I place my hands back on Tobias and pull him to me. I kiss him deeply. We should talk first but I want this before anything changes. Of course we love each other. There is no denying that we have love that neither of us imagined existed. I can't forget the fight and what caused the fight. It had nothing to do with the war or our love. It had everything to do with faith and trust. When that breaks, we break.

Tobias's hands are around my waist pulling me closer and closer. There is desperation in his kiss. My arms wrap around his neck. "You're my beginning and my end, Tris." He whispers. What did he mean? Who cares. The way he says my name unravels me. Soon I am swept off of my feet and we are on the bed. The desperation that started in my voice and came from his kiss is now in both of our bodies. The pain in my arm and on my face is present but with each caress and each kiss it begins to fade. I can't get his shirt off fast enough. I run my hands over his muscles. He is so strong and could hurt me or even kill me but his touch is so gentle. I need him. I am burning. Tobias presses himself against me. I can feel he wants me as much as I want him. A moan escapes my throat when his hard length rubs against the sweet spot that shoots pleasure through my mind. He continues rubbing and pressing into me. When I grab his lower back and dig my nails in he lets out a throaty moan. His hands wrap into my hair bringing my mouth to his deeper. I my heart is pounding in my ears.

"Shit." Tobias says. He hangs his head down to catch his breath. "What's wrong?" I ask. "The door. Someone is pounding on the door. You didn't hear it?" He asks. "I thought it was my heart." I grin. He grins and kisses me on the forehead. "I'll get it," he says, "don't go anywhere." He slowly slides down my body while pressing into that sweet spot as he goes. I close my eyes, "Mmm." Tobias chuckles and pulls his shirt on trying to cover his excitement.

A few minutes go by and Tobias leans into the doorway to our room. "It is Max and Eric. They want to talk to you."

"I didn't think this would happen so soon. I thought I would have until tomorrow." I say.

"For what?" he asks with a furrowed brow. "To be beaten by my leaders in the pit for defying my faction. To become factionless." I say. "I won't let that happen." Tobias tells me. "You can't protect me forever."

"That is what I am most afraid of." He says under his breath but I hear him. Tobias comes over to me and hands me a folded piece of paper. "This was taped to the door. It's addressed to you." I open it to see it is from Derrick. I tell Tobias I will read it later.

"Max. Eric." I nod my head in greeting. "Please, have a seat." They both take a seat on the couch. Eric sits with one leg outstretched and an ankle crossing his knee. He looks as if it's his couch. At least he is comfortable here and not trying to tear Tobias to shreds. As if he could. "I know this isn't a personal visit but can I offer you a drink?"

"Thank you, Tris." Max says. "Water? Juice? Ice tea? Beer? Soda?" I question. "Tea." Max says. I look to Eric. "Beer." He says as if my question was stupid. I go to the fridge and get their drinks. I grab some cran-raspberry juice for myself and a bottle of water for Tobias. I don't even have to ask him what he wants anymore. I know he always has water later at night. He smiles at me.

Max looks at me like he is analyzing me. I know he is wondering where to start. "I know what I have done, Max. It was not intentional but I know there will be consequences to my actions and I will accept them without question." Tobias just looks over at me.

"And what do you think you have done, Tris?" Max questions. I know when there has been a betrayal to a faction that the person has to tell their leaders what infraction they have committed prior to them being sentenced.

"I think I owe it to Four to tell him what I have done. As my family, I don't want him to find out this way." I say.

"It's ok, Tris. You need to tell us what happened. I am your family but I am also a leader of Dauntless. I need to know." Tobias says, and then he winks at me to let me know his loyalty is with me.

I take a deep breath, "I left the compound against orders from my leaders. By doing so, I put myself into danger. I created chaos among my leaders and caused unnecessary work to the Patrol Officers. I interacted with the factionless and committed murder." I look at Tobias to see his eyebrows rise. "My interaction will not be taken lightly by the factionless and I am positive there will be retaliation against Dauntless. My actions will be seen as an act against them by Dauntless and not by myself. I put us all in danger." The severities of my actions are hitting me now. I look to Tobias. He is bouncing his knee and wringing his hands. He is either scared or seething. I can't tell the difference from his emotionless face.

"That's all true, Tris. You are forgetting one thing." Max says.

"What have I forgotten?" I ask.

"You put one of your leaders in danger." He says.

"I said I put us all in danger."

"Yes, you _have_ put us all in danger. However, your actions caused a leader to also leave the compound to search for you. He could have been seriously injured or killed. I don't think you realize what an integral part of Dauntless leadership Four really is. We can't lose him, Tris. Dauntless needs him."

I stare at Max. Then glance to Tobias. "So do I." I say quietly and close my eyes.

Eric has been quiet this entire time. It isn't like him to not say anything. Six months ago he would have hung me from the Chasm and stomped on my fingers just to watch Tobias in pain. What has happened to him?

"Why did you leave?" Max asks. I look at Tobias and he nods his head. How can I tell my leaders that I got into an argument with my boyfriend and stormed off like a child? I wonder if he is nodding because I have to tell my leader what happened of if he wants to know.

"I needed distance." I say. "Distance? From what? Dauntless?" He asks. "NO, no…not from Dauntless." I close my eyes and when I open them I am looking at Tobias. I try to swallow my pain but when I speak there is agony in my voice. "From Four." Tobias's jaw clenches and his knee stops bouncing. Tobias places his elbows on his knees and looks down at his hands. Concern comes over Eric and Max's face. I suddenly wish I was sitting with him on the couch instead of the stool I took from the island. I feel like I should be comforting him or is it me that needs his comfort.

"I don't want into your personal lives, Four, but is there anything I need to know about what caused her to run off." Max asks.

"I didn't want her to find out tomorrow about the Factionless uprising. I felt I owed it to her to tell her tonight. She wanted to join patrols and fight. I told her no." Tobias says. Tobias looks at me. His stern face does not reach his eyes. "You ran off because he told you no?" Max looks puzzled and if I am reading him right he looks ashamed. "It wasn't quite like that." I add. "I left for several reasons. I understand he couldn't tell me sooner. He is loyal to his faction and his position. When I voiced that I wanted to join the fight he got angry with me. I felt that he didn't trust me or believe in me. He said he just wanted to protect me but I didn't join Dauntless, a warrior faction, to be locked up in an apartment while everyone else fights a war that I am capable of fighting. I wanted to get distance between us because…" I hesitate.

"Because?" Max questions. "Because," I shake my head willing myself not to say this to my leader, "I can't control myself around him and he makes my thoughts…fuzzy." Max laughs and Eric joins in. Even Tobias betrays me with a smirk. "I'm glad you all are enjoying yourselves." Now I am angry. "Just sentence me and get this over with Max." Max's face straightens. "What do you think you deserve?" Max says. Tobias's leg starts to bounce again. "Max, I think there is more to the story. It can't be this simple." Eric chimes in. "What aren't you telling us, Tris." He says.

Tobias interrupts. "I wouldn't let her leave. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back into the apartment. A little too rough because when I did that I knocked her to the floor." Tobias face is full of pain and guilt.

"What?" I stand up. "Four, you didn't knock me to the ground! Yes, you grabbed my arm to make me stay but when you brought me back into the apartment I tripped. You didn't knock me to the ground! That isn't why I left. I left because I needed to think. I felt like I was being treated like a child and not part of this faction. I spent my life in Abnegation never feeling like I belonged and I finally feel like I am home. I felt like you didn't want me. I felt like you didn't need me. Then you turned into leader mode and treated me like…." I can't think. Tobias stands and comes over to me. He places his hands on my upper arms. "Tris, you are not a child, you are a very, very, stubborn woman," he laughs, "but I'm sorry I made you feel like that." I stand there looking up at him. Everything I was going to say has left my mind. I place my hands on his hips and use his belt loops to bring him closer. "Eric is talking to you Tris." Tobias says. It takes a minute for his words to sink in. When they do I hear laughter. I turn and glare at Eric. "What's so funny, Eric?" I sneer. "Ya know what? Four does a lot of things to a lot of people. I have seen him royally piss people off. I have seen him intimidate people. I have seen him be a prick and a badass. I have never seen him do _that_." Eric laughs.

"That?" I ask. "Nothing, Tris." Eric laughs. Max asks, "Four, can you lead Tris effectively? Can you be partial to her punishment? Could you be involved in her punishment?"

"Are you asking if I could beat her in front of Dauntless and send her to be factionless? Could I kill her if that is her sentence? Would I let my feelings for her interfere with my ability to lead? Let me ask you, Max. You keep your life private but could you beat or kill Emily? Could you beat or kill Zoey, Eric? Could you two separate yourselves from your roles as leaders? Could you stand by while Eric and I beat Emily? Eric, could you keep our truce if I beat Zoey or held a gun to her head."

They both look at Tobias. Eric clenches his jaw at the thought. "No, Four, I couldn't." Eric says. "Does that make you a traitor? Does that make you less of a leader, Eric? Faction before Blood, right?" Tobias says. "No," he adds, "I cannot be partial. I cannot separate myself as a leader. To anyone else, yes, but not to Tris."

There is silence. "What I am about to say," Max says forcefully, "will never, ever, leave this room. Do we all understand and agree?" We all say yes as if it was a question and not a command. "We have discovered that the three of us cannot separate ourselves as leaders when it comes to family. As leaders we are to keep peace in our compound. We are to be examples of what Dauntless are to be. The three of us have to be able to trust each other. I did not walk into this room with the thought that we would punish Tris with a beating, factionlessness, or death. It is the foundation of Dauntless that this is a brotherhood and when one person steps out of line it affects us all but we also have each other's backs."

"Are you saying you are willing to cover this up and ignore the reality of what I have done?" I ask. "Very perceptive, Tris." Max says. "I can't ask you to do that. I am Dauntless and I accept my fate." I say in all seriousness. "And that is why you belong here, Tris. I am not one to break the rules. It is my job to enforce the rules and laws. This is not a free ride to become a rebel and think that our families are invincible. I am doing this because it is what is morally right. You know you did wrong but you have no idea what you have done right, do you?" I did something right?

"How can murder be right, Max?" I ask. "Tris, do you really think it was murder? What you did was self-defense. If you hadn't killed her she would have killed you." Max says.

"Taking a life is murder. It makes me a killer." I explain. Max looks up and to his left and takes a breath. Is he angry with me or contemplating his next move? Eric interrupts Max in thought, "We are trained to kill. You survived because Four trained you to kill. _He_ is trained to kill. And as an instructor in training you are learning how to train future initiates how to kill. A lot of us have been where you are right now, Tris. Eight months before initiation there was a riot and Four and I led a team to break it up with force. It isn't easy to take a life but we have to be ready to do it at a moment's notice. We have to do it for a greater good, to protect ourselves, or to protect those who cannot protect themselves." There was a riot and Tobias, at the age I am now, was in the middle of it. Did he kill someone? Is that how he knows what it is like in a war situation? What exactly have those eyes seen?

"Why did you kill one and not the other?" Max asks me. "I'll explain but hang in there with me, Ok? I have to find the right words." The three of them nod and I take my seat on the stool while Tobias sits back on the couch. "The two of them were both coming at me. I fought them both off and like I expected they kept coming back. I was knocked down and I landed on Four's gun. I didn't know it was in his jacket until that point. I knew I couldn't stay down because I would open myself up and I had better chances with them one at a time. So, I used the handle of the gun to knock Drew out then I could turn my attention to Molly. I knew they would have important information that we could use. They are not the type to stay out of a conflict. I figured Molly was just some lackey and Drew would be more valuable. It was not my intent to kill her but at the same time I couldn't let her get away and get information back to the factionless. She came at me to kill me and I had to sacrifice her to get Drew back here. So I slapped him awake and held him at gunpoint. I made him walk back here."

The three of them sit there waiting for me to say more but…that's all I got.

Tobias is looking at me. Is that pride on his face?

"No disrespect to your instructing abilities, Four, but you can't teach that in any class." Eric says. "No, you can't. Four?" Max look to Tobias. "She has been training to instruct for the past 3 months." Tobias starts, "Tomorrow, after we explain what is going on, I think it would be valuable to refresh training with the squads. Some of Dauntless have been out of initiation for many years and could use some refreshing. I'm sure they can protect themselves in any situation but most of them have never been in a conflict or a war. I suggest taking some of the people who have been in those situations and pairing them up with an instructor."

"That's a good idea." Max and Eric say in unison. "After the announcement tomorrow we will still get volunteers for the 5 squads. Eric, if you can group those people according to the purpose of each team then we can set them up for training. Four, if you can set up training and instructors we can get started right away." Tobias nods his head in agreement. Seeing him working in an official capacity is actually turning me on. Tobias is leaning on his knees again. His jaw is clenched and his arms are flexing. He is in deep thought. Oh and so am I! Even though I see him right in front of me, in my mind I am seeing him over me. He looks down at me with those eyes! Those eyes that say I am his. Why is it that I can't relinquish control but I love when he is controlling in bed? Uhh, Can Max and Eric leave fast enough?

"Tris?" Tobias looks at me with a smirk on his face. "Yeah," I squeak out and clear my throat, "Yeah?"

"As we were saying, since you are not a fully certified instructor, you will be paired with me. Eric will pair with Shauna, and once I talk to Zeke he will pair with Lauren. Max, we don't know how long we will have for training. Each team will need trained in self-defense and fighting, marksmanship, and combat as well as training for their individual tasks." Tobias explains.

"Since two teams have the same tasks but in different areas we could combine them for training." Eric says. "We could," Tobias says, "but we really need them to work and act as a team."

"What if we do two shifts a day?" I ask. Tobias and Eric look at me and consider what I have said. "It could work." Eric says. "What do you have in mind?" Tobias asks.

"If we have 5 squads for whatever plan you have set in action then they should, like Four said, be trained individually. Most initiates bond during initiation and usually stick together after. So if those 5 teams train together and go through drills together then they are in it together. As you said, Max, Dauntless is a brotherhood but the teams need to bond and know that they can trust each other. Let's say we split the day in two. The first part of the day, we split the 5 squads into three groups. Each of the three sets of instructors will train one group. The first group can be training on fitness, endurance, teamwork, and skilled techniques. The second group can be training on combat, and the third group can be training on marksmanship. The second half of the day, we could divide up into the five squads. Each instructor can take a squad and go through individualized training according to their mission. The instructor training a squad would then become the squad leader." When I finish my suggestion, Max, Eric, and Tobias are nodding. "That's an excellent plan." Tobias says. "Max?" Tobias asks. "I agree. Tobias you are lead trainer so you and Tris plan out the first half of the day. Find your trainers. Eric you get the plans gathered for the second half of the day. I want you to explain the individual squad missions to the instructor in charge of that squad." Max says.

Max, Eric, and Tobias go on talking. I have several questions but they don't really pertain to what they are talking about. I excuse myself and head into the bedroom. I just need a moment alone. I went from passion and desire to planning a war on the factionless. Six months ago I never would have thought this would be my life. I always thought I would marry and have kids and feed the factionless. I would go through the motions of life until I die. Now I am with Tobias. Quite possibly the sexiest man alive. He is in our living room as a leader of our faction. He holds so much power and strength. I sit on the bed and continue thinking about Tobias. He just amazes me. He is so protective of me and I think I have been viewing it all wrong. He wants to protect me because he doesn't want to lose me. I don't want to lose him either. Shit. I just made him leader of a squad. I just placed him in the middle of a war. I lay back but and hear a paper crinkle under my head. It's the letter from Derrick.

_Tris,_

_We liked your audition and would like you to do a live tryout. We want you to perform a few songs with us at the party in a few days but would also like you to perform a few original songs. We need to get several practices in so get with me as soon as you can. Thanks!_

_Derrick_

If there is a party I will be too busy training killers. I walk to the living room and the three quiet down. "I'm sorry I interrupted." I say raising my hand. I start to turn away. "No, it's ok Tris, what is that?" Tobias points to the letter. "Oh, it's just the letter from Derrick. That's not why I came in here. I actually had a question for the three of you. Um…The four of us aren't the only ones that know what happened tonight. Marlene knows. The Patrol Officers on duty tonight also know I was out of the compound. They were trying to help find me. I'm not comfortable lying to my faction. I'm not a coward. I'll take what I deserve."

"We have been through this, Tris." Max says. "What you did was wrong but good will come from it. I'm contacting Jack in the morning to get truth serum for Drew. We will find out more about the factionless. It was planned that you were sent with Four on a mission to get more information but you got separated. That is when we advised the Patrol to look for you. You came across Drew and Molly. That's what happened. Understand?"

I nod. I know this is his final comment on the subject. "Yes, sir." I say. The formality is warranted. I look to Tobias. "I'm going to shower and go to bed. Here," I hand the letter to Tobias, "I forgot about the party in a few days. I don't know how it will work after tomorrow so I wanted to remind you." I lean down and give him a quick kiss. "Don't rush on my account." I say to Max and Eric. When I reach the bedroom door I turn back to Eric, "Thank you for earlier." Eric nods and I close the bedroom door behind me.


	21. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

~~~Tobias~~~

I hear the water start and think about Tris being in the shower. I wish she wasn't alone in there. "You know, after tomorrow they're going to need this." I hold the folded letter in two fingers and motion with it. "Yeah, I was thinking about that." Max says. "Let's do this," Eric suggests, "We make the announcement after dinner tomorrow," he looks at his watch, "or today. We'll start getting volunteers and set up the squads. We can take a couple days to make all the arrangements for training and let everyone blow off some steam at the party. We can start training a day or so after that. I don't think the factionless will seek revenge right away. The people leading them know our compound. They have to be from Dauntless. Losing Drew and Molly had to change whatever it is that they had planned. They will need to regroup and plan their attack."

Eric makes some sense. God, I'm agreeing with Eric? He is still a dick. He will always be a dick. I run my hands on the back of my neck. All I want is to crawl in that bed with Tris and wrap my arms around her.

"I think we should start training the day after the party." I say. "The day after? Wont all the squads be drunk or hung-over." Eric says. "Since when did you get a heart, Eric?" I laugh. "They gotta be ready for anything. Should we hold their hair while they puke? War isn't going to be easy on them." I say. "Day after the party it is then." Max nods. "I better get going. I'm sending someone early in the morning to bring Jack and the serum back here. It seems like we got a lot planned tonight so I'll send someone up to get you both when I know more about Jack."

"The compound is pretty big," Eric says. With my elbows on my knees, I turn my head toward him. "We need a way to be in constant contact and quickly. Do we have a secure channel on the walkies?" Eric finishes.

We decide to use the walkies on a lower channel. Our main channel is 19 and the Gate Officers use 12. We have to be careful using the walkies for classified info so we discuss using alternate codes. Instead of the 10 codes we will be using the 11 codes and other code words and names. Max heads out and I ask Eric to hang back. "Another beer?" I ask. "Sure" he says.

I wanted to talk to him about a few things. One thing I wanted to ask about is Tris and what she thanked him for tonight. I also wanted to figure out how we would create the squads. I know Tris will volunteer. It isn't in her to not give herself to this cause. I can't and won't stop her no matter how much I want to stop her.

"Tonight…" I shake my head, "What happened when Tris…" I start. I can't find the words to continue. I want to ask everything at once but don't know how. I don't even know if I want to hear his answers. That is if he will tell me the truth. Eric looks at me and nods then takes a sip of his beer.

"Four," he takes a breath and I rub the back of my neck trying to relieve the tension in my body. "I was outside waiting by the tracks when she came up. She had Drew at gunpoint. Blake told me later that he tried to take over and get Drew back to the compound but Tris wouldn't let him. She told him she wasn't going to risk him getting away." He gives a chuckle and shakes his head. "Man, she had Blake beside her and five officers behind her. He wasn't going anywhere." Eric laughs again.

I give a grin and shake my head as well. "Yeah, that's Tris." I want to know more but I don't know what to ask or how to ask. I want to know everything. I want to know what she went through. "What happened next?" I say flatly.

"I had the officers take Drew to a cell and I took Tris down a few corridors leading to the infirmary. I asked her what the hell she was thinking. She said she wasn't thinking and just needed distance from you."

I take a deep breath and fall back into my seat. My head tips back and I run my hands over my face trying to erase what I had done. Nothing will erase the image of her looking up at me from the floor. I will never forget it nor will I ever forgive myself.

"Tris asked me where you were and I told her you were out looking for her. Until that point she was like a rock. Tough as nails." He says with a bit of pride in his voice.

"And after that point?" I ask. "She tried hard not to cry then she lost it and said you would never forgive her." I would never forgive her? I was the one who was wrong. Tris did nothing wrong. Sure she left and that broke me but with the way I acted I don't blame her. I shake my head. I know Tris better than anyone but I still don't think I will ever figure her out.

"I can't stand the thought of her like that. Alone. No one to comfort her. I should have been there." I said. I can't believe I am talking to Eric about this but if I don't let it out it will build in me until I break. "She wasn't alone. I was there." Eric says. "I know but not the way…" I tried to say. "Yes, I was." Eric said. My head snaps toward Eric. My eyes burning into his. "Not that way, Four. I only did what I would want someone to do for Zoey. I held her and reminded her you love her. I told her everything would work out and just told her you love her very much." Eric admitted. He looks down to his lap. I can tell he doesn't want to have this type of conversation with me but something is changing between us. I don't know if I like it and it will never be like Zeke and I but it's ok.

"Look Eric. I know we have a truce for now. I'm not going to pretend to understand this," I motion between us, "but it isn't that bad is it? You may be a dick but I'm not the bad guy." I laugh.

"You may be growing on me, Stiff, but don't push it." Eric laughs as well.

"I've got somewhere to be." I motion to the bedroom door. Eric shakes his head with a wicked grin. "Ya." He chuckles. I walk Eric to the door so I can lock it behind him. He leaves the walkie I had given him earlier and I set it to channel 3. When Eric gets to the door I thank him for taking care of Tris and he gives me a nod before leaving.

After a quick shower I stand at the foot of the bed and look at Tris laying there. She looks so peaceful. My angel. I notice she is wearing one of my t-shirts. It's the one I wore to bed last night. I wonder why she didn't grab one from the dresser. Last night seems like it has been ages ago. I don't know how much time we have together. I don't know what is going to come from this impending war. I won't lose her. Even if it costs me my life I will protect her.

"Tobias." She whispers with a groggy voice. Tris rolls from her side and pulls the covers down on my side of the bed. "Come to bed." I can think of nothing I'd rather do that hold her in my arms right now. I wish I could stay in this moment forever. I want to shut out the outside world and pretend nothing is happening out there. Pretend there is no one plotting our deaths or threatening a war that will change us forever.

I climb into bed and pull the blankets over me. I scoot up to Tris and pull her toward me. I hear her sigh. I grin. I love that she loves me. I love that I can comfort her. I love everything about her. I hold her snug against me and breathe in her scent. She smells sweet and like everything good in this world. Her hand covers mine and her fingers trace patterns on my hand. I take a deep breath and relax when I exhale all the bad from the day. Right here and now I am at peace. I have the girl of my dreams and she loves me too. Nobody has ever loved me, especially a love like this. Soon her grip on my hand relaxes and I know she is in a safe place. It is ok for me to give in to sleep now.

I wake with a startle. I hear a noise from outside our room. I had shifted to my back during my sleep. I remove my hand from behind my head and feel for Tris. She is gone. My heart sinks in my chest. Am I dreaming? She wouldn't leave me…would she? I hear the noise again. I sit up and scoot to the bottom of the bed. Our bedroom door is open just an inch so I push the door open. There is the noise again. It is the piano. I stand outside the spare room we use as a music room and listen to the most beautiful melody. I lean against the wall and close my eyes so that all my focus is on the sound she is creating. It's amazing. I don't recognize it so it has to be new. The notes start to come faster and I can tell she is putting so much emotion into this song. Tris starts to hum the lyrics that must be floating through her mind. She looks like an angel when she sleeps and sounds like one when she sings. I hear the bench slide out and papers shuffle together so I head back into the bedroom and get comfortable. Tris comes in and is started when she sees that I am propped up on my pillows and leaning against the headboard. "Sorry." I say. "It's ok. I wasn't expecting you to be up this late." She says. I motion for her to come to bed and pull back her side of the blankets. "I didn't expect you to be up either." I say. Tris is in my arms again. They feel so empty without her in them. When I hold her it's like the rest of the world fades away and only we exist. I kiss her temple and whisper "I Love you" in her ear. She squeezes me and nestles her head into my chest. "I love you," she says, "I'm sorry I left." I close my eyes and rest my head above hers. "I'm glad you are back." I say. What I want to say is 'you hurt me so bad. My heart broke into a million pieces and I would have thrown myself in the Chasm if something happened to you.' There is no point in saying any of that. It wouldn't make it as if it never happened and would only make her feel worse. "I won't leave you again. If I need to take a walk I will tell you and I won't leave Dauntless again. Can we move past this, Tobias?" She asks. I take a deep breath and exhale. "I don't think I will ever get past what I did to you." I admit. Every time I close my eyes I see her on the floor. I know she said she tripped but she wouldn't have had the opportunity to trip if I hadn't grabbed her arm. It is my fault. "Tobias, you didn't do anything. I told you I tripped. It isn't an excuse that some battered woman would say to hide what happened. It is the real truth. My shoe caught the carpet when I tried to turn around to you." She is trying to make me believe I had nothing to do with what happened. I always believe what she tells me but this time I am struggling. I have to tell her about my fear landscape.

"Tris…" I start. "I…" I can't find the words. I can't get past my last fear. They changed. In all these years of my fears always being the same they finally changed. I was hoping to lose one but there are still always four.

"Tobias, you can tell me anything." She says with a furrowed brow. "Well, you know that evening I said I felt my fears change. I had come face to face with Marcus that day and before coming home I went into my fear landscape. Two of my fears changed. I still have four fears. I expected one to change since I faced Marcus but it is still there but…different." I look off at the wall but see my fear landscape in my mind.

"Tell me, Tobias. Let me in." She says.

"The first and second fear is still the same. Heights and confinement. The third fear is different. I have to watch you die. I have to lose you and watch you die and there is nothing I can do about it." I shake my head and my breath hitches. I feel emotion start to flood me. I can't let her see me cry. I'm strong. I'm brave. I'm weak…a tear slides down my cheek. Tris wipes the tear away and straddles me so we are face to face. I place my hands on her hips and she places her hands on my shoulders. "Tobias, we can't control when or how we die. I don't want to leave you. Ever. I would never leave you on purpose. I don't want you to have to live through something like that. I will do everything in my power for it not to happen. I wish I could say it would never happen but we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow. We have to live today like it is our last." She says passionately. She is right. She can't stop fate. "Fight to live, Tris. Fight to stay with me." I beg and pull her closer. "Always." She says as she places a chaste kiss on my lips. "What is your last fear, Tobias?" She asks. I shake my head and breathe in deep. "It's worse than Marcus beating me. I wish I was still afraid of him. I would do anything to get that fear back." I say. Tris looks at me with her head tilted and questions in her eyes. "I turn out like Marcus."

"You are nothing like Marcus! Nothing! He is an evil man and you are full of goodness. You are brave, smart, selfless, honest, and kind." She says. "Still working on kind." I smile. The smile quickly fades. "When I was standing over you and you were on the floor…my heart stopped. I don't want to be Marcus. At that moment I became him. The last thing I ever wanted in this world is to be the cause of your pain. I want to be the one to protect you from the Marcus's of our city. I would fight and die for you, Tris." I feel tears fill my eyes. I know she can see the pain in my face. She places both hands on my face. "You are nothing like Marcus. You didn't cause me to fall. The only thing that you have ever done to hurt me was not believing in me but I know you just want me safe. There is something that makes you different from Marcus. You don't want to hurt me. You don't want to be like him. Your fear is becoming Marcus not being Marcus. You could never be like him. I would fight and die for you too. We are a team, Tobias, where you go I will go. You have always had my back and I will have yours. Your pain is my pain and your happiness is my happiness." Tears fill Tris's eyes. Tris leans down and presses her lips to mine. There is a hunger in her kiss and I can't get close enough. Any air between us is too much. "I need you." I say through our kisses. I grab her hips and dig my fingers into her ass and push her against my now expanding length. A low groan escapes my throat. I find the hem of my t-shirt that she is wearing and slide my hands up her back. Tris sits up on me and removes her shirt. I have seen her many times but every time I see her my heart flutters. She leans and kisses me deeply. I run my tongue across her bottom lip and she opens to let me enter. Our tongues dance to their own rhythm. Our breaths quicken as she rocks her hips against me. I don't want us to part and I can't wait to bring her back to me. She removes my shorts and I remove her lace panties. Tris is back straddling me. I can feel how wet she is against my hardness. She rocks her hips again. It feels amazing. She closes her eyes and tips her head back. Her hair reaches her waist when she does this. She sighs and I know I'm rubbing her sweet spot while she rubs me with her. I sit up and run kisses from just below her ear down to her collar bone. She moans a breathy moan in my ear and I twitch beneath her. I love that I can make her feel this way. She has no idea what she does to me. Every inch of my body is burning with desire for her. I love this woman. I love her. I want her but I need her. She makes me better. She reminds me that I am alive. I was dead inside for so long but she breathes a new life into me. My kisses reach her breasts. I circle my tongue around her nipple before taking it in my mouth. My teeth gently graze her nipple causing her to push down on me harder.

When I think I can't take anymore, Tris lifts herself up and reaches down to place me at her entrance. I feel her moisture as she lets me enter her. Slowly at first so she gets used to being full of me. When I am all the way inside her she slowly starts to move up then down. She starts with short and slow strokes. I wrap my arms around her waist and grip her tight. Her arms wrap around my neck and she pulls my head to her chest. She takes longer strokes while keeping her slow pace. I raise my head to her and we kiss breathlessly. I reach one arm up her back and onto her shoulder. I grip her shoulder and bring her down on me quickly. This pace is going to kill me. I need her like a starving man needs food. She gasps and digs her fingers into my back. Her pace quickens along with her moans. Tris pushes me back on the bed and leans over me. She runs her hands from my shoulders to my chest then leans in to kiss me with desire filling her. Up and down, quicker and quicker. It feels so good. My skin feels electric. Every touch from her is like lightening. She awakens every cell in my body. My eye lids get heavy and I grab her hips. "God you feel so good baby." I say. "Mmm…" she moans and quickens her pace. "Oh Goooood." She says closing her eyes and tipping her head forward. Her hair sweeps across my chest. I push her up to a sitting position and rub that sweet spot with my thumb. "Oh Fuck baby." She says. "Damn you are so beautiful." I say. Our skin starts to glisten. I rub her faster as she takes me deeper and faster. I can feel her body start to tremble and her body start to tense. 'Not yet' I tell myself. I quit rubbing her and pull her hips down on me. "Tobias, please." She begs. I lift her and turn her onto her stomach and pull her hips up. I press my body to her back side and lean forward to trail kisses down her back. Her back arches and she moans my names. A smile creeps across my face. I spread her legs farther apart and reach between her legs to rub that sweet spot. I move my hands further back and slide a finger inside her. I pump for a minute before adding another. When her moans pick up in pace I remove my fingers from her aching body. When she finally does reach her climax I want to insure it is an explosion. Tris brings herself back toward me to find me. She sits up and presses her back to my chest. I bring my hands up her stomach to her breasts. My hands massage her and squeeze her nipples gently. I slowly start to apply more pressure. Then more pressure. Her back arches and her head tips back on my shoulder. I kiss and nibble at her neck. "What do you want me to do to you?" I whisper in her ear. I expect her to ask me to make love to her but I secretly pray she doesn't. "Fuck me, Four. Hard." She says sternly and breathlessly.

This is exactly what I wanted to hear. If Four is who she wants that is who she will get. Four is who I am. She is mine and I will take her. I want her so bad right now. My cock is throbbing. I want to hear her scream. I can't take it anymore!

I grab Tris by the back of the neck and push her to the bed. She is on her knees and extends her arms to hold her up. I wrap my fist into her hair and pull. Not too hard but enough to bring her head back and arch her back. "Are you ready, Tris?" I say with a teasing tone. "Give me that cock." She says while bringing that hot and wet pussy toward me. I smack her ass. "Don't." I say. "I'm not giving you anything. I'm taking what I want." I say. Of course I want to give her what she wants but that pussy is mine. I grab my cock firmly and rub the head up and down her wet slit and linger at her opening. She moans and tries to back into me again. I smack her ass a little harder. "Do you want me to stop, Tris?" I say her name as an instructor. "No." She says shaking her head. I bring myself toward her and in one motion I fill her completely. Tris yells out with a pleasure filled discomfort. "Hurt?" I ask. I hold still. "No. Unexpected." I pull back slowly and glide back in even slower. I want to hear her beg for more. "Are you sure you want my Four side?" I ask with a grin. "Positive." She says.

I grab her hips and pull her to me hard. I pump in and out. "Shit." I say. Our bodies collide over and over again. The sounds of us both moaning and our skin pounding together fills the room. Tris's arms start to shake. She moves so her forearms are resting on the mattress. I continue to pound her over and over. She tightens and I know she is close. I lean forward and wrap one arm around her stomach and pull her up. I kiss her neck and lay us both on our side. Tris lifts one leg and rests it over mine. I continue to thrust into her from behind. She reaches down to rub herself while I massage her breasts. "That is fuckin' hot babe." I say referring to her rubbing herself. Tris tips her head back and she arches her back again. "Fuck this feels so good!" She says. Her body twitches and she tightens around my cock. She is right. This feels amazing. I know she is ready and I don't know how much longer I can hold back. I think we have set a new record. I smile. Her body stiffens and she reaches back and grabs my ass. She pushes into me as waves of euphoria crash over her body. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yeeessss." She cries out. Hearing her like this and knowing I did this to her heightens all sensation. I pump a few more times and my cock becomes harder and pulses. I slam into her one last time. My eyes roll back and I shove myself as far as I can into her. "Shi…Fu…uhhhh." I growl. I explode inside her. I keep going. As long as I don't stop I can stay hard and keep going. Tris's body relaxes. "You ok?" I ask. "More than ok. That was huge. I don't know if I can keep going." She says. I pull out of her and turn her around to face me. I place a hand on her face.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you more." She says.

"I doubt that." I kiss her.


	22. Chapter 20

**~~~Authors Note-Thank you all so much for sticking with me while I was sick the last few days. To make it up to you I posted Chapter 19 earlier today and now Chapter 20. This chapter is the longest chapter I have written so far. It is twice as long as my longest chapter and has over 8,200 words. I'll post chapter 21 tomorrow. Love all of you! Keep reviewing and following. Brightens my day :)**

Chapter 20

~~~Tris~~~ (Tris refers to Tobias and Four in her thoughts when he is being "Four".)

The alarm goes off way to early. Tobias and I were up pretty late. I look over at him and he is still sleeping. How can he sleep through the radio blaring? There is a good song on so I turn down the volume so I don't disturb Tobias. Dauntless has a radio station that broadcasts only for our compound. It plays during meals and in the pit. Musically inclined Dauntless record their music in a studio inside of the radio station. Their music plays as well as some music saved from the war. The man that runs the station and studio is known as Poppa Voodoo. I met him about a month ago when he came in for a tattoo. His close friends call him Pedro but most people in his circle call him Voodoo. Those that know of him but aren't really in his circle call him Poppa Voodoo. During our first session we got to know each other. He is close to 10 years older than I am. He used to be on the front lines protecting the city but was injured. He was escorting a group of Amity to the gates when a reckless driver coming from Amity hit them. Voodoo threw himself over a young Amity girl to protect her. During his time recovering from several broken bones he listened to a lot of music. It spoke to his soul just like it does for Tobias and me. Max approved his request to move equipment from an old radio station to Dauntless. Several guys helped him move everything and Amity sent them a truck to use out of appreciation for saving the young girl. He said on family day she still comes to see him. The radio station used to play classic rock, metal, and alternative music. A lot of the song lyrics talk about things that we no longer have. One of the songs I like isn't actually rock. They used to call this kind of music country. Amity like country music but this song has a strong rock influence. I'm going to sing it at the party tomorrow night. Voodoo plays it on the radio because he says he likes what the singer has to say.

"Tobias." I whisper and nudge his shoulder. He doesn't move. "Tobias. Wake up." I say a little louder. Now if I were to say 'ouch' very quietly he would wake in a panic but shaking him and saying his name does nothing. I don't want to freak him out but when he gets into these sound sleeps, usually after a long night of sex, the Dauntless Guard could crash through the house and he wouldn't budge. "Tobias, if you don't get your ass up right now…" I say loudly. I slide my hand down his naked body and place my hand over his crotch. "Are you going to get up?" I ask. Tobias starts to fake snore. "You perverted ass!" I say and jump on him. Tobias opens his eyes and laughs while protecting himself from my fake punches. He brings me in and I kiss him good morning. "Good morning, babydoll." He smiles. "You were awake the whole time weren't you?" I push him back to the bed. "Maybe." He says slyly. I push my way off of him and he groans like I just took candy from a small child. "What do you want for breakfast?" I ask while getting up and putting his t-shirt on. "Actually, we need to go down and eat with everyone today. Max wants us to set an example. He says we are a 'power couple'. Whatever that means." He says with a confused look on his face. "You mean he wants us to act like a couple in front of everyone? You are a leader Tobias. Leaders don't expose their vulnerable side. Max even said…" I say. Tobias interrupts, "I think he wants to show that as a leader I am brave but as the man who loves you I can still be brave and go out to protect us. A lot of people may not want to leave their loved ones but being Dauntless means you act with courage."

Tobias and I walk hand in hand into the cafeteria. Our friends surround our table. When they look at us I wave and smile. "Do you care if I invite them all over tonight? Once they hear what Max has to say tonight I think we…." Tobias cuts me off, "Of course!" He looks down at me and smiles.

Christina runs up and gives me a big hug. I just saw her yesterday so I don't understand her actions. Then she leans in and whispers in my ear. "Don't freak out but Will and Shauna are at our table. Zeke and I can't hold a grudge against them since it was their actions that brought us together. If anything we should thank them." She says. "Thank them? You're a better woman than I am, Christina." She laughs and pulls me by the hand to our table. Once we are sitting, I notice Tobias giving Will and Shauna a death glare. I lean in and tell Tobias what Christina told me. "She crazy?" he says. "Yeah," I laugh, "I honestly think so." We both quietly laugh. I nudge him and say, "Fake it."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Zeke bounces his eyebrows. "Nothing." Tobias says in a fake stern voice. "Tobias." I shove him. "We are having a get together at our place tonight. You all in?" I ask. "I have to work tonight." Peter says. "I'll get you the night off." Tobias responds. That is really nice of him considering he never forgave Peter for what he did to me in initiation. "Good, now I'll have some place to sit tonight." I smirk. "The hell you will woman!" Tobias's head snaps in my direction. We all laugh. "Honey, your lap is uncomfortable. It starts out nice but it quickly gets hard." I give a mischievous smirk. His face softens just a little. He gives me that crooked smile and shakes his head. "Your evil." He says. The table erupts in laughter. Even Will and Shauna join in.

"I gotta go." Tobias says. His voice is chilling. He nods to the upper level where Eric stands against the metal railing with his arms crossed. "You've hardly eaten." I say. "I'll see you at lunch, ok?" Tobias says and I nod. He stands to leave and I reach for his hand. He turns back to me and places on hand on my face and bends down to kiss me. Most of Dauntless are watching. "Is this a show?" I quietly ask. I don't want some fake kiss for the sake of others. "No." he says. "Now I can do to you what I want and when I want." He pulls me up from my seat and places both hands on my hips. I gasp when he pulls me into him. My hands are on his biceps and I can feel his muscles tighten. He leans down and kisses me. From behind me I hear Zeke clear his throat. I smile against Tobias. He pulls me into a hug. From over my shoulder Tobias tells Zeke, "Problem there bro?" Zeke replies, "Naw Man. Just wondering if you needed us to clear the table before you throw her on it." They both chuckle. "No were good." Tobias says as he lifts me from my feet. I wrap my legs around him for fear of falling. He sets me on the table and kisses me deeply. Our table of friends burst into laughter and shock. Tobias has pulled away but leans back in for a quick kiss. "See you at lunch." He says walking away. I put my hands through my hair. "Alright there Tris?" Uriah laughs. Tobias left me breathless. I sit in my chair. My face is obviously red. "I think I need the infirmary." I grin. "Why?" Christina questions. "Because that man nearly gave me a heart attack." I laugh and my friends join in. "Does he always do stuff like that…teasing or whatever." Marlene asks. "It's a two way street. I believe it was payback for the Peter comment." I say. "Never a dull moment in the FourTris household I guess." Lynn says with a gross look on her face. "FourTris?" I laugh. "I guess you can say that. I'm never bored." I continue.

"Oh, guys, after all of that," I motion to the table, "I nearly forgot. So, he would never tell you but today is Four's birthday. I wanted you all to come over tonight to surprise him. Obviously he knows about the party but he doesn't know why. Can any of you help me get it set up? If he sees me running around with a cake and his gift he is going to know something is up. He probably thinks I don't remember since he told me his birthday months ago."

"I'll get the cake!" Christina says with spirit. "Got the decorations." Marlene says. "Alcohol." Zeke says raising his finger. "Games." Uriah says. Will and Shauna sit there quiet. I look at Christina and she turns to look at Zeke. He rolls his eyes and nods. "You guys are coming right?" I ask them. Shauna looks at Zeke. Zeke nods. "Are you sure." Will asks Zeke and Christina. "Yeah." Christina says. "Ok now that our happy little family is all chummy again, what's the plan?" Lynn says.

"Well, if you guys get the stuff together and meet me at our place before dinner to set up then I will keep Four occupied down here. Whatever we need for the party just charge it to my account." I say. "Games are free." Uriah laughs. "My treat." Christina says. "Mine too." Marlene adds. "Thanks you guys." I smile. "But Zeke that's a lot of alcohol so I don't want to hear to say you're buying it all. So charge it, ok?" I say seriously. "Whatever, sis, I got half." Uriah says. "I got half, too." Zeke says. "No you guys…" I start to say. "Uriah, let's make a list and I'll go while you are at work." Zeke says cutting me off. I shake my head. We have to have the most stubborn group of friends. "Can I bring a date, Tris?" Lynn asks. "Of course!" I say. "I don't want you guys to freak out about my date so I have to tell you something I've never told you." Lynn says. I grin. "What's her name?" I ask. Lynn doesn't need to say anything. We all suspect. She doesn't need to 'come out' to us. We are her family. We love her no matter who she loves. Who you love isn't a choice. It's not like choosing a faction.

Lynn smiles as she tells us about Irena. She explains that she was named after her grandmother Irene which means peace and that she was a transfer a year before us from Amity but she goes by Rena. "That looks good on you Lynn." I say. "What?" Lynn questions. "Your smile. It looks good on you. I like it." I say. Lynn tries but fails miserably to hide her smile. "If she hurts you I will kill her!" Marlene says.

"Ok, guys, I have to go find a gift for Four. I'll see you at the apartment before dinner." I say. I go to stand but our friends start asking what they can get Four for his birthday. "You guys celebrating with us is more than enough." I say. "No. Nope. Not happening." Christina says. "I'm getting him something!" She says. "Well if any of you choose to get him something and I can't stop you then get him something from the heart. He may be a bad ass but he really does think of you guys as family. He never had family before." I say. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. The table gets quiet. I put my head down. "Look, he doesn't talk about his life for a reason. Just let it go and don't ask questions. We are his family now, OK?" I say. They all nod. I smile. "I love you guys!" I say. "Awe, we love you too Trissy." Zeke says. "If you call me that again Zeke I will have Four rip your head off." I try to act big and bad but this man could probably snap my heck in a hug. "Like my brother would hurt me. I've been calling you that for three months and all he does is laugh. Come up with a better threat, Tris." Zeke laughs. "Zeke, girls talk. I know things." I grin mischievously. Christina shakes her head. "What things? What did you tell her?" Zeke says in shock. "I…I…" I hear Christina stammer as I give a little wave goodbye.

I know what I want to get him. I have been thinking about it for days. I never had the opportunity to sneak off and explain to Tiv what I wanted. I hope she can get a rush order. I hate to put her under any pressure so if she can't do it this fast I will completely understand. I walk into the jewelry store and Tiv greets me. "Tris! I haven't seen you around for a few weeks. How are you?" she says with a smile. Tiv is very personable. She has long dark hair nearly to her waist. In the front she has several streaks of purple. Her eyes are a medium brown with gold flecks. Her winged eye shadow, that is a gradient from dark to light brown, make her eye color pop. Her skin is flawless and porcelain. I haven't done a tattoo on her yet but I love the ones she has. There is a thumb print on the inside of her left wrist and scissors near her thumb. She also works at the salon on the other side of the Pit. She put the hidden black streaks in my hair. She is amazing with color. Her full time job is at the shop but she helps in the jewelry store because her parents own it. Her mom, Kay, is a sweet woman and her dad, Nelson, is a tall brutal looking man but inside he is just a big teddy bear. I met him when he came in for a tattoo. He drew a cartoonish looking dragon and I copied it to his exact specifications. He said he used to draw it for his daughters when they were younger. Nelson is a funny guy. He loves to talk just like Tiv. They have the same eyes. No matter how tough they appear you can see in their eyes that they are loving and kind. He reminds me of my own dad. Though my dad isn't as bad ass as Nelson. I laugh to myself. "I'm doing good, Tiv, how are you?" I say with a smile. "It would be better if we were busier today but the day is only getting started so I guess there is hope." She laughs. I explain to her that I am looking for an addition to Four's dog tags. As dauntless we are all required to wear them at all times. I usually take mine off for showers and bed. We have one tag that stays with us at all times and one on a shorter chain that would be taken from us if anything ever happens. I want to get him one that will stay with him always. "But here is the problem. It is a gift for him and I kinda need it tonight." I say hesitantly. "That won't be a problem, Tris, I'm awesome at engraving." She laughs. "Woah, wait…" I say pointing to her ring finger. Around her finger is delicate scroll work in the center is says Poppa and below that it says Voodoo. "You are married to Poppa Voodoo?" I ask. "Yeah." She smiles and looks down at her hand. "How did I not know that?" I say. "I did a tattoo on him and he told me all about you but now that I think about it he never did say your name. He just laughed and called you Momma Voodoo." I smirk. "Yes, that would be what he calls me." She laughs and shakes her head. "So, this gift, special occasion?" She asks. "Do not tell anyone or Four will hunt me down!" I say. Tiv nods and leans in closer. "Today is Four's birthday. He doesn't want anyone to know his personal business but a group of our friends are throwing him a surprise party tonight after dinner. You and Voodoo should come!" I say with excitement. "That actually sounds like fun. I'll ask and see if he has any plans. He's usually on the radio at night but maybe someone could cover. I bet Jace will cover for him." She says. "So what do you want engraved on this?" she asks. "Song lyrics. He wrote a couple of songs for me. One I am sure you have heard. Voodoo plays it on the radio. Nothing Else Matters?" I ask. "Oh yea, I love that song! Four has an awesome voice. I've never heard a metal love song like that before." We talk for a few minutes about music and I tell her I'll be playing with Derrick's band tomorrow night. We have been practicing together and he likes what I'm going to be doing. I wrote a new song after the fight with Tobias. It is just me and the piano. I know it will surprise him but I hope he understands. He is playing with Trained To Kill at the party tomorrow. I love to see him on that stage with his guitar. I can't describe it. It's almost sexual. Him standing there and getting sweaty. The way he holds his guitar close to his crotch just working it. Oh my god I'm horrible. I'm standing here with Tiv talking about music and thinking about Four 'working his guitar'.

"Um, It's a combination of three songs. Two he wrote for me and the first one I wrote for him. I'd like the first line to read 'All of me loves all of you.' The second line I would like to say 'I know now you're my only hope' and the third line to say, 'And nothing else matters'." Tiv smiles and reaches for the machine and starts setting up the letters that will punch into the metal. "Wait….can you add one more line?" I ask. "Sure. I can do up to five lines." She says. I think back to breakfast this morning and Lynn saying 'the FourTris household'. I like the play on words. I think it is cute. "Add Forever FourTris below it. Like this." I grab a piece of paper and show her how our names come together. "I love it." She says. She then shows me her right wrist where she has 'ilovit' tattooed. "It's my name backwards." She laughs.

It takes several minutes to get everything lined up. She has to use smaller letters than normal dog tags would use since there is so much to put on it. She places the tag into place and lowers the handle. Tiv puts all of her weight into it and the metal starts to bend with her will. She removes the metal and sprays it with compressed air. Once she places the black rubber piece around the tag she hands it to me. It's perfect. I look up and smile at her. "Like it?" she asks. I grab the piece of paper and write 'ilovit' and hand it to her. She laughs and hugs me from over the counter. "Hope to see you tonight!" I say walking out of the door. "Same here." She says.

It's almost dinner time and I am finally done with all my stops. I got Tobias's gift and a new outfit for the party. I ran into Tobias as I was leaving the clothing store and had to tell him a lie that it was for the party tomorrow. It killed me inside to lie to him. I'm glad he didn't remember that I had already gotten my outfit for that party. I see all our friends at our door when I turn the corner. We make small talk as I unlock the door. Christina is so excited about the cake she has to tell me all about it. "It's dauntless cake with a few improvements." She says. "You can't improve dauntless cake, woman, are you insane. You mess with dauntless cake and you become factionless." He tries to say seriously. She rolls her eyes and says, "Ok the cake is dauntless and the fillings are dauntless but I had them add fruit filling over the fudge fillings. The first layer of cake has the fudge filling with a strawberry filling over it. It has fresh cut strawberries in a strawberry glaze. The second layer of cake has the fudge filling but on top of that it is lined with bananas. Then of course a third layer of cake. Traditional chocolate fudge icing and hot fudge dripping down the sides." She gleams. "Totally love it. It sounds delicious. I didn't know Dauntless Cake could be changed like that." I say. "They do for special occasions like weddings and things. I had them write Happy Birthday on it but wouldn't let them know whose birthday it was for. I know he doesn't like a fuss about things." She says. "No, he really doesn't." I add.

Decorations have been hung around the apartment. I have brought the bar stools and dining chairs into the living room. Most of us just sit around on the floor anyways. I've invited everyone so this should be a big party. I just hope the apartment is big enough. The guest list includes Zeke and Christina, Lynn and Rena, Uriah and Marlene, Will and Shauna, Peter, Al, Voodoo and Tiv, Eric and Zoey, Shawn and Renee, Randy and Sarah, Derrick, and Blake, and of course Four and myself. This is going to be a great night. I am supposed to meet Four in the Cafeteria for dinner. I remind the group that if we are all late then he will get suspicious. I get ready in my new outfit and arm myself with an excuse to wear it tonight. We all make our way to the cafeteria but enter separately. I wait behind a few minutes because Four knows I'm always late for everything. When I walk in he is sitting at the table with our friends. He looks over his shoulder and sees me. His face is not the face of the man I love. It almost looks like he is in shock. Then his eyes become soft and he stands to face me. He holds me at arm's length and tells me I am beautiful. I blush and look down. He has a way of making me feel like I really am beautiful. "When did you get this?" he asks. "Today." I say. In my mind I am trying to prepare my lie. "I thought what you bought today was for the party tomorrow night." He says. "It was. I just liked it so much I couldn't take it off." I laugh. He pulls me in to hug him and I look at Christina with huge bug eyes. She quietly chuckles.

Dinner seems to go smoothly. No one is letting on that the party is really for him. My nerves are swelling but it isn't about the party. I wouldn't be such a mess if he wasn't drifting off every few minutes and bouncing his knee. "Guys…" he blurts out. Everyone seems shocked. He doesn't normally act like this. He leans in and we all follow. "I can't tell you anything right now. As much as I want to. But in about five minutes there is going to be an announcement that changes everything. Don't panic. Be brave. The party will still go on at our place and we are not going to talk about what is about to happen until tomorrow. Everyone understand?" He says. Tobias stands and looks down at me. He kisses the top of my head then turns and walks toward the stairs to the mezzanine where the leaders have gathered. Our group turns to look at me. "Please don't ask me anything. I only found out a little bit last night and I wasn't supposed to even know that. I knew they were announcing everything tonight. I just don't know what _everything_ is." I say. "It's bad isn't it?" Marlene asks. "What I know of, yes, it is. Please, guys, Four wanted to have this party to spend this day with his family. Soon you will know why. Like he said, we will all sit down and talk about it tomorrow. I'm not even going to talk to him about it when we are alone. He tries to keep leadership stuff at work and I don't ask him about it. We have to trust him as our leader." I say. They all nod. A woman comes over the compound's intercom, "All Dauntless to the Cafeteria. All Dauntless to the Cafeteria. Five minutes."

"This _is_ bad." Marlene says to Uriah. He wraps his arm around her and brings her close. "Do you guys remember during a game of Truth or Dare when someone, I think Christina, asked Four a question when he chose Truth? She asked 'why did you choose to go into leadership?'" They nod. "Do you remember his answer?" I add. Christina nods. "He said it was to protect his family." A tear comes to her eye. "Yes, Christina. Did you ever question why he needed to protect us? Well, this is why." I say. The table falls quiet. I pick at my fingernails. I don't know what is going to be said. All I know is that there is a faction uprising and I killed Molly.

"Dauntless." I hear. I look up to see Max, Four, and Eric standing on the raised platform in the cafeteria. Four is looking right at me with his arms crossed. Eric has his arms crossed as well. The three of them look like the devil and his right hand men have come to unleash hell. We all immediately stand and place our right fist over our hearts. Four is still looking at me. I take two fingers and kiss them and touch my heart before closing my fist. I see the glint in his eyes that others wouldn't notice then he nods a couple of times. His eyes start to scan the room as Max begins what I am sure will be a long speech.

"Dauntless. We have been on top of a situation for a while now and it seems now is the time we have to take action. Our duty is to serve and protect. We must protect those who cannot protect themselves. Quite some time ago our weapons warehouse was broken into but only 15 weapons were stolen. We took down all but two of the thieves. After an interrogation we had discovered that the factionless were preparing for something but the men that were captured were not let in on that information. As you know, security around the compound, the warehouses, and faction headquarters have increased and a curfew was instated. Those security measures and the curfew will continue. We now know what the factionless are planning. What we don't know is when. We have to be ready at a moment's notice." Max looks directly at me and I know he is going to announce what I had done. "Last night I sent Four and Tris into the factionless sector on a mission led by Eric. They gathered important intelligence to help us in our fight. At some point they split up to cover more ground. When we didn't hear back from Tris we sent patrols to look for her. Two former Dauntless had cornered her. They held grudges against her since they were in her initiation class. Drew and Molly attacked her but she fought back. She knocked out Drew and went after Molly. We all know that it would be impossible to get them both back to Dauntless since she was outnumbered so she had to sacrifice one to bring the one with the most information we would need. Tris is brave. She is Dauntless." The crowd erupts into cheers and people are hitting me on the back. Four is looking at me and I shake my head side to side. I am not a hero. What got me out there was stupidity and what got me home was a will to live for Tobias. Four tips his head down and raises his eyebrows while looking at me. I know he is telling me to shut up and take it. Yes I did bring Drew back because I knew he would know more than Molly. I didn't want to kill Molly. Torture her sure, but I didn't want to take a life.

Max continues and a hush comes over the cafeteria. "What we learned from Drew," now everyone knows I killed Molly, "was vital. If we hadn't learned this information we would be fighting the wrong fight." Four gives me a small grin and a wink. My heart flutters when he does that. "We have learned from Drew that the factionless are planning an attack on Abnegation. They want to destroy our government by killing their leaders and council members."

"NO!" I stand and scream. My father is a council member. Every head turns to me. Four unfolds his arms and they fall to his side. When will I ever stop fucking up!? "Tris?" Max says. Think Tris, think! "When do we fight?" I shout. The crowd starts shouting and trusting their fists in the air. Max smiles at me. "Some of you will have a choice to join the fight. But some of you won't." He says. What? What they hell is he talking about? I look at Four and he shakes his head no but the look on his face isn't one that means he is trying to stop me. The look he gives me looks like I misunderstood Max. "Four?" Max says.

Four begins to speak. "Some of you will have the chance to volunteer to fight. Some of you have been chosen based on your skill to lead squads and patrols. We will need extra security for each faction headquarters and twice the security in Abnegation. Being that the factionless are most active at night we will begin leading groups of Abnegation leaders and council members to safe houses in Amity. Amity has permitted our larger presence in their area as long as we can remain peaceful until a conflict arises. You can sign up with Eric. You have 24 hours. After that we will be sorting you according to our need. If we don't have enough volunteers then you will be drafted. I expect we will have enough volunteers since we aren't cowards." More fist pumping and shouting begins. Four continues. "There will be volunteers that we turn away. Any woman who is pregnant will not be allowed to fight. Any couple with children can only have one parent fight. We ask that each shop has one person stay behind to take care of those that remain here. One leader will stay here and in a 2-1 vote that leader is Max. We do not know how long we will be gone. It could be hours or it could be weeks. I suggest you prepare and spend time with your families. This is war. There will be lives lost." Four turns to Eric who is holding a clipboard.

Eric begins, "Those of you who are guards will remain guards throughout the war. You will be assigned to a location. You will be relieved for sleep every 12 hours. At that time you will eat and sleep where you are told to be. Once outside you will not be permitted to come back until the war is over. Same goes for our current patrol. You will be reassigned to patrol areas that we need you to patrol. Again, you will have a base and be switched out every 12 hours to eat and sleep. Abnegation and Amity will be sending a group to stay at warehouse C. They will be providing all of the meals to our soldiers. We will have runners to take meals to your base. Those of you who are stationed at a faction headquarters will be provided for by that faction. You will also be switched out every 12 hours. We will form five infantry teams. Those teams will get their assignment once they form. Those five infantry teams will be made up from those with combat experience. You may request to be on one of the five squads but there is no guarantee. We may pull from the guards or the patrols before taking volunteers. We will look at each and every name on the list and put you where we think you will do the most good. We will need five nurses. One nurse for each squad. Warehouse D will be a makeshift hospital. Erudite are sending doctors and nurses to stay there. They are setting up as we speak. We need those brave enough to transport doctors or nurses using the Amity trucks to pick up the injured or deceased. You will not have an easy job but it is a necessary one. The five squads already have leaders. Four and I have selected you. You will train your squad over the next several weeks or sooner if it comes to that. Those squad leaders do not know who they are but we also know that these dauntless will not back down. They are myself and Four, Zeke," Christina grabs Zeke's arm and he gives her a reassuring smile, "Shauna, and Shawn. We will also have extra trainers for those groups. They are Uriah, Peter, Tris, Lauren, and Tori. Those trainers will also be on a squad as the right hand for the leader. Those of you in their groups are expected to report to them both as your leader. Leader and trainer will be pared up prior to lunch tomorrow. Meet upstairs in leadership in the meeting hall. On the wall," Eric points to the wall on his left, "There are sign-up sheets. You have 24 hours to volunteer. If you are already in the guard or patrols do not sign up. We already have your names. On the second sheet you can sign up to help with the hospital in warehouse D if you have medical experience. Four, anything to add?" Eric asks.

"I expect there to be more names on that list than we need." He says pointing at the list. "The party is still on for tomorrow. We expect you all here at dinner the day after the party to get your assignments. Max." Four motions to the front while stepping back. Max moves to the front. "As you can tell this isn't going to be a conflict this is going to be a war. Eric and Four are trained in the art of war and have developed these extensive plans. Those of you who feel you have something to contribute, as far as war plans, see Tris." Me? Why me? "Four and Eric will be your Combatant Commanders and will work with the squad leaders and trainers on the operation plan. When the sirens wail five times each group that is not already in the field will gather at your chosen meeting points and head out. No matter what time of day those sirens wail all groups will gather, however, the squads will go out at night. All patrols and guards are expected to cover the squads and protect them with your life. Any act of treason will be punishable by death."

With that the three walk back up to the leadership mezzanine. I look around our table and see everyone else looking around as well. "How much did you know?" Christina says to me. "Let's not talk about it until…" I try to say but Christina interrupts me. "No! I need to know right now. How long have you known that we could all die at any moment? How long have you known that they are sending Zeke out there on a suicide mission?" Tears overflow her eyes. "Christina, the only thing I found out was that the factionless were planning something. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know who was going out. I didn't even know that I would be going out there. I would have volunteered anyways." It hits me. That is why they aren't just doing the five leaders. He knew I was going to volunteer. He gave each squad leader a trainer as a second in command so he can keep my close to him. "That asshole." I say shaking my head. I quickly get up from my seat and cringe inside when the metal scrapes against the concrete. I run up the stairs and see Four and Eric outside of an office. I'm going to hurt him! Four looks past Eric, "Tris?" He knows something is wrong but he has no idea what's waiting for him. "You son of a bitch. You knew I would volunteer so you are trying to control what I can do!" I lunge at Four but Eric grabs me around the waist and spins me into his office. Four comes in and slams the door. "Sit down." Eric says sternly before plopping me in the chair. I try to rise but Four grabs my shoulders from behind me and pushes me into the seat. "Girl, you better keep your ass in that chair!" Eric commands. "Or what, _Eric_?" I say as I forcibly removed Four's hands from me. Eric looks over to Four, who is still standing behind me, He gives Four a look that says if you didn't love her I would beat her into submission right now. Four walks over beside Eric and crosses his arms as he leans up against the wall. They both look down at me sitting in the chair. "What are you two like the dynamic duo or something? All chummy chummy? Gunna take on a little girl together?" I say in all my sarcastic-ness. "Little girl my ass!" Eric says, "I might have fallen for that once but I know better now."

"I am not going to sit here while you two look down on me like I _am_ a little girl." I stand and face Eric. "I'm glad you remember who you're talking to. I came first in my class, Eric, where did you place." Eric lunges for me but only gets the sleeve of my shirt when Four slams him up against a wall. "I'm going to hurt her, Four, I swear to god!" Eric says. "Calm down, Eric. She is good at finding someone's button and won't hesitate to push it. She doesn't mean it." Four says. Eric's nostrils flair. "Look, Eric, I _did_ mean to piss you off but maybe I shouldn't have gone there." I say. Now I feel bad. I release Four's grip on Eric and push him aside. "Tris don't." Four says. "Yeah, Tris, don't come close to me right now." Eric huffs. "Oh, Eric," I put my hand to his face and feel his jaws clench, "You aren't going to hurt me. Sure you would get one good punch in but then all three of us would be factionless." I say smartly. "Remove your hand Tris." Eric says. "Not till you admit you like me, Eric. Come on, I know you do." I say smiling and sound like I'm talking to a small boy. I cup my hand under his chin and squeeze his cheeks together and wiggle his head back and forth. "Awe, wittle Ewic still gunna be mad and wittle ol Twissy poo. You love me admit it." Eric tries not to laugh but Four on the other hand can't hold back. I grip Eric harder, "Say it Ewic. You luuuuh me. You wanna huuuuuug me." Eric busts out laughing and pushes my hand away. "I'm still close enough, I could grab your junk and make you squeal like a girl, Eric, you better admit it." I press myself against Eric holding him to the wall. Yes, I know, he can pick me up with one finger but being that he isn't fighting me I know he isn't mad anymore. Eric laughs and wraps his arms around me. "I hate you, Tris. Just like a little sister." Eric says. "Awe, Ewic!" I give him a little puppy dog face. "I hate you too." I give him a squeeze. I have Zeke who I know will always pick on me and make me laugh and now Eric who will always tell me like it is. If I could put them both together I would have Caleb back.

"Do either of you want to explain any of this to me?" I motion down to the Cafeteria. "I will." Eric says. "You already know you were selected to help train. Honestly, when we were going through names of potential squad members your name always popped up. You are good at what you do, Tris. We do need you." Eric, who is now sitting in front of me, looks up at Four. Four sits and reaches for my hands. I look down and watch his hands cover all of mine. "He is right, Tris. We do need you. I don't like it at all but we need you. I do want you on my team but yes, I want to protect you. But you can go with Eric or Zeke. I know they would have your back. I'm going on a very dangerous mission and I need to have a clear head." Four says. His voice is almost pleading.

"Then I'm going with you." I say. "No, Tris. You can't go with me. I'm going to be taking out their leader." He admits. "You know as well as I do that neither one of us will have a clear head unless we are together. I will be thinking about you and your safety and you will be thinking of me and mine." I argue. "She's right, Four. It's got to be you two together or neither of you." Eric says. "I know she's right!" Four snaps. "But I can't watch her die!" He walks out the door and slams it behind him. I look at Eric with worry filling my face. "Go." He says. "We_ are_ having this party tonight no matter what!" I say as I leave his office and run down the stairs.

I find Tobias by the chasm at our spot. "Tobias." I whisper so I don't startle him. He raises his hand to his face before turning around. "Tobias!" I run up to him and wrap my arms around him. He squeezes me close and buries his face him my hair. I hear him sniffle and exhale hard. Tobias is crying. Just hearing him in so much pain brings tears to my eyes. "I can't lose you, Tris. If you die I jump." He says with a broken voice. "When I close my eyes I see my fear landscape. You lay there with blood coming from you. I scream and lift your lifeless body and you head falls back. Your skin…it was so pale and your lips were turning blue. I tried to bring you back but I failed. All I could do is sit there and hold you in my arms as you turned cold. I came out of the simulation crying and shaking." Tobias pulls back and kisses my forehead several times. I pull back slightly to look at him. Tears are now streaming down my face. "Neither one of us will be jumping any time soon, Tobias. Not until we are old and can no longer be in Dauntless. Then we will jump together. Hand in hand. Always together." I say. He and I both know we can't promise anything. It is how we both want it to be. "I want you on my team." He says. "I don't have to, Tobias. If you ask me to stay home then I will." I pray he doesn't ask me to stay home but I can't see this pain in his eyes again. I will do whatever I have to do for him even if that means sacrificing a part of me. Tobias laughs, "You sounded serious but we both know that isn't going to happen." I slide my hand up the side of his face. "I would do anything for you, Tobias. Anything." I say while looking deep into his eyes. His brows come together. "I need you on my team, Tris. I found out today that they do have a leader and I volunteered to take out their leader. Even though the factionless leader is my mother." He chokes out the word mother. "Mother?" I say in shock. "I went to her funeral! How long have you known about her?" I ask

"Today. She sent a letter through a messenger. We have the messenger in custody but she sent a little girl. A child! She sent a little girl to her death to tell me she is alive and always resented me." He says. It sends a chill down my spine. "What is going to happen to the little girl? You know what…don't answer that. I can't know. And how the hell did your mother resent you?" I say.

"My father didn't start beating me until she died. She took all of his cruelty. She resented watching him with me. I barely remember a time when he was good to me. I was 7 when she died. But she didn't die. She left me. She walked out of that house and never looked back. She left me in the hands of a monster. In the letter she said she couldn't take me with her because she could see him in me. She knew he would eventually turn the abuse toward me but it was too painful to see me. She said she saw me before my choosing ceremony and was going to try to get me alone and ask me to go with her but when she saw me I reminded her of him. She said it would be too painful for _her_ to be with _me_. The last thing she said is that she is willing to kill and die for her cause but war is war and she hopes I make it. She is willing to kill me, Tris. My mother doesn't care if I die. I lived all these years thinking that if she was still with me that she would have saved me. I had this fantasy of this perfect family. I had a mother that I held higher than any other woman I saw. She would have saved me and protected me. She would have looked at me the way your father looked at you. She hated me all this time."

My heart is breaking. How can a woman abandon her child? It shouldn't matter who the father is or what he has done. A mother is there to protect, love, and support her child no matter what. A mother is supposed to have unconditional love. "It wasn't your fault you know. She is obviously sick." I tell Tobias. "I know." He says. "She is still your mother. Can you kill her?" I ask. "I have to." He says. "Tobias." I make him look at me. "You don't have to be the one."

"Promise me if anything happens that you will finish the mission, Tris." He says. "Nothing is going to happen to you, Tobias!" I say. I don't want to talk like this. I don't want to hear it. "Tris, I mean if I freeze. I know what you think of me but…" I cut him off, "Tobias. You are strong and brave and face fear head on but I know who you are. I know all of you. I know you are selfless and smart and kind. You have a huge heart. I know you don't want to kill your mother even after finding out how horrible she is. But if I kill her you will resent me. Marcus pushed her to that door but she walked out willingly. They are both to blame. I won't become a resentment. It will destroy us." I say. Before Tobias could say anything else I tell him we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I agree to be on his team.

"I'm sure we have an apartment full of people by now. We should go." I say.

"Ok." He says and gives me a chaste kiss.


	23. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

~~~Tris~~~

We walk hand in hand to the party in our apartment. I tell him I gave Zeke the keys so they can all meet us there. When we get to the apartment I place myself between Tobias and the door. My cue is to make noise on the door and hold Tobias off while they all get in place. "Before we go in there." I say while I turn around to him. I place my hand on the door handle and wiggle it a little and lean against the door with what I expected to be a bang but turned out to be a dull thud. I wrap my hands around his neck and give him the kiss I have been waiting all day to give him. I release all of my fear, frustration and passion into this kiss. I pull back but Tobias grabs my hips to bring me back in. "Tobias." I laugh. We look in each other's eyes and I smile. "I have something I have wanted to tell you all day. I wanted to be the first to tell you." He looks at me curiously. "Happy birthday, Tobias!" I stand on my tip toes and kiss his tender lips. He starts kissing me back. I can feel his smile. He suddenly stops and looks at me. "First?" He says. "You don't miss much do you?" I laugh. I take his hand and turn to the door. He gives a little tug to stop me. "What did you do, Tris?" He asks cautiously. "Your family wants to tell you too." I say.

I open the door and pull Tobias in with me. I look up to him and watch as he takes it all in. Christina is holding a cake with lit candles and all our friends are surrounding her. Black and dark blue balloons are floating in the corners. A happy birthday banner hangs over the island, which is stocked with alcohol. Tobias has that glint in his eyes. He wraps his arm around me from behind and pulls me in close. The group starts to sing Happy Birthday to him. I look up at him and he looks down at me. "We love you." I whisper. He squeezes me tight. "Make a wish." Christina says. "A wish?" Tobias asks. "Yes, a wish. Blow out the candles and if you get it in one attempt then your wish comes true. Haven't you ever had a birthday cake or a birthday party?" She asks. I see a fleeting pain cross his face. "I've never had a family to give me a party before." He smiles. Tobias closes his eyes and squeezes my hand. When he opens his eyes he blows out all the candles in one attempt. "What did you wish for?" I ask. Tobias smiles "I…" Christina cuts him off, "NO! You can't tell anyone or it won't come true!" Tobias laughs, "Rules are rules." I nudge him with my shoulder.

Soon we are all sitting around eating this amazing Dauntless cake and having a drink. We are all off in several different conversations. Tobias, Zeke, Shawn, Derrick, and Voodoo are talking about music. Christina and Marlene are talking about fashion. Will, Peter and Al are talking about new ideas for weapons. Lynn is with Shauna and Rena while they get to know each other. Tiv, Renee, and I are in the kitchen. Tiv is teaching me how to mix new drinks. Uriah is bugging us in the kitchen and eating all the chips as usual. Eric and Zoey are in the corner making out. Randy, Sarah, and Blake couldn't make it. Blake was out on a special assignment and Randy and Sarah have sick kids at home.

"Wow, Tiv this drink is awesome! I have to let Four try it. Be right back." I run into the living room and hold the glass out to Tobias. "You have to try this." I say. "Um, Tris….It's pink." I laugh at the face he is making. "What's wrong Four? You too big a man to drink my fruity pink drink?" I say with the same puppy face I gave Eric earlier. Eric comes up for air in the corner, "Just do it Four she isn't going to stop!" Four, Eric, and I laugh. "Fine." Tobias takes a drink and hands it back to me. "Here." He says with a straight face. "Did you like it?" I ask. "Sure." He says. "Oh, Four, did you liiiiiike it? You know you liiiiked it. Did big strong Four like the fruity pink drink?" Tobias looks up at me laughing. "Tris," he continues to laugh. "Get me a beer please." I laugh, "Oh I get it. Need a beer to get your man card back after liking my fruity pink drink?" I turn to head back to the kitchen and Tobias smacks me on the ass. I swing my head back around and my hair floats through the air. "You will pay for that." I say. "I hope so." He grins. I go to the kitchen and tell the girls he liked it but was too manly to admit it. I take a beer from the fridge and take it to Tobias. I bend down on one knee and raise the beer in both hands above eye level and bow my head, "Your beer, Your Majesty." I say. I laugh and look up to the mischievous grin that I love. "Thank you, now be gone wench." My mouth drops open and he is laughing his ass off. I raise a hand to hit him on the arm but he catches it and spins me around locking my arm behind me. "Gotta move quicker than that." He laughs and takes a sip of his beer. "Didn't spill a drop." He says then leans down and kisses my cheek. "Ass!" I call him. "Wench!" He calls me. We both laugh and I shove him and walk back to the kitchen.

"How long do you think it will take for the instruments to come out?" I ask Tiv. "I don't know. We are on borrowed time here. I'm surprised it is taking so long." We laugh. "So, Renee, I haven't seen you since the last party. How are things with you and Shawn?" Renee smiles. "Good actually, Shawn got moved up to a higher position with the patrol. With him at work all the time and me being with the kids and teaching I'm just thrilled to have adult conversation. I'm pretending to be on vacation." We all laugh. "Then you will need this." Tiv puts a little umbrella in a blue drink and hands it to Renee. Renee laughs, "What no little sword going through a cherry?" We all laugh again. Tiv brings out little red plastic swords and we laugh even harder. Tiv and I have a sword fight and it ends with us laughing so hard we are crying. I stabbed her in the boob with a three inch long red plastic sword.

We hear a guitar tuning in the living room. "Ah, here we go!" Tiv says and we laugh again. We all make our way to the living room. I'm happy to see that Eric and Zoey have been surgically removed from each other.

Voodoo starts out with his single drum and starts a rhythm with his hands. This drum isn't like the one you would see on a drum set. It has intricate designs around the body of the drum. Derrick and Four come in on guitar. Derrick is playing rhythm and Four is playing lead. Zeke begins to sing and Shawn does a backup harmony. They really do sound pretty good together. We all sit around listening to them play. After a few songs I say, "You guys should be in a band together." Derrick laughs, "Then I wouldn't have a band for you to sing in tomorrow."

Christina shoves me, "You didn't tell me you were singing tomorrow." She says. "I'm sure I did." I say. I swear I told her. With everything going through my mind from the past couple of days I could be mistaken. "No, I'd remember something like that. What are you going to sing?" Christina questions. "I'm singing a few duets with Derrick, one cover song saved from the war, and two originals." I say. "Let's hear something!" Christina says. "Yeah, I didn't even know you could sing!" Uriah adds. The group agrees. They didn't know I could sing because I never told them. Tobias isn't one to freely hand out information either so I know he wasn't going to tell. Music is very personal for me. I keep in all inside. I'm afraid if I give it away I would lose a part of myself in the process. "It's one thing to stand on a stage and sing and something completely different to sing in front of all your friends." I say. They persisted so I caved. "Ok, I'll do a cover song." I say. "No, Tris, do one of yours." Tobias says. I look at him giving him the 'gee thanks' look. "Yeah, let's hear something you wrote." Marlene says. "Not anything from the show through or we will have to change our set list." Derrick says.

"I don't know if you all will fit in the music room but that is the only place I can do it. I don't know how to play guitar and no one has ever heard this one before."

I sit behind the piano while everyone piles in the room around all the equipment. It isn't a small room but we are trying to put nearly 20 people in here around a drum set, guitars on stands, microphones, amps, and a piano. "I didn't know you could play a piano, Tris. I'm supposed to be your best friend. Why don't I know these things?" Christina asks. "I guess it is still the 'stiff' in me. Everyone else before yourself. It's not much to brag about. I really don't think I'm that good." I say. "Bullshit." Zeke says. "I call bullshit." He laughs.

"Ok, well…I will do one of my own if Derrick will help me with one of his. I love this song. You know the one, Derrick." Derrick nods and sits beside me at the piano. I love this song not just for what it says but because the piano is so soothing but the vocals are so powerful. Together it is like a swirling fog. It is mystical and draws you in. Derrick looks and me and smiles. You ready? I get up and stand behind him to give him more room and because standing makes it easier with a song this powerful. I place my hands on his shoulders and give him a little tap. He begins playing the sweet melody. I look at Tobias and make eye contact. He looks down to my hands on Derrick and looks back up at me. I grin and shake my head. I begin singing 'My Immortal'. _(By Evanescence)_

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

...me, me, me

No one is saying anything. "It was bad wasn't it?" I ask. I feel totally defeated. "No, not at all." Shawn says. "It really was great, Tris." Eric says. Christina is just looking at me shaking her head. "Wow." She says simply. "You guys have to say that. Look if I am bad just tell me so I don't make an ass out of myself tomorrow at the party." I say. "Do you think I would let you sing in my band if you sucked?" Derrick says. "I'm not in your band, Derrick." I nudge him. "Nobody else is singing with us tomorrow, Tris." He says. My eyes are wide from shock. I look at Tobias and he is grinning at me. "Now one of yours, babe." He says. "Which one?" I ask Tobias. "Do you have one I haven't heard?" He asks. "I have a few but one is for tomorrow so I can't play it. Do you want a fast one or a slow one?" I ask. "Why can't you play it?" He asks. "Because Derrick told me not to." I say. Tobias stands up straight and crosses his arms. Oh, hell, he is going to play the Four card. What a dick. I laugh to myself. "Go on Tris." Derrick says defeated. Tobias cocks his head and smirks at me. I just shake my head at him.

"So, nobody has ever heard this song before. It came to me yesterday and I spent several hours on it last night. That is usually how it goes when I write. I start and I can't stop. When inspiration hits, you can ask Four, even if it is 2 in the morning I will get up and come in here to the piano. I had the words down pretty fast but the piano part took a couple hours. Anyways, it's called Warrior." I look at Tobias and wink. Without calling him out in front of everyone I'm telling him it is for him. When they hear the lyrics they won't have a hard time figuring it out. Derrick stands from the piano and I sit. I open my notebook to the song and take a deep breath. My fingers start to caress the keys. I look up at Tobias and start to sing.

You fascinated me

cloaked in shadows and secrecy

the beauty of a broken angel

I ventured carefully

afraid of what you thought I'd be

but pretty soon I was entangled

You take me by the hand

I question who I am

Teach me how to fight

i'll show you how to win

you're my mortal flaw

and I'm your fatal sin

let me feel the sting

the pain

the burn

under my skin

Put me to the test

i'll prove that I'm strong

won't let myself believe

that what we feel is wrong

finally see what

you knew was inside me

all along

That behind this soft exterior

Lies a warrior

My memory refused

to separate the lies from truth

and search the past

my mind created

I kept on pushing through

standing resolute which you

in equal measure

loved and hated

You take me by the hand

I'm seeing who I am

Teach me how to fight

i'll show you how to win

you're my mortal flaw

and I'm your fatal sin

let me feel the sting

the pain

the burn

under my skin

Put me to the test

i'll prove that I'm strong

won't let myself believe

that what we feel is wrong

I finally see what

you knew was inside me

all along

That behind this soft exterior

Lies a warrior

Lies a warrior

take me by the hand

I'm sure of who I am

Teach me how to fight

i'll show you how to win

you're my mortal flaw

and I'm your fatal sin

let me feel the sting

the pain

the burn

under my skin

Put me to the test

I'll prove that I'm strong

won't let myself believe

that what we feel is wrong

I finally see what

you knew was inside me

all along

That behind this soft exterior

Lies a warrior

The pictures come to life

wake in the dead of night

open my eyes

I must be dreaming

Clutch my pillow tight

brace myself for the fight

I've heard that seeing

is believing

"That was for me wasn't it?" Tobias asks. "Yes." I say. Tobias comes around to my side of the piano. He reaches down and pulls me up by wrapping his right arm around my waist. He places his left hand on the side of my face. Quietly he says to me, "You don't have to prove who you are. I already know. I knew it when you jumped first and landed in my net. I knew it when you spent hours in the training room when you thought you were alone. I may have taught you to fight, Tris, but you taught me so much more." I wrap my hands around his neck and he kisses me. I pull back and look in his eyes. "Presents!" I say. "Presents?" He asks. "What birthday party would be complete without presents?" I giggle. "You didn't get me anything did you, Tris? You didn't have to do that."

"Sure we did." Christina says. "We?" Tobias says. Christina ushers us all to the living room. Zeke and Uriah bring the gifts out from the bedroom where they were hiding. "Here Tris you go first." Christina hands me the black box. I look at Tiv and she smiles at me. "Sit." I tell Tobias and point to the couch. I sit on the floor beside his legs and hand him the box. He looks at me with those beautiful deep blue eyes. There is lightness in them now. His eyes carry a childlike glow. He looks down to the box and lifts the lid. He slowly opens the black tissue paper to reveal the tag. Tobias lifts it from the box and looks at it. I take the box from him and set it on the floor to my left. He closes his hand around the tag and brings his hand to his mouth. "I've never gotten a gift before." He says. "But if I had been given a thousand this would be the second best one I have ever gotten." He leans in close to kiss me and whispers, "You are first." He presses his lips to mine.

"Open your next one." I say. "This is from me. Zeke didn't want his name on it." Christina laughs. Tobias takes the white box from her and lifts the lid. He laughs and closes the box. He hands it to me. "I think she got our birthdays mixed up." He says grinning. "No, Four, it is definitely for you." Zeke laughs. I open the box and pull out the sluttiest lingerie I have ever seen! "Oh my god Christina!" Everyone laughs. "How is this for him…" I stop myself when it dawns on me. "Oh." I say. I look up to see Tobias grinning at me. "I guess we both get a present tonight." I laugh. "Thank you Christina." Tobias says and gives her a little wink. "Who's next?" Christina asks.

"I am." Eric says. Tobias looks over at Eric surprised that he got him something. "I don't have anything for you to open but I got it approved for a group of us to go to Wrigley Field and play a game of baseball. Whenever we can all get together."

"Are you fucking kidding me, Eric? That is….wow." Tobias says. He has always loved baseball. Every faction plays it. When Marcus was at work he used to sneak out and play with the other kids during the summer. We never met because I played in the evening. He had to be home cooking for Marcus.

"My turn." Zeke says. "A new case for your guitar. You old one is looking pretty ragged." Tobias smiles, "Hey, don't hate the case man." They laugh. "Thank you." He says.

"We are next." Uriah says. "Here Four, we thought you would like these. Just go easy on Tris this time." Marlene says. Four opens the box and laughs. He looks at me and says, "You're in trouble now." He pulls out four silver throwing knives. Each one has "Four" engraved on the handle. Tobias flips them and spins them in his hand. "These are great. Thank you!" He says.

Will and Shauna hand Tobias an envelope. "Thank you." Tobias says. He opens it and finds a gift certificate to Opaque. "Date night for you and Tris." Shauna says. Opaque is a very expensive restaurant here in Dauntless. This is too much. "Wow, you didn't have to do this." Tobias says. We look at each other. "But we wanted to." Will says.

"Al and I went in on this together." Peter says. "Actually we made it. It goes on your belt and holds four clips." Tobias turns it around in his hands. "How long did it take you to make one?" He asks Al and Peter. "Why?" Peter asks. "Well, this is pretty awesome. I love it. This could come in very handy to a lot of people soon." Tobias walks over to the cabinet and gets his gun. He releases the clip and slides it in one of the slots. He unsnaps the metal snap on the back and loops it over his belt and snaps it closed. He practices reaching for it and testing how easily the clip goes in and out. He takes it off and hands it to Eric. "Try it." He says. Eric tests it the way Tobias does. "Yeah, I like it." He says. "Do you have the supplies to make more?" Eric asks.

"No, we get the leather from Amity. This was the only one we made and it was made from spare materials." Al says. "As soon as you get to work tomorrow write up a purchase order. Get enough materials to make 200 of these. Get it on my desk ASAP and I'll approve it and send it to Amity. Get some of your workers together and get some scrap material gathered up and teach them how to make them." Eric says. Al and Peter glance at each other and smile. "With 10 guys and the right materials we can have 200 in a week." Peter says. "Move people around where you need them." Tobias says.

Tobias returns his clip to his gun and places it back in the cabinet. He comes back and sits by me again. "This was great you guys. All the gifts, the cake, the music, the company…much more than I deserve." Tobias says.

"There are more gifts." Christina says. Tobias shakes his head. "It is from me." Lynn says. She hands a small box to Tobias. He looks at her then down at the box. He opens it to find a folded piece of paper. He opens the paper then quickly looks up at Lynn. She nods. He leans forward and places his elbows on his knees and holds the paper in both hands and begins to read it to himself. At one point he rubs the back of his neck with one hand then rests his elbow back onto his knee. Tobias takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes and exhales. He folds up the paper and stands to place it in his back pocket. He walks over to Lynn and kisses her cheek and gives her a big hug. He holds her for a moment before pulling back and saying, "Thank you. And I always will." Lynn turns and tries to hide herself wiping a tear and walks into the kitchen.

Shawn gives Tobias a cleaning kit for his guitar and Derrick gives him a new guitar stand and strap. The strap is embroidered with Dauntless flames and 'Four' that rests down his chest.

"We have something for you too." Tiv says. Voodoo hands a black box to Tobias. He opens it and gives that smile that lights up any room he is in. He holds up another tag but this one is blank. The note inside says 'For Tris'. "Just let me know what you want it to say." She grins. "That's perfect." He says. He grabs a pen from the side table and turns the note over. On it he writes

VI-

I love you. I always have

and I always will. With all my

heart and with all my soul.

-IV

He places the note and the tag in the box and hands it to Tiv.

"This has been an incredible night. Thank you all so much. I don't talk much," he laughs, "but I'm speechless right now." Tobias says. Al and Peter announce that they are going to leave to get started on the plans for the clip carrier they will be making. Will and Shauna say that they should be going as well. "We should be going too. I need to check on Jace at the station." Voodoo says. Tobias and I walk them to the door. I give Tiv a hug and thank her for coming. "We will have to get together again soon." She says. "Absolutely." I agree. Tobias shakes Poppa Voodoo's hand and thanks him for coming. They talk for a minute about the party tomorrow night. Poppa Voodoo is hosting the event. "Again, thank you for coming Voodoo." Tobias says. "Please, it's Pedro." Tiv raises her eyebrows and smiles. "Looks like your part of the family now." She says and hugs me again. It was so nice having them over. I hope we get to hang out again soon.

As our friends start to leave Tobias takes a couple of our friends aside and asks them to stay. He is quiet about it so none of our other guests over hear. They start to busy themselves with cleaning up from the apartment so no one gets hurt or feels left out. Marlene and Zeke start taking down the birthday decorations. Christina and Lynn are cleaning up the kitchen and Uriah is putting all of the left over alcohol in a cabinet. Our other friends are very close to us. They are our family too. These five, however, are the closest of them all. These are like our immediate family members and the others are like extended family. We love them all but these people are different from anyone else.

Once everyone is gone Tobias gathers us in the living room. He sits on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his fingertips pressed together. He lifts his head to look at our friends. I sit beside him but do not know what he is going to tell us. Part of me is afraid that there is more to what leadership told us tonight. I place my hand on his upper leg and he looks over at me and smiles. "Is everything ok?" I ask. He nods warily.

Tobias exhales as he begins. "I asked the five of you to stay with Tris and I because I feel like I owe you something."

"You don't owe us anything." Lynn says confused.

"Yes, I do. I don't mean gifts or anything. Look, I'm not good with….emotional shit. So spare me all that weepy stuff. We're playing a game here."

"Yes!" Uriah shouts. "I vote Truth or Dare!"

"Uh, no," Tobias says, "We are playing Truth but only I answer and there are no punishments or ways to get out of answering. Candor," Tobias says nodding to Christina, "you can tell them if I am being honest."

"Where do we start?" Marlene asks. "Start slow. I gotta work my way into this." Tobias says.

"Ok, something easy," Lynn says, "What is your favorite color?" Tobias grins, "Blue-grey." I grins. "How do we know who goes next?" Christina asks. "Just go down the line." Tris says. "How many rounds?" asks Christina. "Until you are all satisfied but like I said, take it slow the first couple of rounds." Tobias answers. "Zeke, you are up."

"Ok. I hope I'm not giving away some big secret here but why did you stay a virgin until Tris?" Zeke asks. "Until Tris there wasn't anyone worth letting into my world." Tobias answers.

"Do you like me?" Christina asks. Tobias laughs. "When I met you, Christina, I really wanted to hate your Candor smart-mouth. I did put you in check but it was actually comical. You are with my best friend and you're like a sister to Tris." Tobias grins. "So is that a yes?" Christina asks. Tobias tips his head and grins, "Only one question at a time, Candor." Christina rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Why do you pick on me so much?" Uriah asks. "Because I can." Tobias answers. "Nope! There is more to that." Christina says. "I'm going to start not liking you, Christina." Tobias says. "So you like me?" Christina laughs. Tobias rolls his eyes and looks back at Uriah. "You are like a little brother to me. I will beat the hell out of you but if anyone else tries to mess with you I will kill them." Tobias finishes and Uriah grins and elbows Marlene. "Hey!" Marlene says.

"Ok. When did you first take more than an instructor's interest in Tris." Marlene asks. "When I pulled her out of the net. There was something different about her. I tried not to develop feelings for her but…" Tobias grins.

"After Tris kissed you in the cafeteria when we became members a lot of people thought you helped her through initiation. Did you?" Lynn asked. "No, I didn't. She got there on her own. If I had it my way she never would have fought Peter though. There was nothing I could do about it." Tobias said. Christina nods to Lynn.

Zeke asks, "Do you really only have four fears?" "Four then, four now." Tobias answers.

"What is one of your fears?" Christina asks. "Heights." Tobias answers.

"How do you know that you still have four fears? You told us we could lose them." Uriah asks. "You can lose them. They can be replaced by other fears or they can change on some form. I know because I revisit my fear landscape often." Tobias says. "On purpose?!" Uriah asks. "One question at a time but yes on purpose." Tobias says and looks toward Marlene.

"Tell us one fear that has changed. What was it and what is it now." Marlene asks. Tobias looks over at me then turns back to the group. "One fear used to be killing an innocent person. It changed into watching Tris die." Tobias answered. The group looks at him with sadness in their eyes. "Don't." he says.

"Round three, Four, are you sure you want to continue." Lynn asks. "Is that your question?" Tobias asks in return. "No." Lynn says. "My question is this. Rumors are that you are a transfer. Are you?" she asks. "Yes." Tobias says just as straight faced as if she is asking if he wants a beer. I can tell that inside he is afraid of what is coming.

"We were in initiation together. I knew you were a transfer but we didn't meet until second phase. Where did you transfer from?" Zeke asks. "Here we go. Now we are getting to the stuff you have all been wondering. I transferred from…" The group is on pins and needles and looking so intently at Tobias. "Amity." Tobias says with a grin. "No way!" Uriah says. "Wow!" Marlene says in shock. "You have got to be kidding me, Four!" Lynn says in disbelief. "Ask Christina if I am lying." Tobias says with a crooked grin. "Christina?" Zeke asks. "He is lying." She says. They all look at Tobias. "Of course I am lying. Do you guys really thing I would be all sunshine and flowers and dancing around a tree singing Kumbaya?" Tobias gives a hearty laugh. I join in. "That would be something to see." I say laughing.

"Let's see if you guys can guess." Tobias says. "I can't see you as anything but Dauntless." Zeke says. Lynn nods her head. "I am Dauntless. But we have established that I am not from Dauntless." Tobias says. "So, we know you aren't from Dauntless or Amity. I don't remember you in Candor so I am going to say Erudite." Christina says. "But wouldn't Will or Peter know him?" Marlene says. "I kept to myself. Even people from my old faction wouldn't recognize me." Tobias says. "So you _were_ Erudite." Uriah says. Tobias looks over at me and I nod. "No. I was Abnegation." Tobias admits.

"Oh my…" Christina starts to say and looks over at me. "Did you know each other?" Christina asks. "No," Tobias begins, "I knew of the Prior family. I knew they had two kids, a boy and a girl. When I met Tris's mom on family day I knew her and think she recognized me. I can't be sure because she played it off so well. I'd like to find out if she did. Until that day I didn't know she was in the Prior family. We had been in the same places at the same time but I was always closed off. The first time I heard her sing I knew who she was. She always played piano at the Thursday night meetings. I didn't go to many but I always looked forward to hearing her sing." Tobias grins at me.

"That's so sweet." Marlene says. "So can we stop the game for a minute and hear more about the two of you in Abnegation. Like, Tris, did you recognize him? Did you know of him?" Marlene asks. I look at Tobias, "Do you mind?" Tobias answers, "Not at all."

"I was at his house when I was 5. I remember him as a 7 year old standing by the window and looking out. I kept to myself a lot too because I knew I never belonged in Abnegation. I don't remember him in school. I knew his father and that he had a son but that is about it." I explain.

"That is so romantic," Marlene says, "You two were both Abnegation but it took you to come to Dauntless to meet and fall in love." I look up at Tobias and grin. He kisses me on the forehead.

"Being a transfer," I start to explain, "is like living two lives. You guys don't know where we come from and what it was like there. Just like Christina, we don't know what it was like to be Candor. Only another Candor would know. We are both Dauntless but sometimes your original faction kinda comes through. I'm going to use Christina as an example. Right now she is using her Candor skills as a human lie detector. She will always be honest even though it isn't a Dauntless trait. Four and I will always have that little bit of selflessness in us. We both give to each other and don't want to burden the other with things. They are just things that follow you no matter how much you aren't your original faction. I am not completely Abnegation and neither was Four. Ninety-five percent of Abnegation never leaves. I am not trying to be self-centered but it did take a lot of courage for us to leave. We understand that about each other. We know where we have been, where we are, and where we want to be."

Tobias grins, "You're not trying to be self-centered? Perfect example. Your Abnegation is showing." We all laugh and I shove him a little.

"I like getting to know you." Marlene says. "I love hearing about you and Tris. I don't really care about all those things people wonder about you. I like to know more about who you are now. The person you are now is the person we love."

"Thank you, Marlene. It is Uriah's turn then you can ask me anything." Tobias grins.

"Man, I don't even know what to ask anymore. That was pretty huge for you to tell us that. Um…so you met Tris's mom. Have you met her dad?" Uriah asks. "Yes. He came to a leadership meeting last week and I met him. He is a great man." Tobias says. I wrap my arms around his arm and scoot in closer to him.

"What did he think about you? I mean, if he is an Abnegation leader and you walk in all….Four…and say 'hey, I hooked up with your daughter' that has to be a surprise, ya know." Marlene says. "It didn't go exactly like that. Andrew is a councilman. He was here with Marcus Eaton, the leader of Abnegation. I pulled him aside and he asked if I knew his daughter. He wanted to know how she was doing. I told him I knew her and told him about how well she did in initiation and that she is a member now. This better not leave this room!" The group nods. "I brought Tris up to see him. We talked and told him we are engaged. He was very happy for us. He shook my hand." Tobias grinned. "Abnegation doesn't shake hands. Tris had to go before anyone got suspicious so I kept Andrew in my office a little longer." Tobias finished.

"What did you guys talk about when she left?" Marlene added. "One question, Marlene, but I will answer. In Abnegation you ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage. I guess that is something I held onto. I told him I wish I could have done things the right way but I still wanted to ask him for his approval."

"Oh my god, you did that?" I smile at Tobias. "Yes, I did, and he approved." I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. I love this man. "I told him who I was." He whispered to me, "He asked me if it was true and I told him yes." I look up into his eyes, "You told him?" I hug him again. My father approved of Four _and_ Tobias!

"Do they do that in Candor?" Zeke asks hesitantly. Christina laughs, "No. The father puts you under truth serum and find out _everything_." "Shit!" Zeke says. "Why? Is there a question you want to ask me?" Christina laughs. Zeke nudges her with his arm and turns his attention back to us.

"So I guess it is my turn." Lynn says. "You mentioned Marcus Eaton." I can feel Tobias's body go rigid. "Did either of you know him?" She asks. "Yes. Both of us did." He answers.

"Is it true what they say about him?" Zeke asks. "Yes." Tobias answers. He is rubbing his palms on his pants.

"Did either of you know his son?" Christina asks. "I knew him. Tris only knew of him."

"Is that why he defected?" Uriah asks. "No. That wasn't the only reason." Tobias says.

"I heard about him. I can't think of his name." Marlene says. "Tobias." Tobias says. "What was he like? Did anyone know what Marcus did to him?" Marlene asks. "No. Nobody knew and he was a lot like I used to be. Closed off and kept to himself."

"How do you know so much about him? Were you close?" Lynn said. "Yes, I guess we were pretty close." Tobias says.

"I know him." Zeke says. "What?" Tobias says while bringing his brows together. "What is your real name, Four?" Tobias runs his hand through his hair. He looks at me and I give him a nod. "Never forget that I am Four. Part of me has always been Four. I was born Tobias Eaton."

Marlene gasps and her hand flies to her mouth. "That explains a lot." Zeke says. Tobias fidgets with his fingers.

"Why did you keep it from everyone?" Christina asks. "I have my reasons. I'll tell you guys and hopefully after you hear the entire store you will understand and keep this in the family." Tobias says. Everyone nods.

"My father, Marcus, beat my mother. She died when I was 7. That was when Tris says she remembered me. She and her family were at my mother's funeral. Since she was gone Marcus turned his rage on me. He beat me and tortured me every single day. He beat me with a belt and left scars all over my back. He said it was for my own good. He locked me in an upstairs closet with no food or water. I don't know how long I was in there each time. It could have been hours or days. Since I was 7 years old I cooked for him, cleaned for him, did everything he asked me to so he wouldn't beat me again but it was always something. I wanted to kill him. I always wished it was him that died and not my mother. I glorified her. Marcus controlled every aspect of my life. As I got closer to 16 it got worse. He told me he would kill me if I left Abnegation. He told me what job I would get, where I would live, who I was going to marry, and how many kids to have. If I disobeyed him he would kill me. As a leader he had to portray a perfect life and I was not the perfect son. I wasn't Abnegation. I left to get away from him _and_ to be who I am. When I got here I wanted to leave that life behind me. After I jumped in the net, my instructor, Amar, asked me for my name. I told him to call me whatever he wanted. That year they did our fear landscapes first. I only had four fears so Amar started calling me Four. It stuck. Right before Tris went to her final fear landscape I told her who I was. Until then she didn't even know. I always knew she was different and I needed to tell her. Part of me was worried that she would look at me like I was some kind of kicked puppy but she didn't."

"That's because you aren't, Tobias. I have told you many times that you are strong, courageous and brave. What he did reflects who he is not who you are." Tobias kisses my temple.

"I didn't tell anyone here because I didn't want anyone looking at me like that. I am Four. Who you see now is not what happened to me. Who you see now is who I am because of what happened to me. I'm not a victim. My biggest fear was Marcus. I faced him not that long ago. He was actually afraid of me." Tobias snickers. "I went into my fear landscape after that because I wanted to see if my fears changed. I told you one that changed. My fears are heights, confinement, watching Tris die, and turning out like Marcus."

"You are nothing like him!" Lynn says. "You have spent the last two years teaching us and protecting us. Nothing against anyone else in this room but you and Zeke are like the foundation of this crazy family. I never would have made it out of my situation if you hadn't helped me and talked to me."

"We have all helped each other." Tobias says.

"So, why bring this all out now? Was it the party?" Uriah asks. "Not entirely. The party confirmed I was making the right decision. I always thought of you five and Tris as the closest people to me and you have all told me things and entrusted me with things. I felt like I was lying to you by not doing the same. I just don't do well with emotional stuff."

"Oh yes you do." I say. Tobias snaps his head toward me and I laugh.

"So one last thing and then you guys can let me have it. I told you I glorified my mother. Yesterday the factionless sent a little girl to deliver a letter. The letter was from the factionless. The now have a leader. The girls exact words were, 'Edward said to give this to Four.' The same Edward from your class, Tris. The letter was from my mother."

"What? How?" There is a commotion among our friends.

"Her letter told me that she resented me. My father beat her but not me. She couldn't look at me without thinking about him. So she left. She and my father faked her death. My father didn't want anyone to know that his wife left him. He had to save face so Evelyn Eaton died and she became factionless as Evelyn Johnson. She is leading the factionless to take out my father and to take over the government. She told me she wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I get in her way. 'War is war' she said. One squad has the mission to take her out. I'm leading that squad. I could have let what she said destroy my idea of family. I thought about it a lot since I found out. They had to be there but they didn't care about me. You guys are here and you don't have to be. Then you threw this party for me and the gifts you gave me were thought out. You guys really know me. Now you know all of me." Tobias finished.

"Get me on your squad." Lynn says. "Lynn, people are going to die. We can't all be on the same squad. I won't lose any of you. We all have a better chance to survive if we divide up."

"I want Christina and Uriah." Zeke says. "I'm a guard. I doubt I will be on a squad." Christina says. "Sorry, Christina, you aren't on a squad. It has nothing to do with your skill. We need you at the gate. We are going to be moving a lot of people. We think some factionless may pose as a faction member and get into Amity. But Uriah, you are a trainer. I know you and Zeke work well together but if you get paired up with Zeke you have to do what he says. He would be your squad leader and there won't be any room for brotherly arguments."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about this tonight, Tobias?" I say.

"I don't think I will ever get used to you being called Tobias." Zeke says. "Well don't get used to it because I am still Four. Tris is the only person who calls me Tobias and she only does that in private. I don't care if she says it around you guys but she knows when to say it and when not to. Guys, I'm still Four. I'm the same guy I was a few hours ago. Now you just know how I got here."

"I respect you more." Marlene says. "Me too." Adds Lynn. "Same." Zeke says. "I do too." Christina says. "I agree." Uriah says.

"One last question." Christina says. "When we first met you people told us stuff like you were chosen for leadership but you always turned it down. You came in first and you only have four fears. One question everyone asked is if you had a weakness. We all do so what's yours?"

"Tris." Tobias says without a second thought. Everyone laughs. "Other than Tris, dumbass." Christina says.

"Right now? Right now my weakness is the gift you gave me tonight. That outfit on my weakness. Kryptonite!" Tobias says.

We all sit around a little longer telling stories, jokes, and laughing. I miss my parents and my brother very much. Having Tobias here is like having a little piece of home. The friends here tonight really are my family now. I would do anything for them.

Tobias and I see everyone out. I close the door but when I turn around he is so close I nearly run into him. "That was some party." I say looking at the new tag around his neck. Tobias crosses his arms and says, "I wasn't expecting any of it. Especially gifts. I got a lot of gifts. I guess it made me greedy." Greedy? I look at him with a questioning look on my face. "I want one more." He says. "And that would be…?" I ask. Tobias reaches in the box that contains Christina's gift. "Put this on." He says sternly. Everything inside me stirs. "If I don't." I say. "You _will_." He says. My breathing is already starting to pick up. Four puts the outfit in my hands. "Go put this on and wait for me in the bedroom." He says. I stand there looking into his eyes. "Now." He says pointing to the bedroom door. I jump slightly with the sound of his voice but I obey. He is so fucking hot!

**~~~Authors Note~~~**

**I have been getting a lot of requests for two things. **

**1) Don't kill anyone. I don't want to. If I liked that our favorite characters have died then I wouldn't have written this story to change things lol. It is a war so people do have to die but I'm writing it so that the characters are split between different assignments.**

**2) More of dominant Four. I wasn't sure if you all like that. I happen to love it! I planned on bringing more of that back but I didn't know how much of dominant Four to bring. I planned on bringing him out to play after the big dauntless party but I didn't want to drag things out and have the party several days from where they are. I played with the time line if you noticed. Four and Tris got into the big fight yesterday but in the Cafeteria Max said that they went out on a special assignment a few days ago. That was done on purpose. Then at the party Four told his friends that he met with Andrew a week ago. That was also done on purpose. Even though it all technically happened "yesterday". If I had things play out in the right time span it would take two of their weeks to see any progress with the war. Anyways, The next chapter will be a lot shorter. It will be nothing but dominant Four the night of the birthday party. ****_ Let me know if I should go all out. I'll be typing it tonight._**

**Thank you so much for all of your input. You guys really do affect the story. As always, Review and Follow. Love and Hugs :)**


	24. Chapter 22

A/N. I everyone. I promised I would update every couple of days and it has been a couple weeks. I am so sorry. I have so much going on in my personal life. I won't be able to update again this week but will get the other half of this scene out to you as soon as I can. I am in the middle of planning a wedding then my husbands mom went into respiratory failure. She has been on a ventilator and flown to a hospital a couple hours away. We have been driving there daily. Tomorrow the family has to make the decision to follow her wishes and turn off life support. It is a very difficult time for us and I thank you so much for your patience with this. There are two fans I want to thank. Four10Six...thanks for your support and encouragement. You helped me so much! Dauntless-Princess3392 thank you for your review and suggesting the song in this chapter. It helped give me a theme of sorts for the night Tobias has planned for Tris.

Again...I will be back soon but give me a little time to support our family while we go through this horrific time.

Chapter 22

~~~Tris~~~

_Tobias and I see everyone out. I close the door but when I turn around he is so close I nearly run into him. "That was some party." I say looking at the new tag around his neck. Tobias crosses his arms and says, "I wasn't expecting any of it. Especially gifts. I got a lot of gifts. I guess it made me greedy." Greedy? I look at him with a questioning look on my face. "I want one more." He says. "And that would be…?" I ask. Tobias reaches in the box that contains Christina's gift. "Put this on." He says sternly. Everything inside me stirs. "If I don't?" I say. "You will." He says. My breathing is already starting to pick up. Four puts the outfit in my hands. "Go put this on and wait for me in the bedroom." He says. I stand there looking into his eyes. "Now." He says pointing to the bedroom door. I jump slightly with the sound of his voice but I obey. He is so fucking hot!_

~~~Tobias~~~

Tris took the outfit and started walking toward the bedroom door. I've been thinking about that outfit since I opened the box. I think about the fabric and its textures. Leather, lace, and satin combined with the smooth skin of the woman I can't resist. The song I wrote for her can only say it best, 'she's my downfall, she's my muse, my worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.' I never thought of myself as dominate and demanding sexually. I've always believed that a person should never push a woman in love, life, and especially sex. No matter what happens between two people it should always be done in love. Making love isn't confined to slow and sweet intimacy. It is exploring each other and taking your lover to new heights. Do I enjoy being dominant with Tris? I do. It isn't about the control. My intention is not to scare her but to give her a pleasure she never imagined. As I told her before, Fear doesn't shut her down it wakes her up. When I am like this with her that part of her wakes up. I see it in her eyes. When I see it I get so many mixed emotions. Pain, pleasure, aroused, worried, and so many more feelings. I feel the need to always protect her. She is like a rare gem. She is like a drug that my body craves and demands. Next week she will be my wife forever. We will be bonded together for life. She will be mine and I will be hers. I've always been hers even before I met her.

Tris should be dressed by now. I've waited longer than I thought it would take her to get dressed in the outfit. I hope she is in as much anticipation as I am. Before everyone left I excused myself and went into the bedroom. I'm sure they thought I was using the bathroom but I was in the bedroom getting things ready for this moment. I care about everyone that came tonight but I couldn't wait for them to leave. I smile to myself as I get my water and slowly open the bedroom door. The room is dim. Our light switch is a round nob. We can press it to turn the light on and then turn the nob to make it brighter or dimmer. Right now it is dimmed slightly. My guess is Tris feels more comfortable and hidden in the dimmed light rather than being exposed in the bright light in that outfit. When I open the door fully I see her. She is standing there with her hands clasped together in front of her. She clearly feels insecure. I will change that. She needs to know how beautiful she is. In the past few months she has gotten a year older and filled out in all the right places. She was beautiful before and I wouldn't have changed the way she looked. She is like a fine wine. She just keeps getting better. My heart thuds in my chest and my breath hitches but I don't let my emotion show. It takes a lot of self-control but I tap into the part of me that I show outside these walls. I only glance at her for a second before walking over to the night stand and setting down my glass of water. I steal glances of her standing on the other side of the bed but I don't make it obvious. I go into the bathroom and shut the door. Once in there I bend over and put my hands on my knees and exhale like I had been holding my breath for hours. I don't know how I am going to hold myself together.

I splash cold water on my face and press the hand towel to me. I quietly brush my teeth so she won't hear what I am doing. Breathe Tobias, I tell myself. I'm not nervous about what is about to happen. I am fully confident. What has me in pieces is her. I want all of her and now but this isn't about me. This is all about her. Being dominant like this is never about me. It is all about my desire to please her. I want to push her to the edge and bring her back over and over and when I think she is going to internally combust I will let her free fall.

Now composed, I walk out of the bathroom. I go to the left toward the door and dim the lights further. I go to where I sat my water and take out a box of matches from my pocket. I light a thick candle. I light the one on the dresser. I walk toward Tris and look her dead in the eyes. When I get close to her she straightens her body. She anticipates my touch but that's not going to happen. I walk around her to my side of the bed and light the candle she placed there months ago. We had candles in Abnegation. Our city ordinances require us to conserve energy at night and only use electric as needed. Abnegation turns off everything except a refrigerator. After 7pm we used candles or oil lamps. My father being the selfish man he is used electricity. When Tris discovered that outside Abnegation the candles are scented, well, the best way I can explain it is she is addicted to candles. She got a booklet from the candle section of the home store that explained all the scents. She discovered something called aromatherapy. She has lavender in the guest bathroom and apple something in the living room. In the bedroom she placed candles that are a mixture of vanilla and something cinnamon. It smells sweet and tempting. It reminds me of the vanilla perfume she wears. I can't get enough of that perfume. Between her perfume and the smell her shampoo leaves in her hair she is lucky if I can take my hands off of her for a second. We didn't have this kind of stuff in Abnegation. She gets so excited and tells me all about it. I listen as if I am interested in the subject but really I am interested in her excitement. Anything that she is passionate about is interesting to me. I love how she loves to learn about new things. I remember being new to Dauntless and discovering all the things I was sheltered from. I kept my curiosity and thoughts to myself but seeing her that way makes me want to show her the world. I have always been a deep thinker and have a love for wisdom. I don't mean the kind of knowledge that Erudite is passionate about but a deeper kind of wisdom that governs humanity. Is it theory or fact? What if? What is energy and does it rule or is it the God we learned about in Abnegation. I keep my thoughts on this to myself. I've always believed in free thinking and that a person should talk because they have something to say not because they have to say something. I would rather enjoy the quiet company of someone than talk to fill the air with noise. Important thoughts should be shared but quiet curiosity is yours to keep. I haven't said a word since I walked into the room. The room has only echoed the sound of my steps.

I lit the candle and walked past her again but this time my arm purposely brushed her arm lightly. She turned toward me but I walked past her to the chair in the corner of the room. I sat in the chair and slid down to relax. She walked over to me and stood in front of me. I reached over to the radio on the table beside the chair and turned it on. A slow seductive beat streams from the speakers. I place my hands on the arms of the chair and cross my right ankle over my left knee. "Dance." I whisper. Softly she replies, "But I don't know h…"

"Dance." I say lightly in a non-abrasive tone. She starts to sway her hips slightly with her hands still clasped in front of her. I raise my right hand and rest my jaw on my slightly closed fist. A few minutes go by. "Are you afraid?" I asked her. "Embarrassed and a little insecure I guess." She replied. "You are beautiful, Tris. It is just you and me. Everything you do is right." I assure her. Her arms drop to her side and she sways with the beat. Her head tips back and she closes her eyes. I know she feels it; the rhythm and each and every note. "Imagine the rhythm is me making love to you." I say. Her mouth opens slightly. Those lips call me into her. They are so soft and sweet. She is getting into the song more and more. "Your hands are my hands." I whisper. She runs her hands up from her legs and across her stomach. Her hands reach her breasts. She lingers for a moment and gently squeezes them before moving upward. She tips her head back again and runs her hands up her chest to her neck. She looks me in the eyes as best she could with me sitting in a dark corner. I watch her as she licks her lips and brings a finger to her mouth. Her finger glides over her lips and I remember the feel of her lips on mine. Tris parts her lips. I can see the glisten of her tongue in the candle light. She runs her tongue from left to right and back again across her bottom lip. Her finger becomes me. Very lightly and with seduction and desire. Tris kisses her fingers and blows the kiss in my direction. I am glad that it is dark over here. I unclench my fingers from the arms of the chair and quickly adjust myself.

Tris turns toward the bed and bends only at the waist. Her forearms rest on the bed. I start at the slick black heels on her feet and look my way up her legs. I don't know how long I can hold back. The throbbing in my chest travels down. Her hips sway and her legs part inches. She reaches down and runs her hand down her inner thigh to her knee and back up but she doesn't stop and her thigh. Her hand rubs between her legs as far as it would go then back to the front. She swings her long blond hair across her back and rubs down that sweet ass to her hip. I stand. I want to be the one touching her like that. I come up from behind her and grab both of her hips and pull my bulging pants into her. She lets out a shallow gasp. I walked to her with determination but did so quietly. Running my hands up from her lower back, I wonder if I can be the one to hold back. I hope I don't ruin all the plans I made for tonight. I have to stop! I can't help it. I want her.

I slide my right arm around to her stomach and gently pull her until her back is against me. My left arm wraps around her shoulder, across her chest, and my fingers wrap around her other shoulder. I lean down and she turns her head toward me. I want to kiss her but that will be the end of me. She raises her arm and places her hand toward the back of my neck and tries to pull me in for a kiss. I can't tell her no. I've never been able to tell her no. I turn her head with the hand that was on her shoulder and kiss down her neck to her shoulder with slow gentle kisses. I hold my breath. That sweet vanilla enters my nose and goes straight to my blood stream. Tris rests her hand on my arm that is around her waist.

Another slow song comes on the radio. I have to get out of this position. "Dance with me." I say. Tris turns around and places both hands on the sides of my neck and looks up at me. She is all but begging for a kiss. If I do then I will come undone. I wrap both arms around her waist and swing her around. She tips her head back and laughs. When she looks at me she says, "I love that crooked smile."

I take her in my arms as the lyrics dance with us.

_Touch, light as a feather  
>Thought i knew better<br>But he puts fire in my veins  
>Quick glance, swift as the ocean<br>But now i am frozen  
>He takes my breath away<br>But I'm not supposed to love him  
>Not supposed to think about his touch when I'm alone<br>The love was brand new  
>But now has a dark hue<br>I'm still as a statue, but he brings me to life_

Tris looks into my eyes and that sparkle is there. Our romance was forbidden but something drew me to her. I couldn't fight the magnetism. There was something in the way she fought against the glances just like I tried to fight. I kept telling myself not to touch her but I found myself breaking all the rules. She is irresistible and when she reached for my hand that first time I knew I my addiction was beyond help. I bring Tris closer. She rests her head on my chest and I breathe in the sensual smell of her hair.

_Don't care if it's right  
>Clip my wings take everything<br>Don't know what's right  
>Fire and ice<br>Keep your blue eyes away from me  
>I'm mesmerized<br>Fire and ice  
>Longing sits behind his eyes<br>Sits behind my eyes  
>We're like clockwork just in sync<br>I wanna run and jump in his arms  
>Let his calloused fingers run across my cheek<br>Now I'm weak_

If I don't act now, well, it is now or never. I take Tris by the shoulders and push her back toward the bed. Taking a step back I look at her as blank faced as I can. Her eyes search mine. I try not to show what I am feeling inside but I can't hide the love in my eyes. Oh, her eyes. They pierce my soul. They remind me of an autumn blue sky fighting with the winter grey.

"Lay on the bed." I point. "Go." Tris looks at me for a brief moment but does not question me. Tris crawls up to lay on the bed and I position a pillow under her head. I spread her legs and crawl in between. I lean down to kiss her soft lips but she reaches for me. I hold her by the wrists and place them above her head. Leaning down, I let my warm breath fall over her neck. Stopping at her ear I whisper. "This is all for you. Fire and Ice." I say. I release her wrists as I lean back. I straddle on of her legs while I remove my shirt. I release my belt but leave it hanging and unbutton my jeans but I don't unzip them. I lean toward Tris and remove a black blindfold from my back pocket. "One look." I say. Then I slip the blindfold over her eyes. I take her hands and bring them to my chest. "One touch." I say. She runs her hands over my body like she is memorizing each and every curve and ripple of my muscles. Her hands make their way up my chest to my neck. Her hands touch my cheeks. Grasping her wrist I bring it to my mouth. My eyes close automatically when I breathe her in. I gently kiss the inside of her wrist before taking it to the silk straps I've hidden under the pillows. "Tobias?" She says with a squirm. "Shhhh." I say as I place one finger over her lips. She inhales and her lips part to my finger as she kisses.

"Tell me a word, a color, a number, anything that you wouldn't say in here like this." I tell her.

"Why?" she asks. Her chest rises and falls a little faster. I run my fingers so lightly over the exposed parts of her breasts until the corset stops my path.

"Don't question me, Tris. Just tell me. Make it an easy word that you won't forget." I say sternly. I secure her wrists one at a time with the silk straps that are attached to the headboard.

"A number." She says. "Five."

"Why five?" I ask.

"It is the only thing that comes between us." She says. I smirk although she can't see me.

"Remember that number. If you seriously want me to stop then say 'five'. If you say it I will stop immediately. Do you understand me?"

"Yes." She says with a nod.


	25. Authors Note

**I want to thank everyone for your reviews and condolences. My husband's mom did pass away and Just as we finished her memorial service his grandfather passed away.**

**I WILL be continuing the story and I want to thank you for your loving words and your patience. **

**Please allow me this week to have Thanksgiving with my family and Friday for my Sisters wedding. Momma and Poppa Voodoo are getting married. Yes those characters are my sister and her fiance :)**

**Through all of this your reviews and private messages have kept me going.**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


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